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One Must Appreciate Self First & Value His/ Her True Worth...

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by subbutr, Sep 20, 2007.

  1. subbutr

    subbutr Senior IL'ite

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    My Dear Vedasir,

    Thanks for the feedbacks & the way you have expressed that you had the experiance of being called as a man of no worthiness by the family, at the same time you have reached the greater heights in your professon as a Chartered accoutant...

    Of course you have said many thanks to your friends & well wishers for helping you out to reach the Goals.

    You had the clarity of your introspections and you was able to pursue the aim to be a successful professional. It shows that you have achieved your inner strengths fully explored.


    This shows that Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances.

    All men have an equal right to the free development of their faculties;
    they have an equal right to the impartial protection of the state; but it is not true, it is against all the laws of reason and equity, it is against the eternal nature of things, that the indolent man and the laborious man, the spendthrift and the economist, the imprudent and the wise, should obtain and enjoy an equal amount of goods.

    All we would tell people is to hold onto what was individual about themselves, not to allow their ambition for success to cause them to by to imitate the success of others.

    We've got to find it on our own terms.

    Subbu

     
  2. subbutr

    subbutr Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you dear Aishu for the feedbacks and glad to know you enjoy the concepts of self worthiness.

    Let me share some more introspections in our Life :


    Someone once observed that we learn more by the questions we ask than by the answers we give. Call it a learning, if we will,
    but I find that asking questions of myself helps keep me on track.

    Here are ten I ask regularly.

    What am I resisting?

    The seeds of growth lie in your resistance to what is new, unfamiliar, or unpleasant. All too often, the very things we resist most are the things that force us to grow the most. So, be attentive to those subtle gut-tightening signals that hint of an opportunity for learning

    What is the lesson here?

    There's a second step that is needed to reinforce the insight gained by asking the first question. In order to really benefit, we have to actually seek out the lesson, demonstrate that we really want to hear, and be willing to follow the often-subtle guidance that comes.


    Have I been here before?

    Often our most pressing issues are thinly disguised versions of problems we've failed to solve in the past. Different names and faces maybe, but the same underneath, destined not to go away until we meet and resolve them once and for all. If your answer to this question is, yes, then maybe it's time to get to the bottom of the issue and solve it!

    Am I losing energy to this?

    We pay a price for every negative thought we entertain, and it's measured in decreased energy, heightened depression, reduced immune function, and sometimes serious illness.

    Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?

    One of the most difficult tasks of this life consists in letting go-of our attachments, of ego, of our need to be right, and ultimately, of this life.
    You cannot fly unless you are willing to relinquish your firm footing on earth; flying requires that sort of faith, and commitment.
    The surprising thing is that, when we really let go, we begin to grow.
    Am I in the present?
    Every moment you spend regretting the past or worrying about the future is a moment of the present, lost.
    Yes, we need to complete the past, wind up our unfinished business, and be attentive to trends that portend of future events, but we can take action only in the present.
    So, that's where your full attention needs to be, and staying in the present is a full time job.
    What do I need to do now?
    To act or not to act, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to take action against a sea of troubles and so by doing, prolong them, or to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous inaction and so gain clarity.
    Put the question differently: is there a NEED for action now?
    Often, we act because we're afraid that, if we don't, things will get worse.
    The truth is that deliberate inaction is action, and it is often a way to allow a cloudy situation to become clear.


    Who's in control here?
    True or false?: It's important to be in control of your life.
    Control can be a big issue for some people, especially if they feel they don't have it.
    So, granted, it's perfectly reasonable to want to feel in control.
    Letting go of the past, staying in the present, and taking action (including no action) are all ways to develop a sense that you are in control.
    But there is a step beyond control.
    It is to recognize that, ultimately, you are NOT in control-that you are always subject to a higher authority.
    Paradoxically, this recognition and your acknowledgement of it can free you from the need to always be IN control.
    What is my responsibility here?
    Have you noticed how some people have a need to involve others in their problems?
    If it's your boss, your significant other, or your child, it's normal to conclude that your have to do something.
    But, that something doesn't mean becoming part of the problem!
    Your responsibility, in this case, is to maintain a level of detachment that will enable you to see the situation clearly, and this clarity pertains not only to the solution, but to the extent that you should be involved in the problem in the first place.
    Am I at peace with this?
    Do you know when you're at peace with something?
    Chances are, it's when you can look at an issue, person, or problem and feel no charge, no subtle or sudden surge of emotion.
    But peace is something more. It's about balance, an inner certainty that you are untouched by it, him, or her.
    The peace-check is a key element in gaining closure, in ascertaining that the situation is complete.
    In God’s creation, there is a purpose in everything...
    It is our duty to use our intelligence and find out the purpose of God in blessing us with those special powers...
    After death a man is what he has been just before his death.
    If he has not controlled lust and anger in this life, and acquired peace of mind and joy, he cannot have them after death...
    One is not asked to give up one’s legitimate pursuits necessary for one’s livelihood.
    But while being so engaged, one should not lose sight of the essential purpose of life...
    The formula for Happiness : P + E + H
    P stands for Personal Characteristics, including outlook on life, adaptability and resilience.
    E stands for Existence and relates to health, financial stability and friendships.
    H represents Higher Order needs, and covers self-esteem, expectations, ambitions and sense of humour.

    Life is beautiful when it is explored to its fullest meanings and values.

    cya................subbu
     
  3. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Subbu sir,

    For a long time I kept thinking you are a female member of IL!! Don't know how I came to that conclusion ?! :oops:
    But then, what does it matter?! On this virtual world, what we are relating to are the written words and your posts have always been sensible and interesting.
    This one in particular is not only interesting, but hold some secrets to a successful life. Self confidence and holding oneself in good esteem is very important to everyone of us. It will project us in the right light and takes us to places. You have done a great job of compiling all the important factors to improve one's self value. I feel one should be made aware of these lines while one is still very young. A young person realizing this and trying to build his/her character remembering these words will benefit immensely in future academics and working life.
    No wonder that one IL'ite, Vivbass has nominated this post for FP of the month. I can now see why......I take it that these lines are all penned by yourself....
    Thanks for a wonderful post.

    L, Kamla
     
  4. madhu11

    madhu11 Bronze IL'ite

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    Subbu sir,

    Wow...what a post!!! As Kamala pointed out, these are truly a successful secrets for a life!!! Thank you for posting.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2007
  5. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Subbu Sir
    Very thought provoking and enlightening post. so very glad to read and reread and read all the replies and your replies back. Thanks for this thread.
    I have always found it difficult to self appreciate and admire and honor my self probably due to upbringing etc. but reading such thought provoking articles we are able to take a few moments step back and reflect. thats what i just did. so thanks again.
    (my husband studied in mani high school and psg tech and inlaws lived in ramalinga nagar now no more so i'm familiar with cbe. sorry to digress could not resist namma oru sonda oru)
     
  6. subbutr

    subbutr Senior IL'ite

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    Our dear Kamla,

    Thanks for the observations and feedbacks.

    As a reqular person with en number of thoughts to share with self as well as with the others, I thought this will be an ideal platform to discuss about all aspects of self introspections & its effects.

    Glad that many of you liked it and its a God's Gift which allows us to think upon any subject fully to reveal its importance to Life.

    It was a pleasant surprise to note this post has been refered by our dear Vivbass for the finest post of IL and it's an honour & recognitions to good thinking & to act upon.

    My sincere thanks to Vivbass & Kamla for seconding the thoughts.

    Subbu
     
  7. subbutr

    subbutr Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Madhu & Anandchitra,

    Thanks again for your acknowledgements for highlighting the values of self respect & self worthiness posts.

    Hope you enjoy the above musings of our minds to ponder many times to find the solutions at ease.

    When a drop of ink makes a person think ,then there is no more a reward or the cause of happiness for a writer to compensate.

    Our ability to make judgments can serve us well.
    It can also cause a lot of needless trouble, anxiety, and pain.

    Stop making judgments about the things that don't matter.
    And you'll free yourself to focus on the things that do.

    Imagine a world in which there was nothing to annoy you.
    When you let go of the constant need to judge, the annoyances drop quickly away.

    Many times judgment can be replaced with understanding.
    And by truly seeking to understand others, you will yourself be far better understood.

    Certainly there are times when a judgment is necessary and appropriate.
    Your judgment at such times can be much more powerful and effective when you haven't wasted it on things that don't matter.

    Use your judgment wisely. And just as wisely, give it a rest.

    Cya..........subbu



    Subbu
     
  8. tyciol

    tyciol Guest

    Being able to love and appreciate aspects of yourself and not unnecessarily dwell upon the ones you hate is indeed very important. My view is that even if what we love most in life is altruism and loving others, would we not want them to love themselves? If you care about someone, you want them to be happy independantly, and must do so yourself to show them that it is okay. For those who become parents I feel this is especially important.
     
  9. subbutr

    subbutr Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Tyciol,

    Valid points expressed by saying, when one extends his love & affections to see the other find happiness, in turn expects the same amount of love from others too....
    Here again it is not neccessary to expect the same level of acknowledgements possible from every one and we have to be contented with we have done our best for the other to be happy.

    Subbu
     

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