Pakistan is the true creator of Star Wars!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vmur, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. vmur

    vmur Silver IL'ite

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    Disclaimer : All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This is not meant to hurt the religious sentiments of any group.

    NSN <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:City><st1:place>Karachi</st1:place></st1:City>, May 18


    In a stunning development, a film maker from <st1:City><st1:place>Karachi</st1:place></st1:City>, Soar Luzzer Khan, has accused George Lucas of plagiarising his ideas while creating the famous Star Wars epic. NSN interviewed this bright son of <st1:country-region><st1:place>Pakistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> and brings you the details of this unfolding story.


    NSN : The whole world is very intrigued by this claim of yours, Mr.Khan. Do you have any proof ?


    Luzzer Khan : I have plenty of proof. Back in the 70’s, I was working in my Uncle's Pako-Ind restaurant in <st1:State><st1:place>California</st1:place></st1:State>, I became friendly with many Americans because we Pakistanis are friendly and warm people. One of these Americans was a struggling movie maker called George Lucas, who used to hang out with me because we pakistanis speak the best English. One night, I narrated to him a story idea of mine, called SiTARon ka WARiS and he was very interested and began to scribble down everything I said. I was pleased that he was taking so much interest, but was also puzzled at his detailed questions "And then what will happen? What next ?...next? ...next?" I soon forgot about that and in a few years I came back to Pakistan as INS deported me and other hardworking Pakistanis because INS is anti-Pakistani and everywhere the Pakistanis are oppressed in this world because they are the true followers of God and that is why Saladdin inflicted a major defeat on these non-believers and what do they have except empty material wealth while we have tons of houris waiting..."


    NSN : Mr. Khan, you were talking about Star Wars...?

    Luzzer Khan : Oh yes..After I came back to <st1:country-region><st1:place>Pakistan</st1:place></st1:country-region>, I was taken aback to hear that my old friend George Lucas had taken my ideas and released not one but three movies. All my attempts to contact him were in vain and he refused to even acknowledge my letters to him. Kafirs can never be true friends, they only pretend to be our friends, that is what the prophet said and hence the rightly guided Caliphs inflicted hell on these unbelievers, even today, what do they have except...

    NSN : Mr. Khan, can we come back to Star Wars? What proof do you have ?

    Luzzer Khan : When you hear these titles, any man with half a brain can see who copied from whom. Let's see ...I called my story Sitaron ka Waris, he calls his Star Wars My first epic was A New Hope for Ummah, he calls his A New Hope ( literal copy )!!

    NSN : Wow..

    Luzzer Khan : Exactly. It gets better - My second and third epics were "Uncle Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jehadi" which were cleverly replicated as "Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi". These stupid kafirs, cannot even copy properly, they corrupted the noble name of Jehadi to Jedi. Which is why they were living as Jaahils while Pakistanis had rocket scientists and brain surgeons and astronauts, what do these people have even today compared to <st1:country-region><st1:place>Pakistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> which has knowledge of.."

    NSN : Mr. Khan, can we please talk only about Star Wars in this interview ? Next week, we will do a religious interview at the Binori Madrassa and you can contribute there. Now, please continue...

    Luzzer Khan : I'll let it go, but do you know that the Western technical term "binary" is nothing but a corruption of "Binori". You brought it up, I'll let it go. OK, so George would not respond to my letters asking for royalty, and he did not even acknowledge our friendship. He raked in millions in kafir money, what good is that in the life hereafter. And he did not give me any. Fine, I thought...God will take care of Lucas and I left it at that.


    NSN : One question that everyone will ask after reading this interview : So let's say George got his ideas from you in the 1970's, how come he is making new Star Wars movies now from 2000 onwards ? Surely you have stayed in <st1:country-region><st1:place>Pakistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> since the 70's and you are not talking to Lucas.


    Luzzer Khan : Aha..I knew you would ask that. I had given up writing movies after Lucas betrayed me. I have been running my uncle's CD / DVD replication business for a long time, but we Pakistanis are creative by nature and in my spare time I dabbled with my first love - writing movies. My first movie, written in 1998 was called The Nawaz Menace. As if on cue, Lucas began to make movies again...and released The Phantom Menace. I don't know what kind of spies he has on my tail, they report everything I write and he copies them into movies.I then took a lot of security measures and wrote "Attack of the Poodles"..and lo and behold, Lucas releases " Attack of the Clones". It violates all norms of international behavior and etiquette, I tell you.

    NSN : Mr.Khan, it does seem that the titles are similar. But there is more to Star Wars than the titles. Is there any similarity in the movie plots ?

    Luzzer Khan : Similarity !? Hah..they are carbon copies. in my new series the hero is Musharafkin TushWanker ..and George's hero is Anakin Skywalker...does that sound like coincidence to you ?
    Wait, more to come...Musharafkin is a bold hero, a commando from birth, who was chosen to lead his people to a great victory against the evil kafirs. He makes a bold operation and becomes a Grand Jehadi. All this was copied. Ultimately, Mushrafkin TushWanker is bribed by Uncle and Poodle and goes over to the Kafir side and does UnIslamic things..all these are told in my final epic... Revenge of the Shiite. And now Lucas has copied this too, by making Revenge of the Sith!! This is the last straw and I have to make this fraud public.

    NSN : Thank you for an amazing interview, the whole world will now see the true worth of <st1:country-region><st1:place>Pakistan</st1:place></st1:country-region> and of George Lucas. One last question - Is it true that you have established a rival to Industrial Light and Magic in <st1:City><st1:place>Karachi</st1:place></st1:City> - called Pakistani Laees and Bullsith ?

    Luzzer Khan : No, it's called Pakistani Faith and Justice.

    NSN : Thank you, over and out.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2007
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  2. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear vmur
    I am not one of those eversmiling chaps and when it comes to laughing, I dont really remember when was the last occasion. I am cast more on the mould of the grumpy Walter Matthau! But I was grinning from ear to ear reading all about the real source of Star Wars! :mrgreen:
    Great stuff vmur! I thoroughly enjoyed it!
    Sri
     
  3. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear vmur,

    Very hilarious piece. Hats off to you. I kept on laughing even after completion of reading.

    Regards,

    TDU
     
  4. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Hi Vmur,

    That is a good spoof on our neighbours. Will we get to read a sequel too?
     
  5. vmur

    vmur Silver IL'ite

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    Hey guys

    Thanks for the warm response. This was written by DH for Bharat-Rakshak.com, an Indian army website.

    As long as the "neighbours" don't improve, there will be sequels :mrgreen:

    Regards
    Vmur
     

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