Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Thyagarajan, Oct 22, 2020.
BOSS & FOOD
READ OR STUDY
BOOK IS REQUIRED
A Lie Detector Robot
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slapped people when they lied. He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
At the table, he asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching "dirty stuff".
Dad says,"What? At your age I didn't even know what "dirty stuff" was." The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "after all, he is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot is now for sale.
Commotion In Mid-air A turbanwalla - a Mr T shifts from economy to first class seat in mid- flight to New Delhi. The flight attendant noticed this from a distance. She approached T and asked him to show his ticket.
Upon inspecting the ticket, she told T that he must get back to economy seat as he had paid only for that seat.
T said "I am businessman and I would stay only in this seat".
The Flight attendant goes into cockpit and informs Pilot & co-pilot that a turbanwala sitting in first class, though his ticket is for ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HIS SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE T AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE he ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY, HE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO his economy seat.
T REPLIES, “ I'm i’am a big business man, I'm going New Delhi & I am staying right here."
The co-pilot conveys this to lady pilot. The co-pilot further adds "we should have Police WAITING upon landing to ARREST THIS Mr T who won't listen to reason.
THE LADY PILOT SAYS, "you say he is a turbanwala?
I will handle this, I am married to a turbanwala. I speak easily their tongue." She goes back to mr T & whispers in his ear .
"Oh, I'm sorry" AND GETS UP AND goes back to his seat IN ECONOMY.
The flight attendant & co-pilot stood amazed & asked Her what she had SAID TO MAKE mr T to shift without any fuss.
"I told T "FIRST CLASS is not GOING TO New Delhi."
NEVER SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM
NEVER SWALLOW YOUR CHEWING-GUM
HANG BY PROFESSION
RAVANAWhy are there mostly
10 tablets in one
Well, it's an ancient tradition.
It all began when Raavan OF sri Lanka. When he was on course flying with abducted ma-Sita he started having splitting head(s)ache !!
Getting OlderLaugh it out
Have a good chuckle
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers..
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the 'John' and renamed it the 'Jim'. I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this morning".
Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights" I'm just very wise.
Don't ever ask me to bend down and touch my toes. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators We haven't met yet.
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes when I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager)
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
- I don’t have to go to school or work.
- I have a driver’s license and my own car.
- I get an allowance - pension - every month.
- I have my own ipad (although I can't recall where I kept it)
- I don’t have a curfew.
Life is great.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering…did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?