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Please Guide me ..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vydehi, Oct 16, 2007.

  1. vydehi

    vydehi New IL'ite

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    Dear Jyothi,Lakshmi,Mona,Balamowani<WBR>,Vidya and Vandana Please accept my gratefulness for your support and time you gave for me.
    From your posts I understood that I have got much to learn and change myself.
    I always thought of plans for running away from this Married-Life whenever He or His family hurts me.
    The first thing that pops up in my brain whenever he comments or hurts me is ' OK anyways I am going to ahramam ....let him do whatever he want......let my MIL & SIL feel sorry of what they did after i leave..... ...let him miss me...... he will then know importance of me in his life... let me see who will come here and cook/wash/keep everything ready for him..once they find me they will not hurt me any more' . I always used to think like this and pass off those bad moments while they are hurting me.
    After going through jooti's threads , I am really moved by her situation. When jooti ,being pregnant trying to deal and sort out things , I :-( have been planning for a escape. I will also start (try atleast) to face them just like what Vandana and you all said. Whenever I start to speak out something when i am hurt, I can hardly say a word without tears rolling down and that trembling thing in my voice which I hate and I stop speaking.
    I really want to thank YOU all once again for supporting me.I was unable to share my pain with anyone and suffered a lot. I think I feel better now.Thank You all.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2007
  2. Vidya24

    Vidya24 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Vydehi- Glad that you feel better. And believe me, things will get better soon and you will be fine.

    Dear lmani- But, thank you, for telling me that Lagaa Chunri mein Daag is all about taking charge and female empowerment. I have been teaching gender for a few years now and am surprised that I did not look at LCMD from the empowerment point of view. There is a lesson in every post here. Thank you.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2007
  3. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

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    hi ,dont even think of ashrams and all. be strong and brave. if you know your mil or sil is going to shop for clothes for you, suggest that you will go along. if they dont live in the same country then be firm and tell your husband you will wear what you like, or go shopping with him and tell him to buy clothes that you both like. Be patient. Be firm and tell him you dont appreciate him making fun of your parents. how would he feel if you did the same. you are living in modern times, dont be scared. you have a right to say if you dont like something. cheer up!! you have a long way to go.
     
  4. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    You sound much more positive now.. I am glad some of the response could give you motivation. One thing i wanted to add, Dont ever feel so lonely that you have to talk to walls and burners.. if you want i can pass on my phone number. You can talk to me like a sister. I would be happy to lend an empathetic ear. If you want, lemme know i will pass on my number.
    NEVER EVER think of Ashram and all. There may be other kind of problems there.. Life is not about running away.. It s about taking it head on.. More you try to run away, more it will haunt you. Face it boldly and tactfully. There is no problem in the world which cannot be solved with thought and action.

    Cheer up.

    Ria
     
  5. vydehi

    vydehi New IL'ite

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    Ria2006

    Thank you veryy much Ria fr your concern. I've gone through many of your posts and really liked your way of approach and thinking towards facing problems.Though nothing much had changed in my relationship with my in-laws.. I've became lill stronger than before and not tolerating anymore nonsensical behaviour from them now.
    Once again Thank you very much for your time.
     

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