Overcrowding the Heavenly Abode

Dear Balajee:

First, let me thank you for drawing my attention to this thread. I enjoyed reading it. In fact, I was quite thrilled.

Second, the only other person to whose threads the present one is comparable (in style as well as content) is Cheeniya.

Third, my own observations on this lovely piece of writing.

To begin with, I recalled Stanley Houghton's play The Dear Departed. Grandpa dies and the daughter he lived with starts pilfering whatever he possessed, when other claimants arrive. A regular battle ensues amongst the descendants who loved him most, each one claiming to have cared for the departed soul more than the other. And then, lo and behold, Grandpa himself walks down the staircase with a bemused look on his face. "What's all this noise about?" No, it wasn't Grandpa's ghost, but Grandpa himself overseeing with disbelief the re-distribution of his mortal belongings amongst people, each one of whom was prepared with an obit that outdid each one else's. Obits started pouring like manna from heaven even before the guy'd truly departed. It turned out that he had had too much to drink the previous night and passed out. Not away, unfortunately, as his dear daughter presumed.

Perhaps the daughter had presumed correctly though, following your line of thought. Grandpa might well have passed "away-ed", but then refused admission in heaven on account of overcrowding. As a result, he had to settle for a mere passed "out-ed"!! In the course of what some might view as unfair deals, the obits were handed back to the writers in exchange for Grandpa's earthly belongings.

Houghton's plays suggests to me that many an obit could be written prior to the departure of the about to depart soul. We know of course that the printed media does keep in store obits to be published when dignitaries disappear forever. Neither you nor I (pardon me if I am wrong about you, but I know this to be true about me) belong to that category of people. If we did, the newspapers might even have approached us to review obits written entirely for us. "Are all the details we have written about you correct Sir," a novice from the office might be sent over to ask you.

The overcrowding of heaven idea brought up another thought too. Towards the end of the Mahabharata epic, Yudhishthira arrives in heaven and discovers to his horror and dismay exactly what you have suggested. Heaven was so overcrowded that neither his own brothers nor his beloved Draupadi was anywhere to be seen. What he saw instead made him lose his temper (or, so claims Vyasa). He saw Duryodhana sitting amongst the Gods and other holy entities, radiating like the sun itself. Dharmaputra could not control his anger and began to yell (once again, according to Vyasa). He said, "I refuse to choose as my habitat a place where Duryodhana dwells. The sinner had humiliated Panchali, sent us to live in the forests. He forced us to the battle field where we lost endlessly many friends and well-wishers. I do not want to even see this greedy, myopic person. I want to go to my brothers." How contradictory really! These lost ones were waiting for him in heaven itself.

It seems that Narada smiled at Yudhishthira in response. He said, "Great King, control your speech. Once you reach heaven, all hostilities disappear. Duryodhana is respected by all and sundry in heaven. Recall that he had stuck to the Kshatriya dharma and died a mighty soldier. Even at the worst of times, he never shook in fear. Forget the past and shake hands with D." (Did you notice that Narada had lied to Yudhishthira when he said that people didn't quarrel in heaven? Aren't there thousands of tales about Gods fighting each other in heaven?)

Well, the dialogue continues till Yudhishthira is led to hell and that is where he discovers his brothers as well as Draupadi. They were doing penance on account of the sins of deceptions each had committed. The Lord Indra and others appeared and explained all this to Yudhishthira when he announced to the Devaduta who had showed him the way to hell that that's where he wanted to live forever.

In any case, the brothers went back to heaven (Draupadi too) after serving their respective terms. And this made me think once again about your overcrowding idea. It appears, according to devout Hindus, that few are sent to hell for all eternity. They all end up in heaven ultimately. If so, then heaven's got to be a mighty crowded place. Unless of course you believe in rebirth. But Hindus tell us that once you are cleansed of all your sins, you cease to be conceived for good. So, we are back to what you were worried about.

Heaven crowding. It's a mighty crowded place. Hell could well be a more peaceful (sorry, peas-ful) place to reside in. Less noise, less pollution probably.

Perhaps, the obit writers ought to take this fact into account and wish the departed to reside in hellish abodes. It's more than mean to wish to ask people to end up in heaven. I wonder what house rents would be like over there!

Thanks again for leading me to this thread. The lead, fortunately doesn't end with the thread. It goes far beyond. I am on my way there and shall wait for you should you decide ever to join me for a chat. Add dahivadas too if you wish.

Best wishes from the underground.

oj

 

dear balajee,

this surely is one of your very BESTs :thumbsup. had me in splits throughout.i see now that i have been missing a lot of fun by giving these obits a miss.will make up for it rest of my life.

dear OJ DA

I ABSOLUTELY enjoyed your fb. thanks for reopening this hilarious thread too.

 

dear balajee

fantstic posting. different subject to write. but how true it is. I used to read the obits as well as the matrimonials. both are very funny. like in obits everybody goes to heavens, in the matrimonials every body want good looking well educated ones irrespective of how they are. then what will the not good looking ones do.

very interesting to read and do write more.


ganges

 

Hi Balajee,

I happened to read your post on Onion Pakoras and enjoyed it thoroughly and posted my fb though yet to receive your reply .

This is another humorous post especially with the content on obituary ads. Trying to compete with our Kamalji, the Comedy King of IL?

Very nice write up Balajee. Most funniest part was the birthday wishes to the departed! I too love to read Matrimonial and Obituary ads. While reading Obituary Ads, I used to wonder if one day I am no more, will my family give an ad like this and if so how would the readers who know me react.!!!!!!!!!

My uncle was recently narrating about his dream where he goes to a house tragedy struct with a big crowd weeping near the body and he is surprised to see that he is the departed soul and his family is mourning his death and he like a visitor is watching the episode!!!!!!!:rotfl

You are really talented to add your nice mix of humor into whatever you write.

All the best.:thumbsup to you for your post is already getting nomianted for FP.