Parents and In-Laws

can u and ur H come forward in planning fixed chores for mil, u and ur mom and men at home, so that there will be no confusion, and all work load doesn't go to one or two people.

may be morning BF + coffee by u, night cooking mil, lunch by ur mom as she stays at home in the afternoon, all can cook big quantities and save in refrigerator, for busy days

ur H can take care of one kid after coming from work and u can take care of one kid and u four can spend time together while giving bath to kids, and playing/spending with kids so u can give break to ur mom.

 

Dear friend,
First I like to tell you , do not expect the advice as you like.I can not give that. I want to give you the advice which will solve your problem.

What you have written is nothing when compare with the other problems. If you are little stronger you can easily come over this.

Inlaws domination is more. Am I right? Its quite rare if they do not dominate. So take it easy. They did not become your parents still they are inlaws. Thatsall.

Its painful to see our parents like that. Reason is your attachment with your parents. Take it in the positive sense. Your mother is providing food to your MIL who is working there.The problem is you are asking yourself, when our mother is cooking how she could sit? No. It makes the situation worse. We have to face each other next moment. Rt? If we leave it, automatically she will change.

Then you have mentioned, she is spoiling your son. Its not like that. The way she handling may be different from yours. Leave it. he is child. We should not confuse. When the time comes we can tell him what is good and what is bad and do & donts.

You have not mentioned that they are insulting, shouting like that. So if you dont mind automatically the situation change. Then our parents came here for temporary. So instead of the part of the problem, be the part of the solution.

Whatever you do the damage is on both sides. Hurted people only hurt others. Be the heal rather be hurting.

Count your blessings. Be positive. Be grateful to god when compare with the people worse than us. Thats wise.

As Deepak Chopra said, what you expect, give that first.You will get twice you give.

Silence and patience are more powerful weapons. Kindly have that. Because once the relationship is broken , very difficult to paste.

The arrows coming out of the row, and the words coming out of mouth, will never go without damaging the aimed.

So just think over. Nothing to worry. Keep your mind positive, present, calm & quiet.

Just ignore if i am wrong.

 

Your baby is almost 3 months old. And it is your second baby. Which probably means you are somewhat recovered from your delivery and progressing to be normal.
As per your post, your mother takes good care of your child. So, you are free from that end; hence you can concentrate well.

Now, your MIL and others at home are working. So, they will be probably tired after coming home; hence need rest.
Your mom will also be tired, provided she takes care of the child all day along. Again, MIL and mom are old age people, who can easily get tired according to their age.

It is your home, your child and you are the one who needs help. Accept whatever the available help from anyone who could offer to you.

If MIL cooks some side dish, take it as a support. If mom looks after the kid, and cooks something, then that is great.
See what FIL could complement from his end.

But you are the one along with your husband for the overall works to be done at your house. You are not a patient, you don't need special care or special rest just because you delivered a child.

So, get up. Help your mom at kitchen. Help your MIL when she comes back from work.
Give some breaks to your mom as she is supporting you very much.

Bring your husband to share the chores with you. Probably he would be happy to help you out at the kitchen, rather than helping your mother.

If at all, you can't manage, hire a paid helper.

Don't expect elders to do so much, just because you have delivered a kid.

 

OP...there are six adults in the house and two small children to be looked after.

Your mom is taking care of children (with your father's help I think) and cooking.She needs a bit of help from some one.

Your mil is working and coming back and making dinner...she is doing her bit.

You are working and I am assuming coming back and helping out mil at home with dinner and your mother by taking care of child....So you are doing your bit.

Your husband goes to work,comes back.....he needs to be given some work. Let him do something like laundry ,bathing the older child and putting the child to sleep.

The two grand fathers should take care of the older child between them .Give them children's books to read to your child,toys to engage the child. They should take turns to take the child to the park,play school...thus reliving some workload from your mother.

On weekends...look to make brunch instead of breakfast and lunch.
Once of twice a week....order food at home thus giving every one a break.

There are three people earning in the house with three paychecks. Engage a maid or weekly cleaning service for house cleaning.

Ignore your mil's childrearing advice...neither you nor she is the regular care giver.As long as she is not giving the advice to your mother,just ignore.Like you ,she is also a working women and may be a bit off at the end of the day.

 

same here....

 

Dont worry twilightstar. Nothing to worry about it. You have tried each and every way for your child . As a mother you are doing your duty. Then whats there to stress. No dear. My sister in law is very healthy and conscious about her health always. She was also delivered a baby in Newjercy. U dont believe me even a single drop of breast milk was not there. What do you say for that.
Something is not in our hands.We cant whatever science we have. Thats gos power. So dont take it serious. From the day1 she was giving bottle food.Now Aadhithi is great.
Your child also become great. Dont stress yourself. I will pray for you.
Do your duty leave the rest to God.
Bye.