Height of wait ! <TABLE class=tdbg height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" align=center valign="top"> <TD style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 140%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana" vAlign=top colSpan=2>Santa and Banta decide to go picnicking one day. When they get there, they realize they`ve forgotten the whisky. Banta says he go and get it if he promises not to eat the chicken till he gets back. Now, Santa waits and waits till a whole day goes by, when Santa says to himself: Come on, I`m hungry. He is not going to come back so let me eat the chicken anyway. Suddenly Banta pops up from behind a tree and says: If you do that, I won`t go !
Hand baggage... <TABLE class=tdbg height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" align=center valign="top"><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 140%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana" vAlign=top colSpan=2>Santa boarded a crowded bus with a bagful of purchases. There was no vacant seat. As the old bus rattled and swayed, he supported himself precariously, holding the bag in one hand, the other hand holding the bar provided near the cieling. "Ticket...ticket.....ticket," the conductor made several rounds past Santa. His wallet in his hip pocket and both hands engaged, Banta did not know what to do. "Ticket, sir," the conductor asked again. Santa thrust the bag into conductors hand and stuggled to take his wallet out, when the conductor protested: "I cannot be carrying passenger s baggage like this- I am the conductor." "Okay, then give me the bag, and here, will you please hold the bar," replied Banta.
Shakespeare sardarji #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" sardarji #2: "No, who wrote it?" Twins What about the sardarji wife who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man. Pizza Q: A sardarji ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces
Sex Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.
Red Ears A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.""Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?""The scoundrel called back
Lie Detector An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The Englishman says:"I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector."Ok", he says, "10 bottles".And the machine is silent.The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector."Allright, 8 hamburgers".And the machine's silent. The Sardarji says:"I think...",BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
White Lines A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can." Wash Basin A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to washhis hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes runningand asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".
Race to the Sun: Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts. One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun." "But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt." And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night." Window A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused,why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I candrink the fluid." Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bringthe seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on thesand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the japanese asked the sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well,when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all have to do is roll down the window."
<TABLE class=tdbg height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" align=center valign="top">Santa got a job ! <TD style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 140%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana" vAlign=top colSpan=2>Santa was recently hired at an office. His first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well his first day on the job, he grabbed a thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. Santa held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take his order. "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" Santa asked. The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me." "Oh good!" Santa sighed in relief. "I`ll have three regular and three black." <TABLE class=tdbg height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" align=center valign="top">Confidential fax !! <TD style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 140%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana" vAlign=top colSpan=2>Santa: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?" Banta: "A little. What`s wrong?" Santa: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened." Banta: "How did you load the sheet?" Santa: "I didn`t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it." <TABLE class=tdbg height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" align=center valign="top">The double-decker... <TD style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 140%; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana" vAlign=top colSpan=2>Santa and Banta landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa somehow managed to get the seat below, but unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while, when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. Santa enquires, "Banta! What the heck`s going on? Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there." Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you have got a *driver.*"
A sardarji rescued 6 people from a house on fire....... but still sardarji was jailed...... as all the 6 rescued people were FIRE FIGHTERS....... Balle balle....... Sardarni : Mere irade bade nek hain, aap 1000 main ek hain. Sardar : Mera dimag bada tez hai, kameeni pehle ye bata ki baki 999 kaun hai !!! Sardarji zebra crossing ke black and white patte par bar bar idhar udhar chalte the. Woh kya soch rahe honge .. ... Yeh piyano bajta kyon nahin. Teacher : akal badi ke bhains ? Sardar : Sir, pehle dono ki date of birth to batao.
