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Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018.

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  1. Dec 10, 2018 #11
    Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Childhood friends saying goodbye/sayonara/auf-wiedersehen etc.. etc.. is all training for that day when we'd say vidai/bidai to our own dear daughter when she tosses a handful of rice over her shoulder, as she walks out of the house (or the marriage hall we had rented) for ever.
    All girls are being trained to get ready for that day.
     
    Amulet, Dec 10, 2018
    Amulet, Dec 10, 2018
    #11
  2. Dec 10, 2018 #12
    satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    The difference here is that when we say goodbye, there is a closure. When someone dies (after lingering or suddenly) one knows it was not a choice. Sure, it would be different if it were to be a case of suicide. But when there is no proper goodbye, there is a sudden severance out of choice without any understandable reason, it is not easy.

    Anyway, if someone who claims to be growing spiritually gets so upset just because they have not been in touch for a while ..... well, what does one say? I thought BFFs should be able to pick up at any time at any point from where they left of. There is no requirement to be constantly in touch. My understanding, of course, could be wrong.
     
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    #12
  3. Dec 10, 2018 #13
    Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Quite often it might help to start with the idea that one is not all that much of a special something that some friend or acquaintance cannot get along without. The basic humility stuff. Once this is the basis, all else could be easily understood and explained.

    Anyone with a few decades of muddle on this scheme of survival--growing up, dealing with "coming of age", school, friends, job, marriage, "adjustment", children, children's schooling, spousal 7th year itches, etc. etc. -- know that it is OK to lose a few battles (or childhood friends) and still have a "full" life.

    Sometimes, one might even wish to unfriend a few more.

    It would be a grand gift if they unfriend before we did. "Hooray, it's not me, it's you, that got rid of me", is such a comfort .
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
    Amulet, Dec 10, 2018
    Amulet, Dec 10, 2018
    #13
    satchitananda likes this.
  4. Dec 10, 2018 #14
    periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    @satchitananda Satchi well written about people. As a true friend she should have asked you whether you are fine with your health or must have an impression that Satchi must have genuine reason.Giving a rude answer is not appreciated.If i find people avoiding me i just keep away from them .Let them be happy keeping space.
    Take care satchi
     
    periamma, Dec 10, 2018
    periamma, Dec 10, 2018
    #14
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  5. Dec 10, 2018 #15
    satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Amulet,

    Precisely what when I said "So I decided to let go. I have not shut the door. I know who has grown apart but not why. It is certainly not I."

    As for being the one to cut some of them off, I would certainly love to cut off some from FB whom I don't even know. Accepted them out of weakness - didn't want to be rude. Yet to find the time and determination to do that! :p
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    #15
  6. Dec 10, 2018 #16
    satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Periamma,

    Yes, let her have her space. Like I said, it was not like we were in touch for some time now and also not when she was abroad for so many years before coming to India for a decade or so. So if she now has problems, I cannot solve them ..... unless she chooses to tell me what it is really all about. Probably has some issues which she does not want to discuss? Who knows. Different folks, different strokes.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    #16
  7. Dec 10, 2018 #17
    Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    You are not a bad judge. You got to admit even people who were very close to each other tend to grow apart over years. And you can never gauge a person 100%. Humans are too complex for that . Even with people very close to us we just skim the surface.
     
    Balajee, Dec 10, 2018
    Balajee, Dec 10, 2018
    #17
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  8. Dec 10, 2018 #18
    satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    True Balajee. Looks like. Which also makes me realize that all this crap about real life friendships being better / more real than those found online is not necessarily true. At least with virtual friendships one does not have false expectations and there are also many valuable friendships to be found in the virtual world too.
     
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    #18
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  9. Dec 10, 2018 #19
    Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    This is a journy. Our fellow travellers get out and walk into oblivion when their station comes. For you, woods continue to be lovely, dark and deep. Carry on without bothering about your co-passengers!
     
    Cheeniya, Dec 10, 2018
    Cheeniya, Dec 10, 2018
    #19
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  10. Dec 10, 2018 #20
    satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for that lovely reply, CS. :)
     
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    satchitananda, Dec 10, 2018
    #20
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