Physical appearance/dressing and Academic qualification - Do they need to match?

I too faced / facing this type looks.............
Still I wore Traditional green bangles which Married Maharashtrian ladies have to wear as per the culture.
In my daily salwars / sarees this green bangles stands out.....
But i don;t care...
We should respect / care for the society people but never allow them to overtake you ----that will destroy your identity and self respect.
So I appreciate you dear shara

 

You had narrated it well. I too have faced similar situations.

We are in such a society.(Sometimes I feel bad for blaming the society but we should accept the fact that we are also part of it)

One of the interviewers in a college, looked me up n down when I told him I got the University Rank. I was there was MBA course admission, this was a personal interview. I was dressed in one cotton salwar wearing a big spectacles. I don't know what did he think of me.

My opinion is that we are supposed to be dressed for the occassion thats it

 

Have you seen Hema malini & Rekha?? they still wear our typical south indian costume with bangles and bindis!! So wats wrong?? We need to be ourselves always!! Do not bother about these women, because they have all changed to westernised mode for the heck of it! We still have our own culture, theres nothing wrong at all!!

 

Hi,

I did face this issue and I am still facing it...

I had my schooling in abroad in Gulf... But when I am in India I prefer salwars and I rarely wear kurta with jeans... I always wear ashes and sindoor in my forehead(even before marriage) now after marriage I keep sindoor in my forehead hair parting also...

People give me a look as if I am bluffing... OMG a girl who has been abroad should not wear these...

Recently I was in US for 2 years and now I am in India, now also I am the same person.. people just give me a look as if I am aweirdo... also in US I was comfortable wearing salwar but without duppatta... for that also people made fun of me...

Crazy lot is what I will tell these people... Where ever I am in this world the minute I land in India my identity will be salwar and saree only... My policy is I dress for my comfort and not for others...

Thanks
Malar

 

very true. I have also been facing this situation for a long long time. People just cant seem to understand that education has got nothing to do with appearance. infact i had a person tell me 'oh! you speak english so well' ... what does he know about english being spoken without gramatical errors. I never lose my temper or laugh at ppl making mistakes but when they are not perfect themselves, they should refrain from commenting .... JMO

I look very traditional and wear mostly traditional clothes .... and my previous manager infact had the guts to suggest me to wear something modern if i wanted to climb the corporate ladder. I was so naive those days so just remarked telling him that i was comfortable in whatever i wore .... but given a chance today, i would have made sure that he was out of the company .....

And another contrasting senario was people from my village calling their parents as 'mummy' and 'daddy' but infact didnt know any other words beyond that. It irked me so much when those same people looked at me and commented 'dont tell me you go to work in in these chudidars' .... that was the day i decided, i am never going to change ot show i am modern just for the sake of others and my child would never ever call me mummy (i made sure he learnt to call me only amma)... i like being attached to my roots.

I still wear saree, bangles, flowers to my office and i dare people to laugh at me. I guess by now they must have gotten used to it

 

Hello I agree with your point..but let me share my personal views..

First of all official party is quite different from our own family/friends party. We need to be dressed modest according to the invited party but it doesn't mean there is a defined dress code unless specified. I've heard that some clubs where parties are held they allow the guests only in formal attire though I don't have any personal experience.

Similarly for our own traditional marriage functions we can't just go in a jeans and t-shirt or some casual modern wear which will look awkward in the crowd.

So I would suggest you to be the same because you don't have to change for someone unless you feel the situation demands. There is a good saying in tamil "edam porual yeval arinthu seiyal pada vendum" translation for others "need to act according to place/materialistic environment in which we are placed".

Coming to your actual point there is no hard and fast rule which demands that if you are educated to this level your dressing sense must change. Even I do sometimes feel left out in a big crowd but I can never be ultra modern but simple and modest look with particularly no make up...

Keep going with life!!!

 

Hi OP

I disagree to your point partially. There is also a saying "Be Roman in Rome"........ one should adapt herself/himself wherever and whatever situation they are in. If we want to dress the way we are in our villages or our home towns to a new location where we have moved is also called hipocrisy. There is nothing wrong to adapt to change suiting to new locale. If we move to a cold place, say Delhi itself or other European countries, are we not wearing the thermals and woollens or do we remain in cotton salwars? No.... right? Then where do our policy goes? Keeping flowers in head is only mostly Tamilians do and others only offer to Gods. Its also not available everywhere in other places except Madras stores or Tamil stores. If the occasion demands fine, but not required to be worn to office.

Similarly I was working in Delhi and I was the only female member in the male dominated office. I have to dress up modestly suiting to the environ and not go like mini God with full of flowers and jewels. Then came a tamil girl on temp basis, who walked thru the big office in her anklets. The sound is so irritating to me only, how can others accept. It does not sound good.

So one has to change as per the place and environ they are in. If anyone does not wish, then dont move but remain in your own place.

Best Regards
Shanti

 

Hi Shanti,

I do accept we have to be a Roman when in Rome... You are talking about extreme cases... I am talking about the normal scenariao where I wish to be an Indian when I am in India and people make fun of me saying a US return should wear jeans and kurta or t shirt etc which I call as absurd... Here it is my comfort level which is important and not a US return or my education...

When I was in US I used to wear formal pant shirt to office and jeans and shirt outside.. When I go for walk in my aprtment complex I was wearing salwar... What is wrong in that..

This is the scenario where I call the people absurd... because I am not disturbing any one and I am not violating any rule...

Thanks
Malar

 

You can never make "everyone" happy. Some will like the way you dress while others will have a problem. I think the only people one should think about in something as personal as dressing and personal style is yourself and your husband/family.

A point I would also like to make is that most people here have only commented on saris and salwars. I personally find Indian women look very nice in traditional saris draped beautifully as well as well fitted salwar suits. Although jeans has become very popular, no doubt it suits slim figures. We cannot ignore the fact that when some ladies wear western wear that are not well fitting or makes them look heavier or are not age appropriate, people do comment behind their back.

Also very successfull corporate women like Naina Lal Kidwai etc wear saris even in office.

Its not just what you wear - its how you wear it, how you accessorise and how you carry yourself that has a bigger impact.

Lastly, if someone judges you solely by what you wear, its really not worth it to have their good opinion anyway!