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Our Old Age Home

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Agatha83, Feb 10, 2020.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    True times have changed and some elders have to go to painful situation. Some opt themselves to stay in old age homes though their children are there to take care.

    Glad you got a home. One friend of mine has to take care of her mother old 95 yrs who was in old age home as her brothers did not take care

    I only pray to God to keep us healthy till the end.
     
    Agatha83 likes this.
  2. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @Srama,


    In the previous house in spite of its spaciousness, I couldn’t sit in the balcony because of a garbage bin and a big transformer in the front, which people used as a urinal. It was a horrible sight and with the windows closed always, I couldn’t have a view. The present house though small presents a view of a neighboring Mango tree, a feast to the eye with ripe yellow mangoes hanging during summers. Because of this tree there are many avian visitors, their voice music to my ears.

    You are fortunate to have a wonderful support system in your relationship, one most important aspect in leading a peaceful life.

    The present generation of senior citizens are well aware of the changes happening in the global world and are ready to live on their own or in retirement homes, unlike our in-laws who had the privilege of having their sons or daughters, who took good care of them. We do not cling to our children and have given them all the freedom to pursue their career of interest, and also we do not meddle in the personal lives. But what we need is a secured place where we can lead our lives with dignity and a good medical care, things which are in short supply in India.

    I have always been positive about the changes happening in my life, but as you age a sense of insecurity creeps in, and it is during those times, I pep up my mood by writing, reading or listening to music,. Thank you for your very thoughtful and appreciative feedback.

    Agatha83
     
    Srama likes this.
  3. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @iyerviji,

    It is a sad reality that many old people who live in old age homes have 5 to 6 children, but none ready to keep them along with their families. Everyone has their own excuses in washing their hands off. The worst part is that the children do not even participate in the final funeral rites of their parents, which is also done by the old age home authorities. How callous can sons and daughters be?

    Agatha83
     
    iyerviji likes this.
  4. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Finest Post Winner

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    I really appreciate the way the so serious and emotional subject was presented in a most sublime manner. Getting old is a reality that all of us have to face, unless of course, there is an urgent call to manage the affairs up somewhere.
    It is always a difficult choice to decide to stay in your own house, shift to a rented house or shift to a retirement home according to your pocket and live with your children, if they are willing to. The case has to be decided on case to case basis and there is no arithmetical formula as on today.
    One has to make a calculated choice and then compromise and accommodate, keeping in mind that you are no more the boss.
     
    kaluputti likes this.
  5. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear@HariLakhera,

    I have posted this snippet based on my personal experiences I had with my close friends parents or in laws. My MIL with12 children, with a severe enlarged heart problem, had several health issues during her stay with me. With my house being on the third floor with a steep staircase, my DH posted on site somewhere in the north east, her frequent hospitalization posed several problems. When I asked for some help from some of her sons, daughters, nobody was ready to come to my rescue.

    There can be no arithmetic formula in personal relations, but a sense of duty, love and affection should be always there towards parents from the children. A warm word of affection during their birthdays, wedding anniversaries, frequent phone calls enquiring about their well being, these are the priceless gifts any child can give to their parents irrespective of the distance, status, family problems and financial issues.

    Agatha83
     
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  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Finest Post Winner

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    Absolutely. I sincerely appreciate your difficulties. I have seen such cases and pray God for sparing me of such situations, but then nothing is in our hands. Children an make a lot of difference.
     
  7. kaluputti

    kaluputti Gold IL'ite

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    Very very emotional as Hari ji has mentioned Agatha83....and as a senior myself, can appreciate what has all been said here by so many kindly souls....Ageing, a natural process has to be accepted ...and will be , by almost all of the present gen. seniors like me, but other factors like economic, health,relationship ,etc. issues divert us from rational thinking and the physical and mental weakness, again a natural process, make things even worse. The emotional security one can get from the younger generation, is something priceless whether one is with money or without, healthy or sick and so on. What we can do is to be a community, and help each other out.Being proactive I mean, after identifying the problems, play supportive role not only virtually but physically wherever possible...! How about IL group of seniors...of course in the lighter vein...:blush: but, not impossible !
     
  8. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @kalluputti,

    Your idea of having community of senior citizens in IL is good. But being a virtual platform, here we share many personal happenings, which may not be to the liking of some of those relatives who are still alive. So I always like to keep myself anonymous, which gives me the immunity from any personal attacks. I have undergone the worst nightmarish experience while writing for an anonymous column in a national daily, in which my name , phone number and address was published in bold letters!

    Agatha83
     
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  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Finest Post Winner

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    One thing that is beyond my understanding is why most of the members in IL are anonymous. What is there to hide? At worst, someone may say some unpleasant things but that can simply be ignored with a smiling emoji. It is quite possible that some are here anonymously because they do not want some of the members known to them who they are and what their background is.
    So many are on Facebook and other sites too. I just can't understand it.
     
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  10. kaluputti

    kaluputti Gold IL'ite

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    The main and real purpose of any social media are not just rambling about but to expose the social problems so that there can be a solution and a check for social evils.Or else we cannot say that we or our voices are suppressed, and unless everything comes out, like surgery which causes lot of blood shed but finally heals the main root cause of the problem. Keeping silent is exactly which is required for problems to thrive, or the oppressors to become bolder. If we are not in the wrong what is the problem in voicing out? It is immunity from personal attacks vs freedom and peace of mind more so about closure for a lot of baggage, which I believe is carried on to even the next birth, if we believe in that. It is unfortunate that you had to undergo that worst nightmarish experience, but standing up for yourself is the most courageous and right thing to do, is what I feel. It is finally what we decide.
     

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