It was a hot day and I was irritated at the mere thought of weekend support. All I wanted is a normal weekend but considering I have been given compensatory off yesterday I knew I have to be at the office. I got ready reluctantly as I was supposed to be the only person in team working today. I packed my bag with certification preparatory material I was sure there would be ample free time. After numerous follow up with Admin team to switch on the Air conditioning I settled down in my seat. I know from the Onsite support guy there has been no progress in testing and that irritated me. Rather than enjoying the weekend I’m at office doing nothing. After viewing all the videos shared in whatsapp and following the latest poll predictions, I started clearing my office mails. There was absolutely nothing to do. May be I can utilize this time for studying for my certification. As I was to take the book, I saw that. Lying in our team table was a leather bound diary. I was curious on whom it was but there was no name written but I could see some pages were filled. I kept it back at the table wondering whom it belonged. I was the last one to leave day before yesterday and yesterday being Saturday only one person would have come. I messaged my counterpart in onsite on who all supported yesterday. ‘Only Mithra’ came the reply. Mithra..so that would be Mithra’s diary. Mithra joined our team a year back and I have a.. hmmm huge crush on her. I used to admire everything about her from pimple in her cheeks till black color nail polish in her toes. She is outgoing, had a huge circle of friends and always remained cheerful. We all know she has a boy-friend but don’t know any details about him. There was a huge debate going on between my mind and heart on whether to have a look into the diary. Oh no that’s not gentle manly said my mind..Sod it’s diary of Mithra, you can know everything about her, she will never know said my heart. I went out to have tea and when I got back to desk, I couldn’t resist the temptation. Diary didn’t have any date wise segregation and she has written infrequently. Her handwriting was beautiful like her. 12/1 So the news is my parents are relocating here. I’m supposed to be happy but I’m not. You left me when I wanted you. I wouldn’t have suffered if I was at home.. Do you know what I went through? Reading the first entry saddened me. I distinctly remember Mithra announcing about her parents arrival and house hunting for the same. Is there a sad side to her cheerful personality? Question haunted me and I know to get the answers I have to read on. 18/1 I had a dream about V today. In dream we were a couple. If things are not this complicated at my end, I would have done my best to make it come true instead of pretending to be committed. She is not committed then? By any chance does V refers me as my name is Vimal? What is the complexity in her life? These questions flashed in my mind, I prepared to read on. I know what I’m doing is not right but all is fair in love and war. 8/2 Terribly busy at work. Parents are here and all settled in house. I so miss my life alone. I remembered that we were so busy at that time she has mentioned. That time she was elated at bringing lunch from home and used to praise her mom’s cooking. 14/2 I had to travel by bus. I saw the old man doing that to … I couldn’t bring myself to write it. Old man caught me looking at him and lowered his head. My gaze didn’t leave him till he got down in the next bus stop. Everything I’m badly trying to forget came back to me. Should I have acted differently then? I clearly remember she looked glum on Valentine’s day. We were teasing on whether her boy friend didn’t gift her? My thought went towards the entry What did she see in the bus? Was the old man harassing someone? I don’t know whether I would get answers to this but I wanted to read on. There was no progress from on-site and it was lunch time. I half-heartedly went for lunch leaving the diary behind. ‘Vimal, how is going? ’ Anand asked when he saw me. Anand is my team lead and most of us don’t have any complaint about him. He is reasonable but somehow kept everyone at a distance. ‘Client is yet to start testing. I didn’t know you were in office.’ I said. ‘I came for some training ,going on in fourth floor.I should get going.’ He said and left. I quickly gulped the lunch and went back to the diary. This time I didn’t have hesitation, I was keen on knowing what happened to Mithra. 15/2 Had a heavy night unable to sleep with many memories still raw. Ma started talking about my marriage. Would anyone want to marry me after knowing what happened? Would I be able to have normal married life? I still remember what my ex asked.. so would you always remember those incidents when I … A sudden rage filled inside me. Mithra..why would you consider yourself inferior just because some crook did something to you before. You are like a diamond to me. Your worth won’t diminish just because of some bad past. I resolved to communicate with Mithra and tell her what she means to me. There was a call from On-site asking why I’m not responding to the messages. I had to resolve the issue quickly and I became engrossed in that. I managed to steal few glances at diary occasionally. I learnt that Mithra was going to counseling and she has mentioned how those sessions helped her. Counselor has said that she is wrongly directing her anger towards her parents. I was unable to concentrate on work ignoring Mithra. I stopped at a page where she has written: Counselor asked me to say the truth to parents said it will free me from the baggage. Going to do it tomorrow after lunch. Wish I continue to have this courage. I badly needed a fag and while at it my mind drifted back to Mithra. There were several mails from on-site regarding a fix agreed yesterday. I heard some footsteps I kept diary back from where I had taken and pretended to be completely into my laptop. ‘Vimal, regarding the mail trail going on ..I & Mithra had a discussion with client yesterday..’ He started explaining the issue and solution. I breathed with relief as he finished the explanation and said he needs to get back to the session. ‘Oh, I left my diary here yesterday..Catch you post the session Vimal.’ He vanished leaving my thoughts muddled.