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Parenting A Teenage Girl - Talking About Dating

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by Angela123, May 22, 2025.

  1. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi!!! It’s been a while! I have an almost 14 year old middle schooler going into high school soon. Kids in her class are dating, when I say dating pretty much regular dates every weekend, watching games or hanging out at homes. We haven’t had any of that yet and I know my daughter likes a boy and probably want to hang out with him. Have anyone encountered this before around this age for their kids and how did you handle. I want to tell her no, but I understand is natural to have attractions at this age, I also don’t want to hold her back or control her too much. This is such young age. My husband seems to be chill about this and he says once she is in high school there is going to be plenty of this scenario ( wanting to go on a date/dinner etc) will come up. I really can’t get my head around how to allow hangouts but at the same time have some control over this. Please share your wisdom!
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey Angela, good to see a post from you after so long! How've you been? I swear I thought of you each time my neighbor baked and sent a cake in the pandemic. : )

    "I also don’t want to hold her back or control her too much."
    " I really can’t get my head around how to allow hangouts but at the same time have some control over this
    "

    You are on the right track - want to guide and protect her without overdoing it. Try ChatGPT for sample conversations to have with her. I just did a quick question to ChatGPT, it gave me sample conversations ,and then offered "do you want a dad-style version?" : )
     
  3. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you for thinking about me! I am doing good, job change raising a toddler and a teen and several other things, I have no time these days. Toddler is more of a handful than teen. Stopped baking mainly because the husband and I got into workouts, and healthy eating and high protein diet. So only special occasion cakes now☺️.
    I already talked with the teen a little bit about dating - but the conclusion was she is too young. I used ChatGPT for that obviously. She seems to be understanding. However, from what she didn’t say and guessing from my intuition, I have reasons to suspect she wants to date a boy who said he likes her. Her school has mostly American kids, whose parents dated and married. Me and my Husband had an arranged wedding, I never dated in my life to offer her any advice. What kind of supervised settings does nowadays parents provide? A walk in the park? Movie? One of my colleague said make it a group activity. But don’t we have to find enough people to do this?
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Make sure you talk to her about safety, especially if she is going to be in larger gatherings where she might not know everyone. If she is over the age of consent then have a frank conversation about sex. You can chat with some of the other moms in her class to get an idea of what kids are doing. And let her know that you will be a judgement-free zone for her no matter what.
     

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