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Physical Intimacy With Spouse

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by Anusha2917, Sep 7, 2019.

  1. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Get a time machine and go back to the second year of marriage .

    You love for love and let things happen .Flirt and tease and have fun .May be going for another honeymoon will be fun .

    If husband wants ,he can keep a track of your lady times and woo you to bed or whereever ....guys like challenges...

    Best wishes girl .
    BhumiBabe, Sunshine04 and Anusha2917 like this.
  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Since you have tried and failed many times, I would advice you to stop trying to conceive for now. Let's say for 6 months from now.
    Speak to your H, and convince him to stop this for a while.
    Mentally prepare for it, and start your life from this point onwards.

    It is easy for you, since you have somewhat accepted childlessness. Make your H accept this at least for now.

    Don't watch out your timing for intimacy... Fertile days or not, that shouldn't matter. Physical exercise, life style etc..etc... in relation to TTC shouldn't matter.
    After a few cycle you would even forget when's your ovulation, and when's your period time until the symptoms start.
    Wait till that time to officially say you are free from TTC.

    Meanwhile, focus on the other aspects of your life. Investments, vacationing, career, hobby or whatever that interest you.
    Start going to some far places, and call it as second honeymoon.
    Enjoy the company of each other in a changed environment, and change mindset - mainly free of TTC.

    Since you love him, and attracted to him, I am sure the spark comes back naturally. Just that, your TTC and worry is what holding you back.

    Remember, there are so many stories when women get conceived naturally without even knowing it during their TTC break time.
    TTC is a very stressful part of any women's life. Stress on the other hand is the culprit in TTC.
    So, take it as it comes with a free mind. Enjoy
    lavani, yellowmango and Anusha2917 like this.
  3. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    @Anusha2917 : Just like our fellow ILites pointed out, when you stress, it will not happen. Also, if you read about it (my knowledge is mostly online, and I talked to my doctor, as I am also TTC since a couple months (only)), some articles indicates that the chances increase when both people have pleasure. Excuse me for being explicit. So may be it is the stress. I am assuming that you have done the medical testing and everything is good with both of you. My doc suggested that to increase the chances, try every other day when I think I am ovulating. This is however, a second step for you since you need to first find excitement for the process. As I read through your posts here, I really think first and foremost reason is the stress, since you have a goal of conceiving. However, you have to find the journey enjoyable too.
    Physical intimacy is not just s**. it is important that before you get there, try to build up closeness, by spending time together whenever you can. Rekindling those first phase of relationship if you can. texting while at work, talking over lunch break, etc. will help. Try to incorporate physical closeness during the day when you are together - random kisses, hugs or massages or anything like that. . I don't wait around him to make the first move. it helps a lot with our relationship. Me and DH texts a lot and talk whenever we get a chance during the day about our day or all boring stuff I leave early for work and i dont see him until after dinner. So i try to talk in between on whats going on, even if there is nothing. And we both like it, and we feel talks brings us closer. When you feel s** like a chore, talk to your husband, what would you/he like or improve. Or what can you try new. Also, talking during and after is also good. Like complementing, it boosts confidence and happiness. Or when something dont work, or you dont enjoy. It really does help to enjoy the process and make it better. I believe you are married for a few years now, so if you still are shy in initiating things, try to overcome that. Also to try new things in relationship, there are tons of tips online also in women magazines. There is nothing to stop you from trying a few things or all of them. Dont get discouraged. Some people have to try hard, some others have to try even harder to get to the goal. But there is always a way.
    Anusha2917 and lavani like this.

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