Opinion Poll : When your inlaws started hating you

My inlaws - esp. my MIL & SIL - decided that they would hate me even before they started looking to get their son / brother married!

My DH's cousin told me that MIL would tell me my DH from around the time he was 8 years old 'Your wife will be a hag. You will become her mouth piece. You will forget your mother & sister after marriage' etc etc etc. WHO ON EARTH tells an 8-YR-OLD boy this?

MIL is mentally unhinged and openly shows it. SIL is more cunning and disguises her mental illness better... but both are Class 'A' LOSERS.

 

I am not sure which one applies,but my in laws hate me from the day of my marriage. My SIL was fuming during my engagement as though I dont deserve to be with her brother. Its not me but any girl would have got the same treatment. from then to this day my in laws openly tell their son they would want him to separate from me.

 

Hi
Chocolate and malyatha...
Its so unfortunate to hear about ur relationship with ur inlaws, sounds like real mean souls... why would they bring a person into their family to hate them to the core and make their life a living hell ?

My inlaws hated me after 2 years of marriage when I fought with my husband and stopped him from s ending huge amounts of money which they were totally wasting...

 

D: They Neither hate, nor love me ( neutral)

 

B. They like me

At least I think they do....

Ever since my m-i-l had laid eyes on me, she wanted me for her eldest son. So being the only d-i-l for nearly 6 years sure gives you a little nudge over the others d-i-ls right? Frankly, We've had our share of downs, but nothing were so serious to be taken to the level of "HATE". Normal arguments like I do with my mom.... I have NO s-i-ls & I am truly grateful for that! I think they are the main cause of a lot of disputes among the saas & bahu. I have a brother & I hope I don't end up in a list like this Big Laugh I got two b-i-ls who are in their own world & my F-i-l too is to himself....
I am grateful :bowdown for them to like me, 'cos it's hard to welcome someone to your family & them DISLIKE OR RantHATE them

 

For my mil it's either: J or K
For my fil it's probably: C
For my sil it's: C

Why they hate me? Because I'm their son/brother's wife, that's why. I could be Aishwarya Rai and they would still hate me. My mil wants to be the center of my husband's universe, and unfortunately she's not comfortable sharing the center, or anywhere near the center, with any other woman. As for fil and sil, they follow my mil, but not to her extent. My mil haaaaates me so much, but I don't feel sil and fil hate me, i think they just strongly dislike me. Rant

I often wondered, why would a mil even bother to get her son married if she was so insecure? And the only thing I can think of, is the mil has a dellusional thought that her son won't start loving his wife the same way he loves his mom, that the mom has been #1 in son's life 25+ years, so no way could she be replaced. But the thing is, when you get married to someone, and you plan a life with them, and you have intimate moments with that person, laugh with that person, eat with that person, go out with that person, LOVE HAPPENS and that's when mil feels she's become second, and that's when problems start.

I believe a lot of problems would be resolved if mil's realized they can't be both a mother and wife to their sons. I believe there's no need to be everything to everybody. A mil is wife to fil, mother to son... so why can't mil just let someone else fill wife role with son???? So frustrating!

Also to Sonalie: I don't know why you always use words like "imagine" when it comes to the views dil's have about their inlaws. If a mil acts like she hates you and says she hates you, don't you think you can safely assume she does IN FACT hate you? I think your own bad experiences with your sil have sort of biased the way you see inlaw relationships.

"My inlaws fear me so much that they just avoid talking to me and just let me do things i want them done....they may talk behind me and my cold stare and angry nostrils are enough to quieten them in my presence..."

That's funny, you must know my mil! Because that's the exact look she has on her face when she is screaming at me to get out of "her son's house." Big Laugh

 

hai friend,
u r really lucky yaar.God bless u . never ever attempt to get closer to them. then u will start repenting .(like me)

 

well i would say my FIL doesn't hate me for sure. He dislikes certain things in me like I speak out my mind (when needed... he thinks DIL should keep quiet even if it means stamping on her self-respect)but he is always open about what bothers him about me. It hurts when he speaks so but i'm happy he is not back biting.

My MIL started hating me after 1 year of marriage. Ours is an arranged marriage. I don't know exactly what triggered... i don't interfere in DH sending gifts, money etc., to his parents, in fact, i remind him to do so; when we visit them i never come between parents and son; i am always quiet when she tries to provoke me (may be she expected a big fight and got disappointed). But she once told me openly that she didn't like that i was enjoying all luxuries her son's money provided... some people just don't make sense and she is one. Well anyways if this hatred gives her happiness that's her choice...