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Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work......

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by neena35, Mar 29, 2010.

  1. Peperoncino

    Peperoncino New IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    Hi Neena.

    I’m going to focus solely on your job situation:

    In a merger (or pre-merger) situations, no one can predict the future. In a probable merger, no one can even guarantee if the merger will even be successfully completed. Things are very fluid and may change from day to day. Post -merger is another kettle of fish altogether; it will depend on the terms and conditions of the merger, and who gets what, and who is responsible for what.

    So, I’ll take everything you’re told at face value and with a great pinch of salt. Look, even your boss’s boss cannot guarantee what will happen in post-merger situations. It’s difficult to say what your boss’s boss intentions are as I do not know him; and I do not even know if he is part of the merger committee. He might be a genuinely nice guy, but like I said, he could be in the dark, or he simply does not know what will happen in the future. What seems clear is that he does not seem to want to lose an employee like you.

    If I were you, I would speak to a recruitment consultant as soon as possible, and cover all the bases. If what your boss’s boss said comes true in a couple of months, and you get the job you feel you deserve, then all is fine. If not, at least by engaging the services of the recruitment consultant right now, you would already have had a head start in your job hunting process.

    So, according to me, it is a no-brainer – speak to a recruitment consultant specialising in your industry or job type asap!

    All the best!
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2010
  2. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    +1 to what Peperoncino said. You have already conveyed to your boss and boss's boss that you are not happy with the current setup. If they understand and try to set it right, then fine. But if your boss (DH) is able to convince his boss that his decision is correct, then you might face problems in future. So start looking out for a job. If things go in your favor, stick to the same job, else you will have a backup.

    Post-merger reorganization generally results in a lot of changes in the team and sometimes even layoffs to cut costs. What if the team you are currently asked to train is a replacement. So be prepared and start applying for jobs. As your boss said that there is still few months time, you have enough time to wait for the offer of your choice. So start looking out at the earliest.

    -Lakshmi
     
  3. neena35

    neena35 New IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....


    Yes, Peper and Lakshmi, I will start looking out and keep options open.
    Thanks for your suggestions.
     
  4. jaagrutik

    jaagrutik New IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    just try to mention it at home that is my advise. im in the same situation as you he is my boss at work. i find that when we are out of work we are closer to each other or feel at bit more personal to each other. for me it seems that he listens to me more out of the work place and so when i tell him about my concerns he listens as a husband and when i get back to work the change shows in the way he acts..try it!
     
  5. Sobhi

    Sobhi Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    Hello Dear

    First of all I would advise you to talk to your husband openly. Agreed that you dont discuss work at home which a very good habit, but here since you mentioned you are disturbed mentally more because he is your husband and he was involved or cause of all this that happened to you.

    Its very important to clear this clutter away from your mind either you change your job or be in the same one. EVen if you change your job you may always have this at the back of the mind that your husband was cause of all this.

    I would say 2 things, discuss with ur husband openly and bring out your frustration. Let him know how much you are hurt.

    Secondly look at for a new job. GOing to HR , dragging this issue longer may all lead to problems in ur married life.

    These kind of situations may keep coming if you work together.

    shobha
     
  6. chaand

    chaand New IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    I think that u shud definitely seek some recruitment agency and keep looking for a better job and as soon as u get a better job ..just dump this job as well as ur boss and also if I were u I wud not tell my DH abt my job search....but instead give him a surprise on his face. I know u don't want to change job but still this is my advise or wait for the right time...as every dog has his day
     
  7. shwetha12

    shwetha12 Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    Neena,

    Any update from your end ; its so long time . I am so eager ..
     
  8. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    ................................
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2012
  9. jayavk

    jayavk Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    hey I feel you should make a choice on what is more important to you your husband or your promotion. I know you may say both but in life you have to make choices. As you said at home your husband helps you. and your job is a good one I think you should feel contented rather the making yourself and your life miserable. He is your husband and if he loves you and you believe so just trust his decision.
     
  10. vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Please advise me how to set my boss straight........my dh is my boss at work.....

    i think you can walk out clean n find the same or better position in another organization, jus keep your options open,
     

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