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Overcoming The Gender Bias

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by guesshoo, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Being a Mom

    I wont speak/support or put different rules for boy and girl in home. I think i'm doing my part rest society will teach them.
     
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  2. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    I love this part!! :) parents consciously passing the baton on. Kudos!
     
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  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    This with your other post does stun me. Yes, I've seen some women taking crrdit where it isn't due but without much success. Even if in office politics I haven't seen them get away with it for long. The other way around for men - as long as results are good, they are promoted.

    In the school and playground level, if there is this aggression, it mustn't be condoned and I do agree stereotyping either way is dangerous.
     
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  4. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rihana I've read your post multiple times and have taken the time to digest it. And it does give me a different perspective. It might just be to do with quiet one vs outgoing ones. To an extent quells my worries.

    Funnily enough after far too many anxious discussions about my formerly "bossy", outgoing girl slowly turning into a reticent, meek one, someone suggested a couple of books to me and I've just received Lean In and would be starting it this weekend! I'm now thinking I should take it with a pinch of salt.

    Mine is a stickler for following rules too. I was given a huge lecture by my dad that I ought to tell her not to be so straight and narrow at all times but be a bit flexible - within limits. It is a hard concept to get across to a 5 year old without big totally inconsistent...

    Well, well. We do our best and they turn out as they will...
     
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  5. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    We will have to teach them to question society too. That is an important part.
     
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  6. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    Not tuned to it. But I see it happening. It will be there for a long time. It is shifting to the female side now, IMO.

    I sense a bias here. Why "AND sons" instead of "and sons"?

    Some ideas:
    1.
    Think how much bias is acceptable for you.
    A person who is against gender bias may not be OK with his/her son becoming a male nurse or male nanny. Same with a daughter becoming a race car driver or join the army. Such persons need to work on themselves first before passing on short-term solutions to kids. They may let a boy wear pink or put makeup on as a short term solution. But not accept them having a non-traditional male/female job in the long run.
    Are we seeking a permanent shift or a temporary fix?
    2.
    Pass the idea down and practice it. (By idea I mean no gender bias)Having a closer bond with children will help in passing down one's own interests and beliefs.
    3.
    Let them choose what they want from an early age and be OK with it. Its ok to not buy a book or toy that doesn't fit in one's budget. But its not ok to make them switch because you don't like the colour or because its for the opposite gender. Same with little chores at home. If a boy wants to clean the house its ok. If a girl wants to play football its fine.
    4.
    The real challenge is outside of home. Choosing a school/system/community that believes in what you believe is important. The choices are not many. And even if there is one such system, not all teachers and staff may believe in gender equality. Situations that levitate from such environments should be handled by simply listening to the children first and sticking to what you believe. Weigh-in what the others say later and pass it down only if its in line with what you believe about gender bias.
    5.
    Using appropriate language.
    Say boys are taught not to hit girls from a very young age.
    - So can boys hit boys?
    - Can girls hit boys?
    The actual usage should be "its not ok to hit anyone". These little areas carry forward a long term impact even into their old age when taught right.
     
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  7. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Boys or girls , there is actually no difference. Its their attitude that matters. There is no need to stereotype boys or girls. My girl can wear pink shoes/dress and run fast . She is very spirited and she doesn't consider herself weak or different from boys. The boys or her school so far has not made her feel she is different from the boys. What I am saying is. No kid is all girl or all boy and we should encourage our boys to cook and girls to play soccer if that is what they want to do. Just like adults, they have their own personalities and we should work with that.
     
  8. mriduna

    mriduna Silver IL'ite

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    @Rihana
    I agree that I am at the starting end of the spectrum and the issues I am facing now are insignificant to the ones in store. Thank you for the very thoughtful and eye-opening post. I will definitely be stashing it away in my brain as I navigate through parenting
     
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