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Parenting

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by RadiantCat, May 2, 2010.

  1. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    There's this thread Unimaginable situation - help that has prompted me to start this new one.

    The girl is a confused desi that's in discussion. She's exposed to the west as well as the east and has taken her desicion to marry.

    As parents would it not be feasible to sense the girl has someone else in her life?
    Is parenting only giving food, education and so many other comforts is it not to do with feeling and sensing which will talk volumes?
     
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  2. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Well ideally, parents should be able to sense their kids relationships and not throw a hissy fit about it. However these rules do not seem to apply to majority of parents in India.

    And no, parenting is not just providing food, education and all other rubbish but being able to understand and have a cordial relationship with your kids other than saying 'We provide you this, this and this so we expect you to dance to all our looney tunes and comply with all our whims and fancies that has to do with your life'.

    The example you cite is a very bizarre case and I am yet to understand certain details of it. What is the mum doing in Europe, a grown up daughter who is allegedly a British National doing in India with dad and then they are all planning to move to Arabia? (well, I read something like that).

    Anyways, its an example of overprotective and over controlling parents who try to run their grown up children's lives.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2010
  3. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Good question CanWait. It is feasible.

    Dad & mom, if they are close to the child, they can easily monitor them and find out the differences in their behavior if the child is in love. Though you cannot read her mind, you can definitely read her activities. Anyone can do that. First of all, phone calls would increase and secondly he/she will spend more time outside home. If parents come forward and ask the child with a smile "What is going on in your life dear?", half the problem is over.

    Suddenly, a girl is going away from the family and getting married....even the parents are to be blamed here.

    Even I am in love. I am proud to have a mom who really told me when I entered college "If you like someone and if you are confident about the guy, do tell me. I am not against love." I didn't even understand what is love at that age. When I felt, my mom was the first person with whom I shared my feeling. She also respects my guy for his commitment towards me and gave us enough space. In fact, me and my mom always fight like cat & mouse.....regarding my career. That is the only point where we don't meet and create problems. Some differences even makes the relationship interesting. :wink:
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2010
  4. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    Mal, There's this one point from that thread that I am unable to come to terms with. The mother is a globetrotter and the dad takes care of the family. That's how I read it. The daughter is a British National and all of them are moving to Arabia.

    The most intriguing part is, the mother is pouring out her histrionics on a public forum but is refusing to rush to India to bring the situation under control.

    This one act just talks volumes and proves only her ego is hurt and her emotions or the so called "death threats" are only theatrics and nothing beyond.

    I just put myself in her place and if I had had a daughter that had eloped; and I get the news. I'd cancel the contract and rush to India. Isn't that the motherly reaction?

    A mother would drop everything to abyss and would run to her children's aid. The strange case is the dad and daughter are traveling to Europe. Now, what Geneva conference are they going to have? Unless the lady works with a secret agency, she cannot move out at the drop-of-the-hat. Contrarily, she can go on loss-of-pay if needed. Based on what she has written it doesn't appear as if she's on a secret mission.

    The dad contrarily is in a state of shock. Yes, that's indeed the right reaction. Any normal Indian dad would have given a tight slap to the daughter for the rude behavior.

    It is not only the locational details are quite puzzling. The lady says the son-in-law makes 20 K in a shop in India. No grocery shop or any quid shop pays 20 K to a shop-boy. Maybe he works in some small time company.

    The lady would have dreamt of getting her daughter married to someone from a premier institute with ultimate status and accolades. The daughter has brought home a simpleton.

    This is not the only case, there was this famous NOIDA double murder case. Arushi Talwar and Hemanth. Nupur Talwar, vehemently made a statement that she and her husband were fast asleep and did not know the daughter was murdered in the next room. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noida_double_murder_case.

    There's something called as motherly instincts in all the mothers; irrespective of the genus. What happened to these instincts?
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2010
  5. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Maybe monetary instincts supersede motherly instincts since the whole theme of that case ultimately seems to boil down to that :)

    A dad can slap his 24 yr old daughter? LOL Well you heard only one side of the story and I am pretty sure there is another side of the story, which is the daughter's side. If you carefully read thru that thread, the daughter came home to introduce her fiance to the dad but evidently he was not in the mood to see him. But that all changed when the daughter decided to do her own thing and then the dad found some auto rickshaw in the middle of the night to go the boy's place. So as you can see, there is clearly another side to the story.

    But it is easy to peddle the selfless parents and ungrateful daughter story as that seems to be a bestseller for majority of the target audience. Throw in some histrionics and high drama, you got most of the audience captivated and have their undivided attention and unconditional moral support.
     
  6. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    Mal, you have a point. The lady did bring the man to the house. There's always another side of the story.

    Something that I am always intrigued with is several of them come with such high tension problems. They never say what they did to annihilate the situation but want people to help them. This indicates they want others to literally live and solve their problems. I hate such people.
     
  7. archana.kc

    archana.kc Gold IL'ite

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    Mals and CW,

    Any particular reason why you could not talk all this about the mother-daughter eloping story in that thread itself? You can have a gazillion perspectives, and each and every one of it can point to the mother being without instincts, or the father ruthlessly slapping the girl. In any case, it is best you guys talk it in that thread. In fact, the party is there to answer and you will probably find answers to their globe trotting story, if you ask it all there.

    "This indicates they want others to literally live and solve their problems. I hate such people."

    I also wonder, why people answer a question, think about it so much to start a discussion and say they hate such people. Sorry, if I was rude, but honestly - don't you have a option to skip it?. And yes, everyone hates such people. Not just you CW.

    Arch
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
    orion80 likes this.

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