Senior citizen Romance.. The Proposal! He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!" The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No?' "Why you silly man, I said 'Yes, Yes I will.' And I meant it with all my heart." The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because..... I couldn't remember who asked me?"
Amnesia -Signs of aging After a meeting, Ambujam was coming out of a hotel and she was looking for her car keys. She rummaged her vanity bag .It was not there. A quick search back in the meeting room, it wasn't there too. She then realized she must have had left it in the car. Her husband had been shouting many times for her leaving car-keys in the ignition slot. Her theory was the "ignition is the right & best place not to lose the car key." Her husband theory was the car will be stolen, if key is left at the ignition slot." Ambujan rushed to the parking lot and came to a terrifying conclusion that her hubby theory was right. She saw parking lot was empty. She then called the police & gave details to them her location, description of the car, place car was parked, etc. She hesutatingly confessed that she had left car-keys in the car, and that her car had been stolen. Then she made the most difficult call of all, to her hubby, "I left car key in the car .. & and. ... and it has been stolen." There was a big silence. She thought her call had been dropped, but then she heard his firm voice. "Idiot", her hubby shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel." Now it was moment of Ambujam to observe silence. Embarrassed she and glad as well, she said, "Well, then pls come and pick me up." Hubby in retort responded sharply, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, that I have not stolen your car." So many things go haywire daily, and one can't blame others all the times.
Jump The Signal First one fellow jumped the traffic signal. Behind him five more followed the signal jump Police left the first but caught and issued challans to the other five All the 5 questioned the police how you left the first one Inspector told he is our marketing staff. He will come back and jump the signal again and another 4 or 5 like you will be caught. We have to achieve our annual target March ending special drive.
Credit to Forbidden Island Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.” Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later, the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Honey, did we pay the car bill this month?” “No, sweetheart,” she responds. Still shaken from the crash landing, he then asks, “Did we pay our credit card bill yet?” “Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says. “One last thing, did you remember to pay the medical bill for the hospital visit last month?” he asks. “Oh, forgive me, sweetheart,” begged the wife. “I didn’t send that one, either.” The husband grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 50 years. She pulls away and asks him, “What was the hug for?” The husband answers, “They’ll find us!”…
GUN OF GRANNY An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car - NOW!" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her own car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The Sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing! He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. Moral of the story? If you're having a senior moment...make it memorable!
Indoctrination By Default On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read the newspaper. Suddenly, in a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest: "Do you know what arthritis is?" The parish priest thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied: "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly loose women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say." The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper. A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too harsh on the drunk, tried to soften his words: "How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
