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Pathetic Woman Buying Flowers For Herself

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Rihana, Aug 8, 2020.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    I have never bought flowers for myself, though I did the same for many others on different occasions.
    I love flowers, and I sometimes buy them to keep in the flower Vase at home or perhaps to decorate the prayer room etc. Never for myself!
    Oh. yes! I did buy flowers a few times when I was in India to keep them in hair - which is a different case!

    Coming back to your question.... I don't feel anything good about buying flowers for myself. Because these flowers are like awards. They must be given by others in the name of love, appreciation or recognition.
    And that makes a beautiful memory.
    It doesn't feel good to buy an award shield for yourself na? Same goes to flowers too!

    Btw, Sometimes back I used the word "Pathetic" to explain a marriage function of a dying girl, who seemed extremely tired & exhausted due to her sickness (lung cancer) and was in her death bed by then.
    I wondered whether these dying patients really want such lavish weddings by knowing the fact that they won't be living their marriage life. I wondered whether these dying patients were in fact, in a stable mental condition to consent for such a huge decision?
    Because once I was in my death bed, and I hardly even checked on my newborn kid (who was just 1 month old then), leave it about thinking or wanting something special, that would force me get up from the bed, change to a new cloth, hairdos etc... when I can't even breath to live normally. Pathetic was the word that came to my mind, had someone forced me to wear a wedding dress & 2-3 hrs of makeup for a photo shoot that time.

    But it was just me, and I was wondering whether anyone seriously want such big events at dying conditions or it is their near/dear ones who "decide" on behalf of the dying ones, by thinking that is of the best interest?
    That was my question, and I used the word pathetic to describe these dying men and women who are "made" to celebrate big events in such a dire medical conditions, as it seemed really pathetic to me.

    But many members from IL started bashing, just because of the word pathetic despite of reading my detailed descriptions...
    Thanks to the Mods, who stood neutral and understood my concerns.

    Anyway, it is a word of caution.... Be wise when you are using such words here!
     
    Rihana and Thyagarajan like this.
  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Rihana,

    I think that is such a wonderful ritual you had at work, no matter the Erics of the world!

    This seems a true transition that happens in many of us. I have been a recepient of the goodness from others like yourself :) That said, I do think 'this' need not replace 'that'.

    It is not the question of you deserve better or not, if flowers bring you joy, you shold simply get them. And you are right, unless you do things that bring you joy, how can you contruibute to the happiness of the rest of the family - it simply becoms a sacrifice and they are made with bigger things for bigger things in life :) So enjoy your flowers!

    As for me, I still wonder about how we twin. I love flowers, but I donot hesitate to buy some for myself, many a time from the discounted price section even! The cheer they bring cannot be replaced. As soon as I enter a grocery store, it is the flower section I spend sometime in before i head in the general direction of what is needed. Thank fully, DD realizes how much I enjoy and makes it a point to buy some and I can see her nudging her brother and asking him to choose for me when they go on 'their' grocery shopping spree!
     
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  3. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    In India, specially in Chennai, this may not be a problem because everyone buys flowers just to adorn themselves or adorn the divine pictures. at home.It is not a subject matter at all to consider whether it is wrong to buy flowers for personal use. There is no doubt that flowers look more beautiful on plants and stay longer while in plants.But for making garlands they have to be plucked.Garlands have an artistic look and craftsmanship of the garlandmaker is well evident.

    jayasala42
     
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  4. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    There is no sin in giving and accepting a bouquet. On the other hand it is a virtue. Above all, horticulture is business and gives direct and direct employment to millions of people. And sometimes it is too late to know what a sin is. hahaaha
     
    Rihana, ashima10, Thyagarajan and 2 others like this.
  5. kaluputti

    kaluputti Gold IL'ite

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    I also belong to the clan of 'flowers look the best on the plants'...but I agree that growing, making bouquets,garlands etc has given daily sustenance to many. In tamil culture wearing flowers is an auspicious matter, and the fragrance and the medicinal effect is appreciated very much...I even look forward to the normalcy in Chennai, post covid , ...when the regular flower vendor woman sits on the steps of the verandah, just outside our window, measuring, portioning and packing of flowers for her customers in the apartment block..and the resulting pleasant fragrance of panneer roses, jasmines etc..filling the entire area...:thumbup:
     
  6. girvani

    girvani Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Rihana,

    I certainly buy flowers for me once a week and I love looking at them every single moment when I pass the vase. Initially, I need to come over the hurdle of feeling that plucking a flower is killing them and I used to feel sad to think that flowers would have had a long time if they were not in my vase. However, the urge of having a flower for me defended my thoughts that they have already been plucked and waiting at the shop, so why not buy? I loved your post and reading the comments by other illites.

    Vani
     
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana,

    Buying flowers and making flower arrangements at home indirectly builds creativity, mental peace, and harmony. In 2001, I left a lucrative job that I had in hand to test waters to build my own investment banking firm. It took 2 years to build a solid business. Those two years, I felt as though I was a fish out of water. We were living out of our savings and I had the greatest sense of insecurity in my life. Suddenly from 12-14 hour workday to almost virtually 3-4 hours of work every day. It was painful and I was paying attention to small things at home giving tough time to my wife as well.

    Eventually, I came up with an idea. My wife had bought a multilayer small bottle and a clear glass set. I cleaned it up nicely in water until it was so beautiful. I went and bought some beautiful Roses and Carnations in beautiful colors and started decorating it once in every 2-3 days until the flowers got dry. We both used to do it with keen interest and waited for that opportunity to work together to do something constructive. As luck would have it, soon after we started doing this, the business started picking up only for us to leave that habit. I wish we continue doing that.
     
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  8. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    I was reading somewhere about birds and flowers having the courage for reaching the sun. But that they can do only in their natural surroundings. Birds in cage and flowers in vase get deprived of that freedom. Having said that, both horticulture and bird selling are businesses giving employment to millions.
    I however, I love indoor plants. It is difficult to maintain them but it is worth the trouble.
     
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  9. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Silver IL'ite

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    ohh man I see these people everywhere ... they are just mean and bitter. Some Indians too in the line.. "tum kya apne liye le rahi ho ..?" followed by giggles. Very annoying bunch of people.

    But maybe in India, the culture of buying flowers for oneself is acceptable. Here, it is equivalent to eating in a restaurant alone. Or purchasing a ring for ourselves.

    But if we want something and if it makes us happy, we should be able to get it for ourselves, right? If not, what is the purpose of all the hardwork and earnings and just life itself? Some times, just cant understand the mentality of such bullies. What is it that they are trying to do? Asking us not to buy flowers for ourselves? Or get someone to get me flowers? do they lead a perfect life? Can I question it? Do I WANT to question it? Who defines perfect? The series of questions goes on.

    Get the damn flowers for yourself. You can and you wil
     
  10. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    If buying flowers for myself makes me pathetic, then surely I want to be pathetic.
    I was once a "flowers look nicer on trees" kinda person, not anymore. Only a couple of years back I realised the beauty of having fresh flowers around me. Till then I used for pujas. or when we expected guests home. Last year , we moved to a different floor at work ( the whole team) . I bought stalks of flowers for everyone and that pleased everyone - even the guys were busy selecting which colours they want. Since then, I have carried a couple of stalks to work every other week. In office enviroment, they can last almost 2 weeks.

    Covid has brought a halt to this situation :-( Again a timely reminder for me to get this started , at least at home. Something about looking at flowers that makes one forget the worries/irritation even if only for a few moments. And then carry on with life .
     
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