Please advise .....

sobha256 · Jun 3, 2010

Hi,

I am in a sad situation. My sister is getting married soon and we are going to india for it. But my husband is saying that he is coming to my house on the day of the wedding. He wants to spend the entire vacation time with his parents and his family. We are a family of two girls, me and my sister. What to do at this situation? since we dont have a brother, he can come and help my parents at least a day earlier. He is saying that I can go 3 days earlier , but he will come with our daughter on the day of the marriage !!! what should i answer the people who ask abt my husband and daughter? what to tell my parents abt their son in law? My parents will really hurt abt it... I am really sad and worried...

lavii · Jun 3, 2010

hows the relation between your dh and your parents?
any bad incidents happened before may be during marriage or last visits you had?
ask your dh if there is any particular reason behind him saying he will come like a guest on the Marriage day
i have seen my friends husband who was acting liek a guest all through his sister in laws wedding and just came 1 day back and left..no issues with his DWs parents but he was just showing attitude there

flowerlady · Jun 3, 2010

Let your Husband join on the day of the wedding , you and daughter can go for a week or 10 days to enjoy and help .
Since its a happy occasion dont go around with a long face at your parents place . You can give health reasons of ILs as excuse if relatives inquire about DH or reservations etc.
Even if DH comes a day earlier do you think he will help or create problems ?
Enjoy on your own and let him have fun at his parents place, but get DD with you !

raha256 · Jun 3, 2010

1. how long is your stay in India?.
2. How is the realtionship between ur DH and ur Parents?
3. How is your realtionship with ur inlaws?.
4. Do you know whether ur sister invitation card has reached ur inlaws?

the reason y i am asking tese question are
1. if this trip is short then i think ur Dh wants to spend time with his parents. if it a bit long you can talk to him that his help is required.
2. any pbm between ur DH and ur parents. if no, then tell ur parents also to talk with your DH to come early as it would of great help to them. give a ego massage to your DH. (sometime we are forced to do this)
3. If u share a good space with ur inlaws, u can talk to them. u can tell ur DH that first u can visit ur inlaws and then proceed to ur parents place. take ur inlaws with u. this way ur DH can spend good with his parents and u can have ur DH with u. (this u can do ONLY IF UR REALTIONSHIP ARE GOOD)
4. sometimes, this happens if they haven't received ur DH would think it an insult.

think and decide.

come what may DD SHOULD BE WITH U.