Please Give Suggestions, Urgent

deeplyartistic · Sep 7, 2019

Hi,
A little details about my kid and us.
He has just turned 5.he was born in USA.
But moved back to India due to some visa issues when he was 3.till then he dint have major interaction with any of kids of his age.
He could only speak English and that too with an accent.
After going to India we stayed In bangalore, and enrolled him in nursery at a nearby school.
Till then he was a very friendly child who used to socialise whenever he met someone ( even if it was a new person). Suddenly he became an introvert and dint mingle with other kids. Became very cranky and used to be very shy when he met anyone else other than few closeones. We thought it was because of his communication issues as kids could not understand his English.
We received a lot. Of complaints from school that he doesn't follow instructions much but he used to read and write well. He has good memory he never forgets anything even after years
Now we are back in USA and he started his kindergarten. Luckly he is exactly 5 as he is born in August and schools started in September. So he was of exact kindergarten age. He came back to his usual friendly self and seemed to be enjoying his school. We have been called by school yesterday and they gave a similar complaint of he not being able to follow instructions at one go and doesn't like to sit in one place but his reading writing everything else is good. But is needing a lil more help from the teacher to understand instructions. They suggested to keep. Him. In preschool for an year so that he gets habituatef to school environment here in USA. We do not want to do so as his 1yr will go for waste, explained our situation to them asked to give him some more time to judge him. They asked for a meet again in 3weeks to check progress.
Can anyone please give suggestions what we can do in this situation. He is very smart as a kid and knows a lot of things that kids of his age do not know. But one thing is his attention span is less and he is not very attentive, looks here and there and seems to be lost in his own world
Please give some suggestions. I am really disturbed with all this scenario. I am a stay at home mom

Angela123 · Oct 1, 2019

Did you talk to his doctor? I would start there. It might be nothing, but doc can give some valuable suggestions. Also, if he has ADHD or something similar (please do not quote me on this) talking to a doctor would help a lot. Does he have a routine? is he getting enough sleep and eating well? From what I read he sounds like a smart guy and like to spend time by his rules. Some kids are like that and parents and teachers need to work around them.

armummy · Oct 1, 2019

Don’t immodestly take the preschool decision ... ask teachers to give you some time and work in doing the instruction practice at home ... see how it goes .... and don’t jump into any medical conclusions yet ... observe and decide ... it could be a problem with him getting used teachers accent or may be he is youngest in class and not able to mix up with others ...pre school

In the worst case you have to do it , it is not bad for repeating ... next year he will be older and may have more social maturity

BhumiBabe · Oct 1, 2019

I might be in the minority about this, and honestly, I’m only answering based on your own observations and the given information.

There is nothing wrong with letting your son stay back another year in preschool. That type of recommendation is not to condemn your child but give him a better chance to get comfortable in the school environment. Social maturity and academic intelligence are 2 very different things. Even you have said that he struggles with following directions and paying attention. Sometimes, some extra time in a non stressful environment like preschool may allow him the space to gain those skills. You could consider asking your pediatrician and letting him/her observe him. Most likely, they will say he’s normal and would suggest some ways to handle your current challenges.

Moving from one country to another is not an easy experience. Children may adapt quickly but they do acutely feel the changes of their environment.

As an immigrant child myself, I am no stranger to the pressures of my parents trying to help me skip a grade. Despite being fluent in English from growing up in NZ, but having a 6 month hiatus in India (and a traumatic immersion into a preschool in India) I was placed in ESL (English as a second language) and kept back a grade, when I moved to the US in 1st grade. At that time, I had trouble following American English since I still spoke like a new zealander. Being behind in my class made me very self conscious, and I avoided talking in class. I think it was smart of my parents to hold me back a year, so that I can perform in the same level as my peers.