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Parents position in sibling rivalry

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Srisen, Jun 26, 2013.

  1. Srisen

    Srisen New IL'ite

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    Generally what stands will parents take when their 2 daughters are against each other. I had an intercaste marraige ( 4 yrs back) and my sister n her hubby are against it and are against me till date.

    My parents are good , but doesnt know whom to support in certain situations. I see my mother is so biased on my sister and prefers her on many occasions.

    This worries me a lot. What to do..?
     
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  2. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    there is really nothing you can do other then being civil & cordial.just stay in touch with everyone.

    as parent one can have favourite child & the ignored child really can't do anything to change that attitude.
    if they are down right rude then you must stand for yourself & your hubby otherwise ignore small things.
     
  3. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    Your sister might also be feeling that your parents favor you in some aspects.

    I think parents should be neutral enough and keep the matters separate if there is no chance of reconciliation. You should also try to refrain from any ugly situation so that your parents could be at peace..!!
     
  4. hotchillipepper

    hotchillipepper Gold IL'ite

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    Time heals many things. Your sister will also get over the marriage stuff. Dont stress your parents to play referee for you both. It will just make relationship between you two worst. When you want talk to her do it on your own or wait till the right time comes.
     
  5. Endlesshope

    Endlesshope Platinum IL'ite

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    You parents are ok with your marriage no???? So what exactly is that , that worries you????
     
  6. Srisen

    Srisen New IL'ite

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    Thanks friends. "just stay in touch with everyone" - this is the most difficult part for me when i am hurt.

    Endlesshope - Yeah they are fine with the marraige, but not ale to balance with both daughters. for ex - if i go home for diwali - my sister will not come..and my mother will feel n cry that she did not come which will make my visit there uncomfortable. So i generally pack up and leave very soon.

    This situation happened this summer vacation and i came off from my parents place and havent spoken to them for more than a month now. They tried calling me a few times and left it there.

    Not sure on what i should do now.
     
  7. uma321

    uma321 Platinum IL'ite

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    Srisen,

    Did you try talking to your sister about this? Did she faced any issues with her in laws due to your marriage? (our system is that crazy.).

    Try to understand why she is still against it. Sibling rivalry is very tough to handle by parents.
     
  8. Srisen

    Srisen New IL'ite

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    Uma - My sister is completely out of touch with me. I haven't seen her for past 4 yrs. She ignored me completely.
    Her hubby is a egoistic person and i believe he has forced her to ignore me.

    Her in laws talk with me when i meet them in any functions.
     
  9. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    It appears that you feel guilty of marrying for love and somehow feel that your sis is better as she had an arranged marriage.
    You opted for love marriage and are happy with your choice , why bother if your sis is annoyed?
    Probably you are feeling leftout though parents are trying their best to be normal.
    Stop comparing with your sis, at least your parents have accepted your choice.
     
  10. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    I dont understand why your sister should have a problem with your having had a love marriage , unless she funded it! Your life, your choice , stick by that and ignore anyone who is not happy!
     

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