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please give suggestions

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by seem, Sep 2, 2007.

  1. seem

    seem New IL'ite

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    hi ladies,
    welcome all....iam a little bit older for this forum but i need to discuss with you all my friend's family situation..i felt very sad for her..but i couldn't judge the situation..if you ladies help me in this issue i will be very thankful to you all...my friend got married 2 years ago..initially,it seems that the in-laws are good people and they talked very likingly to her..but one thing happened before her marriage.she was always asked to go to her in laws house just to spend the time..she liked it and they also had a very good impression about her.but when she goes to her inlaws house,she felt her sister-in-law to be very rude..but not directly to her,but she(sister in law) will just shout in the house with her parents...and even if my friend goes to their house she will not respond properly...this made her feel sad and whenever they call her, she was hesitating to go to their house. and moreover,the inlaws liked my friend but they expected her to be always with them..always calling her to their house..as in laws she could not say no to this and she was going....everyday a telephonic call will come from that house and she will be busy talking to them for a long time..on one side, it seemed to be happy for her,but on other side,she couldnot spend more time with her parents...and since the alliance is a US alliance she thought she can spend time with her parents before marriage very well so that she will not have home sickness...but this has not happened to her...she was busy with her in-laws always either through phone or through direct contact...this made her felt sad on the other side..she doesn't know what to do in that situation ...marriage was over...The inlaws told their son to be with them beacuse he will leave to USA..so they have not gone to honeymoon in india...so,the son decided with all struggle to book to some place on their way to USA and they enjoyed...my friend usually is a little reserved person,so she will not talk that much to all...the inlaws were going on asking why she is not talking? the son told that she is a reserved person but they got irritated and said once she comes to in laws house she has to be like what inlaws are like...and soon the son also has changed and telling her that she is talking closely to her parents..why she is not talking closely to her inlaws...all she want is some space and time for her to be joveal with her inlaws...this concept,no one has understood clearly and every time there will be a fight...soon, the son's mother will always cry as my friend is not talking purposely to her....this made my friend so sad and restless..her sister in law will always fight about this as my friend is not respecting her mother in law...her sister in law will always make an issue out of it and she will unnecessarily interfere in all the things related to my friend...her husband will support my friend ..but when he has a conversation regarding this personally with my friend,he will not accept the fault of her sister or anybody in the famliy...his mother will always cry out in the phone just without any reason...this made my friend lost her interest in life and she is just living...friends ,what do you think about this situation....my friend has kept quite and she is not interfereing in conversation between her husband and his parents...whenever they go out somewhere to other place,or so,his parents will call even at that time and talk for about half an hour...her husband usually comes late everyday..she will wait for him for the whole day..if he comes to house the inlaws will call and they will talk for a long time...soon,sleeping time will come and they will go to sleep.they won't have time to spend for themselves..if she asks about this to her husband,he will say " you are wasting time fighting with me...don't count the phone call time..your fighting time is more than the phone call time".now,she has decided to keep quite and if call comes asusual,they made her talk with them..she usually talks to her parents in laws..but they felt ,that was not enough for them...they expected to talk all the time...and they expected my friend to call them by herself..this is not a big thing but after hearing all the bad words and scoldings from them,she is finding some difficulty in doing that...this issue seems to be silly to all but practically she is experiencing mental restlessness because of this...my friends,what do you think of this? give me some suggestions............please.........
     
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  2. sellakili

    sellakili Senior IL'ite

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    Hi...

    Ask your firend to be cool.... what matters in talking to in laws... Ask her not to feel bad... Think her mother in law as mother.... if ur mom scolds u... wont u talk to her back... who is her MIL... her hubby's mom only na... whats their expectation.. they jus want her to talk to them... If one person is fond of talking to other... it would be out of love only... Whats wrong in talking to her...ask her to think MIL as mom...ask her to talk as if she talks to her mom... shower love.... it makes the difference... Even her hubby will love her much... if she do like that... Just love makes the magic... the mirracle.... MIL is there in INDIA and she is in US know... MIL is not torturing or beating her na... after all she just wants her to talk... What matters in talking...Just ignore about the SIL.. Soon she will get her family and move on... As long as in US she wont see her SIL.. unless she comes to INDIA and that too may be for 1 month vaccation... it just doent matter to adjust for a month...when she talks well to MIL she too will support her... already in india now there is countable amount of joint familes... We need all to have a very good happy family... a child needs a affectionate granny grandpa...so nothing wrong in talking and showing love....
    Love just replictes in 1000 times....
    All the best to ur friend!:2thumbsup: As her to be :cool2:
    :thumbsup
    Love...
    Chella...
     

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