Orthodox MIL please help me

Op- Deeply sorry for your loss. However I believe you should be more stern. Face it, she has come to live in your house and you are responsible for the rules. If my grandmother could stand up to her mother-in-law more than 60 years back and put an end to the nonsense period rules so that she could have a better life and later her 2 daughters could live well, I see no problem in you doing the same. Stop waiting for your husband to defend you. You are no damsel in distress. I am sure you can defend yourself. Best of luck.

 

Sorry for ur loss op....i cant imagine even what pain u r going thru....
Let me tell u u r very brave n strong tht u have started ur life again....a strong person like shuld not take the kind of bull**** ur mil is giving u....
ur husband luvescu but doesnt understand the need for standing up for u....a normal story....when ur husband helps u n ur mil yell at u.
..what is ur husband response?? He shuld say tht no prob mom she also works whole day at office and let me help her out....
no prob u stand up for urself....denying wrong thinking and telling ur opinion is not disrespect to anybody....tell ur mil politely wht u think abt traditions and being slave to men and abt superiority of mother of a boy....
very politely tell her tht these traditions are old at tht time woman use to be at home and not working outside so they have sufficient time to follow these....but as u r working so it will not be possible for u follow each neverything as u dont have time n stamina....
she will sulk let her....she may create drama let her...
when she says tht her son is tired becoz working all day in office tell her so r u....
when she yells at u frm takinv help frm ur hubby ....dont explain tht y u were taking help....just tell her politely n firmly tht u r a working women if u will not ask for help frm ur husband then whom u wil ask? Tell her tht she is an elder so u wi not ask help frm her....

Mention her tht wht trouble ur parents took in raising u....bore her wth tbe stories....tell her tht how much regard u have for ur parents for doing so much for u....

For all the traditions reply tht time n setup has changed...earlier woman stayed at home n men earned now both goes out to earn....so accomodating all traditions r notvpossible...

Do something which gives u peace....may be meditation, reading books, listening soothing music...whatever u like....

 

Dont Feel bad!!!... You will have a good time!!!.

Being close with inlaws is not working out. I understood it in my case and even thru other forums!!!!...

When you try to be close with them, they will treat you like a servant. You have to do whatever she says like from cooking till shopping!!!..doing pooja, even our kids own stuffs we need to ask them.... Sometimes those advice comes till bedroom also...That is the expectation!!!. Finally There will be no privacy!!!.

So reduce your close talks and limit it!!!... But care for them!!!...

Your MIL should know her limit!!!... It is not necessary that, ur husband should fight for you, but he should stand up for you!!!... When your mother yells at you, he shouldnt be quiet!!!!....

Next time, tell your husband, you cannot do all the household stuffs along with your office..... never give up your afternoon nap for her... stand for yourself atleast in few things.... Draw a line which she should not cross!!!.... Be bold.... we are working as equal as men and we know how to respect IL's. But we cant be a slave!!!!