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People Inviting Themselves Over

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by rosylife, Nov 12, 2018.

  1. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    My husbands cousin and wife are inviting themselves over to my house for two weeks. Neither I nor my husband want them to come and stay with us. We like our personal space. They are hinting, like they are thinking and stuff. How can we hint that we don’t like or give any other valid reason.
    We are not close enough .
     
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  2. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    So many views and no one is responding
     
  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey Rosylife,

    Tell you aren't available. Nothing wrong in that. Say something like you are travelling out of station on work or you both are taking vacation during the exact same time . You shouldn't even worry to tell a lies because if they aren't close enough , giving any damn silly reason for your non availability should work.

    Regards,
    Anusha.
     
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  4. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply Anusha.
    They are connected to other cousins around us. Like if we say we are on vacation, they will ask where we are going for two weeks.
    If we say a lie , and other cousins are close to us. Like they call us or chat with us every now and then. Even my husbands parents, might have already told them that they don’t have much plan this month.
     
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    They can't forcefully come to your place unless you show a green signal.

    Tell them that you have committed with some or the other things during this time, so you won't be free to host them this time.
    You may cite Kid's exam, extra curricular competitions, extensive classes during this time OR
    Husband's work schedule changes, high-level mission at his work place (so, unable to take leave) OR
    Some excuses like maid will be on leave, or you guys are looking for a vacation, or family visit or whatever without precisely mentioning the date. So that, you could say the travel time/vacation would be only 1-2 days during the said time, but not sure when it will happen exactly.

    This way, they can't track you through others. Don't give them explicit answers like 17th of NOv at 3.30 PM we are going to so and so place. Nope. Just tentative, vague, uncertain info covering the time they chose to visit you.

    This way, they should get the hint and keep quit.
     
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  6. peet1983

    peet1983 Silver IL'ite

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    Such things are happn in our life and sometimes we can't avoid those situation to not to break some good rapo with people. Just two weeks right, it will go just like that and you may get a wonderful time together. If the things are not worked out you can directly tell your cousins, so that he wont come up with such ideas in future.

    All the best.
    :)
     
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  7. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    You could say you have your friends/DH's friends coming to stay at your place..Dont give them exact dates, but say around that time..If your extended family / friends later come to know that no one visited, you could always say friend had to cancel plans..
     
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  8. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Be honest with them. If you don't want to entertain them, tell them it will be inconvenient for you. Don't make excuses, don't discuss why.

    If they are in the area for personal reasons (tourism, work, visiting a friend), they may simply be looking to save on hotel costs. In that case, you could offer a place to sleep, but not provide entertainment and fancy meals. Lowering khatirdari standards makes it easier on the hosts and discourages freeloaders.

    If your ILs interrogate you about it later, tell them the truth: You and the cousins are not close enough for you to host them for two weeks.

    Good luck, @rosylife!
     
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  9. kavikuyil

    kavikuyil Bronze IL'ite

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  10. kavikuyil

    kavikuyil Bronze IL'ite

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    I’d say ‘Sorry, We are just busy these days ... Let us know when you are in the area, we can probably meet up for a lunch’ (either at home or a restaurant depending on the person who’s trying to invite themselves over).
     

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