Online Cheating?

Not necessarily bogus accounts but a lot of people do care about their online privacy excepting some people who choose to lose it on Facebook! I can't understand them, though!

It's a good idea not to reveal personal information online.

Now that you bring it up, let me tell a few things as 'don't do':

• Never share your contacts online. You may identify your friends by their real names. You are doing disservice to your friends
• Never tag a friend in a photo. who knows how your tag is gonna be used? You are invading their privacy. Is that a friendly act?
• I would say, don't upload photos at all. You have given away copy rights to your friends' photos. And if you tag them, future face detection technology can come to bite them bad!

Those are just a few. You get my drift?

 

Ashwathi you are not at all over-reacting and I should appreciate you being calm and dealing with this in most balanced way.

That said, I would advice you to not to use sentences like "Am I lacking in ..." or "Is our relationship lacking...." etc as that would be like giving him an instant getaway to blame it back on you. Men won't browse random website for for random flicks, if there are any marital problems. They would rather go for affairs with people they come across at offices or their favorite haunts. And they would take it further from there.

Why do men browse for ****? Surveys revealed that even men with healthy family relationships look for ****. We know that it sounds sleazy and there is no justification other than that men like **** which gives them some instant and transient gratification. I think, in your husbands case too, he may be looking for some fling or flirting and may not be considering as serious as you may be taking it. Please understand that I am not justifying his behavior in any way, but just giving you information that may be helpful to you in deciding how strongly you need to confront him.

 

Tell him clearly that you don't like this behavior of his when you have had 6 years of marriage and children who are gradually understanding things. Tell him, that you are going to help him in anyway if he promises to stop this. Also tell him that you consider it very serious and would find insulting on your relationship. Also if he doesn't listen, you can try silent treatment.

 

You aren't over-reacting. Something about his behavior is making you upset, and even if you tell him so, he chooses to ignore it - so it certainly is not you over-reacting, but him being inconsiderate of your feelings.

Don't be wary of bringing it up again, however, instead of focusing on him, try focusing on how his behavior/actions make you feel and how he can make it better for you. I am not sure if you've already tried it, but it often works for me and DH.

For instance, if I blame him saying - "you do/never do xyz, its so irritating...!" he immediately goes on the defensive and that completely stalls what we're saying to each other. Instead, if I focus on myself, and say something to the effect of - "I feel hurt when xyz happens, is there any way you could not do xyz..." he gets it that its not him, but his actions that are bothering me, and he does all he can to stop/change it.

 

Visu2k has a point. Stats on how many actually take it to physical from virtual will be interesting to know.

Surely it may have nothing to do with you lacking but more to do with his inquisitiveness/adventurism/experimentation. It could start from there and get out of hand if you are not careful. Surely go have a chat but don't feel that it may be because of you.

 

True. We reflexively think that it is because we're doing something not-right in the relationship and it becomes a whole different conversation. Do think about it, but don't start the conversation with that mindset if you don't think you can see any such red flags.

P.S.

Ummm... not quite. We were talking about keeping our online privacy? :crazy

 

And also about not doing anything to blow the privacy of our friends by identifying them in pictures, sharing their real names with their email addresses etc etc.

 

This is cheating -- and not only with you but I am sure with the girls too.

Do you think he is telling the girls he is married for 7 years....maybe not. He may be posing as a NRI who is looking for a relationship...I am sorry thats what losers do....pose as someone u are not and trap innocent girls

You need to speak up and tell him to stop being a low life ......if he really wants to chat .....do it with the real profile and then see if there are any girls ready to talk to him

Sorry, but i just feel he is being a big loser, cheating on you and innocent vulnerable girls