Hello I need help/advise from parents whose kids are now adults (who are born and brought up in USA). How do you deal with your adult kid (age 22) who have boyfriend/girlfriend? They just graduated from college working in good company. It's cultural difference. I don't want to be controlling, orthodox but just worry about daughter's future. Do you allow live in relationship to your adult kids?
I would love to know some suggestions too. My kids are 23 and 19. I get paranoid when I think of this. But best to stay open to what happens. I have been talking to my kids about talking care of parents [which is us] when old. The problems that come with adapting to 2 different cultures. I have had people tell me that they are upset after marrying into a different religion. Love is blind when you are young but when you have kids, it is difficult to raise them. They will be confused with 2 different cultures to follow and not know which one to adapt closely to.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." This quote resonates deeply with me and guides my daily life. I've come to understand that while many aspects of our lives are shaped by destiny, it's also important to take an active role in guiding and supporting our children." As a parent of adult children who were born and raised in the USA, I can empathize with your concerns. It's natural to worry about our children's future, especially when it comes to relationships and cultural differences. While it's important not to be controlling or overly orthodox, we must also provide them with guidance and ensure they understand our perspective. When it comes to allowing live-in relationships, I believe in the importance of: Open Conversation: Engage in honest and open discussions with your daughter. Share your concerns and listen to her perspective. This can help you both understand each other better and find common ground. Advising with Love: Offer advice about the world and the potential challenges of such relationships. Help her see the bigger picture and the possible implications of her choices. Mutual Understanding: Strive to reach a common understanding that respects both her independence and your values. It's important for children to understand their parents' concerns and the reasons behind them. Guidance and Support: While it's essential to respect their autonomy, it's equally important to provide them with the necessary support and guidance. This balance can help them make informed decisions. Ultimately, while we should not let go of everything our children want, we should also not impose our will on them. It's about finding a balance where they feel supported and understood, and where they also respect and understand our concerns. Maintaining a loving and supportive relationship through open communication is key to navigating these cultural differences and ensuring their well-being.
good topic. i have a 18 who is in college. i worry the same. i did bring similar topic , kinda of pulling her leg on arranged marriage. she was not very happy to talk on that route. but i guess it is worth talking about things like mutual goals. what your child is looking. health topics like physical bonding. pregnancy. finances. emotional connection and if there is a plan for commitment. i am not really sure when they are living outside and working there is much control . it is better to accept and discuss such instead of conflicts like control. also this is not usa problem. it is happening a lot in India also.
@Rihana is expected to reassume charges and we would have her dispassionate analysis which helps others deliberate!
