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Paradigm Shift

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by GeetaKashyap, Jun 4, 2018.

  1. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Part 1 of 3


    Wiping the sweat from her brow Kamala walked into the veranda and found her husband Narendra, dozing in his easy chair, with the newspaper still in his hands. It was around eleven in the morning. The heat was picking up. October heat in the coastal area is really awful. She looked around and sighed aloud thinking of the olden days when their surroundings had only bungalows. Now multi-storied buildings surrounded their plot allowing hardly any air circulation. Earlier along with her mother-in-law, she took great pride in maintaining a large flower and vegetable garden. Now shrubs and weeds had overgrown around their house. They had not maintained their place. Kamala and Narendra’s poor health did not allow them to work on their garden anymore. They couldn’t afford a regular help either. The tall coconut trees stood still like sentinels participating in an army drill. A lone crow was cawing annoyingly. She wondered how her husband could sleep so peacefully in that still air. She then realised that she had been working in the kitchen since morning and that had made her feel terribly sweaty. As softly as possible she switched on the fan, but being close to an antique in age, it started growling; it made more noise with each spin and circulated very little air in return. In annoyance, she switched off the fan. The fan noise disturbed her husband and woke him. Apologetically she looked at him and the fan, grumbling about heat. He just looked at her and started snoring again. Kamala was now definitely irritated and cursed her bad luck.


    *************************************************************************************


    She remembered her days before their marriage. With a large bindi on her forehead and crispy cotton sarees whenever Kamala stepped out of her house, her mother used to be wary of unwanted attention her beautiful daughter would attract. Shalini was Kamala’s best friend. Both the girls studied in the same college. Shalini was neither beautiful nor good in studies. When Kamala was in the final year of college her parents started ‘groom hunting’. A good proposal from a middle-class Bank Clerk was almost finalised as their lineage was very good. Shalini had congratulated Kamala and Shalini’s mother had requested Kamala’s mother to pass on other marriage proposals which did not suit Kamala, for Shalini. When Kamala’s parents were about to formalise the proposal, another proposal came by for Kamala. This groom was a Civil Engineer. He was the only son of rich parents with their own bungalow at Dahisar, a distant far-flung western suburb of Bombay (Mumbai). Kamala’s parents were very impressed with the new proposal and they immediately finalised Kamala’s marriage with Engineer Narendra. Kamala’s mother passed on the Bank Clerk’s proposal to Shalini’s mother. In no time, Shalini’s marriage was finalised with that Bank Clerk. Within a month’s difference, both Kamala and Shalini got married. Kamala moved to Bombay (Mumbai) and Shalini to Kolhapur. Now thirty-five years later, Kamala stayed in the same old bungalow with her retired husband. Kamala’s family could only afford a modest lifestyle with strictly no budget for anything else. Their bungalow walls were cracking and would collapse anytime. Their house had not seen paint for almost a decade. It was last painted just before their daughter, Priti’s wedding. Priti worked for a film production house and now stayed at Malad with her husband and child. Kamala’s son Aniket too was a Civil Engineer like his father and he had set up his own contracting firm. He was earning just enough to eke out a living. On the other hand, Shalini’s husband retired as a very senior bank official. They had a spacious flat at Bandra, a rich locality in the Mumbai’s western suburbs and Shalini’s children had settled in the land of opportunities, the USA. Shalini was now a society woman who went abroad every year and had hired servants to do all the household work. Last month when Shalini met Kamala to invite her for the Diwali party, Kamala had felt like a country cousin. Kamala knew that she would be a misfit in Shalini’s circle of rich friends. Kamala gave some excuses and avoided the party. Kamala had nothing to show off or say. Under such circumstances, Kamala had felt that being away from everyone was the best solution to all her dilemmas.

    At the time of marriage, Narendra worked for some private firm. Later he worked for some reputed builders. Had he wanted, he could have made a lot of money. But his lack of worldliness, ego in the guise of honesty and straightforwardness, brought him problems at the workplace. In a fit of anger, he had resigned from the job. As he was employed in the private sector he was not even getting the pension. When Aniket was to join the Engineering College, Narendra wanted Aniket to take up Civil Engineering as he planned to start his own contracting business in future, with his son. Even in this business, guided by his father, Aniket often failed to get meaty contracts. Rampant bribing was something the father would not allow; moreover they did not even have that kind of money to give away as bribes. Aniket would set out in the morning on his bike and return only at night. Most often he returned with the news of his failure to get good contracts or some such similar frustration. Since the whole burden of running the household was now on Aniket, often he spoke to his father about redeveloping their property by joining hands with some builder so that they would be better off financially and some new business ventures could be explored. Narendra was against it. He often spoke proudly about the commercial potential of his ancestral property and he wanted to develop the property all by himself. Aniket knew this was impossible with the escalating costs and bribes. But Narendra was stuck in a world of his own. Often this difference in perception led to cold war between the father and the son. Kamala would at such times sigh and nod in agreement, with both of them, as she did not want to aggravate the situation any further. The unsteady business had also delayed Aniket’s marriage plans. He was already thirty. He would often say, “I don’t want one more female to suffer in silence, in this house.”


    ************************************************************************************


    Kamala’s reverie was broken suddenly when she felt some movement under the bushes. Kamala saw a snake and she froze for a moment! Their old home was already a home for cockroaches, spiders, bugs, lizards and rats and now a snake too had come to reside! Kamala’s irritation turned into panic. Quickly she shook her husband and woke him up.

    ”There is a SSSnake in the compound!” she screamed.

    (End of Part 1 of 3.)
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  2. Archanaanchan

    Archanaanchan IL Hall of Fame

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    Lively and lovely write up Geetha:grinning:
    This makes me think of missed opportunities and realise the fact that one can never predict the future based on present. Today one's life might not be better than someone else but over a period of time nothing is guaranteed. There's a wheel that you are stuck in . You revolve along it unaware that you are bound .

    Kamala should accept her present and be contended and happy that she lives a better life than many others.

    Waiting to read more.....
     
    Thyagarajan, NeetaR, sindmani and 2 others like this.
  3. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for the first fb. Yes, life is very unpredictable.
     
    Thyagarajan and sindmani like this.
  4. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    Very practical and matured writing @GeetaKashyap and your characters walk and live among us (I have always noticed so). As I read, I could think of many people who could be associated with each one of them - be it Kamala or Shalini or Narendra or even Aniket!

    Nailing words! Such people often hide their inability behind these noble masks and often, they themselves start believing that and live in their fantastic world, its the family that sees the reality and suffers.
     
  5. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you, dear Rajeni, for this analytical fb. This helps me to polish and improvise my work.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  6. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

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    Very good writing as always! Liked it : )
    Like the way you make us travel along the story every time!
    I think many many people can relate to this scenario!
    And your writing is fresh and genuine! : )
    Keep writing! Good day : )
     
  7. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you so much. When fiction writers like you and Rajeni analyse, I get to learn a lot from your experience. Feedbacks teach, encourage and revitalise creative pursuits.
     
    IniyaaSri and Thyagarajan like this.
  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@GeetaKashyap
    You have built up the characters of two successive generation with inhibitions, self limiting olds vs optimistic young. Let us see further progress and development in subsequent part or parts which has now come up to hissing sssssnake in the garden-bush.

    2. Breaking into more paragraphs would perhaps facilitate easy reading for android and I pad users. Wish you Godspeed for your fictional venture .

    3. Any story involving practices and habits of oldgen vs nextgen offers tremendous scope and opportunities for excellent narration blending with modern fiction. A Thomas Hardy vs Harold Robbins. A Jane Austin vs Mills & Brown or Boon. A Ken Follet vs The bard Shakespeare.
    4. Prevailing weather perhaps blend with a character’s agony, breeze with rejoicing moment, a cloudy weather with isolated DIL, Etc., as seen effectively used by Thomas Hardy and the Bard.
    5. So far no images impregnated to the thread - wonder why!
    Thanks and Regards.
    God grant us Godspeed in our earnest endeavour.
     
    Rihana, Frangipani and GeetaKashyap like this.
  9. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks, @Thyagarajan Sir. Points noted. Just decided to do away with the old practice of using suitable images to tell the story. Two more parts to go; shall I add the images?:) I am a visual person and would definitely love inserting a suitable image.
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: I do believe apt positioning of the relevant image in any part of the story that conveys the emotive part would inspire & might turn mere viewers to read the story.
    2. Thanks for noting my observations.
    Regards.
    God grant us Godspeed in our earnest endeavour.
     
    GeetaKashyap likes this.

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