Peer pressure in all walks of life

crazywriter · Jun 10, 2010

As young teenagers, we all have faced peer pressure at some point in our lives or the other. In fact, even as adults, I am sure a lot of us face the pressure to conform to the prevalent norms. If we disagree, we get brow beaten and are labelled freaks. This fear is paramount in our minds, and we do our best to stay conventional.

We all have the need to fit in to the accepted crowd. If we get left out, it is normal for us to fell upset and hurt. Especially in the new age of communication, with channels like mobile phones, Orkut, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, among others, have made it a lot tougher for the youngsters to keep up with the popular crowd.

In a typical school or college scenario, the ‘coolest’ people will have the largest band of followers, they will be the most popular ones in the class, and in campus. They will invariably be ‘good looking’, ‘well to do’, and ‘dress cool’. I put these features within inverted commas, as they are perceptions and do not have a fixed definition. They might be wwearing ripped jeans, which is percieved as cool by some, and as rags by others, especially parents and elders.

Beside the ‘cool’ ones, there is another class of people. The hanger ons, who like to tag along with the populars, and hope that some of their popularity rubs off on them. They try to fit in the cool club, and join the cool ones in all their exploits, trying to ape them.

This leaves another category of people. The not-so-cool ones, who occupy the first bench in class, do their assignments on time, make notes, don’t take part in class parties, and are not sought out for anything other than once in the year during the exams, for notes! These neglected ones tend to be excluded from most activities, which can be painful for the sensitive ones. There are some, who are intelligent enough to realize that their friends are the most valuable relationships that are cultivated in the circumstances, in contrast with the fake friends who tag along with the cool club.

This unhealthy state of affairs is found in all spheres of life. Even at the workplace, there are the popular and charming people, and there are the ‘mousy’ ones.

In the above mentioned social networking sites, this gets magnified to a large extent. Orkut has a ‘fan’ system, where you can proclaim yourself to be a fan of your friend. The more number of fans you have shows the extent of your popularity. Apart from that, your popularity is also reflected in the number of comments you receive on your photos, and you status messages. Facebook has a system where you can ‘like’ pictures, status messages, pages, etc.

The ones who do not get much attention from their virtual friends can feel hurt and upset. If nobody comments on their status message, but comment aplenty on someone else’s, then it becomes an ego issue. It hurts the self esteem of young people, who are in the process of forming a personality. The urge or need to fit in can reach unhealthy heights.

We must impress upon youngsters that the important thing is to make lasting friendships. Fleeting friends are not worth any trouble. They must learn to treat everybody equally, and not get bogged down by a complex, either a superior or an inferior complex. And if they sadly happen not to find any good friends, then we must tell them that their parents and siblings will always support and love them. If the world does not realize their worth, it does not mean that they are not valuable.

It is not easy to find true friends who will stand by us at all times. But there are many such people in the world. And it is important to remember that a friend in need is a friend indeed!

sarajara · Jun 10, 2010

Dear CW, Can you please increase the font size? Its bit small - strainy for the eyes.

crazywriter · Jun 10, 2010

dear sarajara,
hope its better now .

varalotti · Jun 10, 2010

You have kindled my past memories, dear. When I was in college, well that was aeons ago, I was a "nerd". A not so cool one. In fact I wanted to go exactly against what was considered as cool. In my final year in college I will go to the classes with a bold namam on my forehead. At first people laughed. I made it clear either you accept me with all my extra-fittings or do not accept me.
I could not sit on the first bench because of the alphabet-wise seating system which pushed me towards the end. But I finished assignments on time, was ever-ready for the quizes, studied for the exams, never flunked classes, had never been to a movie, had never stood before a ladies' college.. not that I did not have a heart to do all those things. I loved to see movies, at least. But in those days we could not simply afford that. And there was a pressure from all sides that I had to study well and clear my exams ahead of the rest, so that my younger brothers and sister could find a way out.
Sorry for the self-indulgence. But CW, my point is that the youngsters should have the courage to what they want to do. Aping a 'cool guy' is the worst act of cowardice I can imagine.
With my age (I am 52 plus now) I have the advantage of a very clear hindsight. Most of the so called 'cool guys' are placed very ordinarily in their real lives. Most of them have not succeeded in their career. Skewed system of priorities is the culprit.
I love the way you have put across many powerful ideas for our youth. I only wish they have a chance to read it.
Continue your work,
sridhar

Pomegranite · Jun 10, 2010

I "like" this post.
>:}
Just kidding! I agree with your post.
We thought that technology would make communication better.
It just made it more superficial.
:C

crazywriter · Jun 10, 2010

dear varalotti sir,

thank you for sharing your experience with us.

and thank you for your kind words of appreciation.it helps a great deal. it is a great encouragement .

crazywriter · Jun 10, 2010

dear pomegranite,

ha ha haa!! good way of bringing out the irony .

I am glad you like my blog, thanks .

amihere · Jun 11, 2010

Dear CW...Ofcourse ofcourse ofcourse...the peer pressure,fan followers its there in every walk of life. I too happens to be in some category, but the thing is different places I will be in different categories..in PUC I was in popular category whereas in college I was in front bench category..so I really dont get on what terms do we get categorized And peer pressure is there for every other thing you do...if you decide to be yourself and not to fell into it you will be a topic to laugh about for sure..[now I am one among the victims due to my sincereity to hit gym daily ]

I 100% agree with what Sridharji said...Everyone should stand their ground...but yes PP is soemthing we cant escape from!!!

Custard · Jun 11, 2010

Hello crazyWriter,

A very nice Blog!:thumbsup
It reflects so many things that I have learnt in my life! I agree with all you said about Orkut and FaceBook. Actually, only those who are above 18, can join those sites but unfortunately many teens join them.

I'm happy that I was "me" during most of my life time. My style of dressing and everything was different(not so modern) and in both UG & PG, my friends & classmates tried to change me! But I'm lucky that I always had good friends around who valued "me" and 'my friendship" more than other things!

bril · Jun 11, 2010

A very nice post. It was almost as if i revisited college life when i read your article.

I also fall into the band of firstbenchers. Oh i could relate to everything in your article... being seated in the first few benches, not attending class parties, not hanging out with the cool gang and being the most sought after person for the notes during exams... I have seen my notes getting xeroxed over and over again from xeroxed copies. One funny incident was - i wanted to take a photocopy from some reference book.. When in the shop i noticed another person waiting to collect his. He asked the shopkeeper mentioning the name of the subject and i was interested to know if there was any other good reference book this person has.. i peep into the xerox copy and it was my handwritten notes! couldnt help laughing finding my notes with some other college student in a xerox shop 10kms away from college !!! :rotflLater realised the shopkeeper was selling it in wholesale for all the needy students because it was very neat!!

I was also a part of the singing group in college. Always used to speak out and talk to everybody regardless of whether they judged me or not. People who had initally labelled me as a 'nerd' later understood my uniqueness and accepted me the way I am... And as a result, by the end of my professional degree I had wonderful friends for life !

Thanks so much to you for this post which made me re-visit all those wonderful moments in my heart !