One more shoking news about my husband

rita12 · Jun 23, 2013

okay IL friends,

You read my previous post...Now today a shoking news I gota know my husband chating with some girl just as he was before our marriage talk to me on chat. : he is talking to her like her lover......he also shared wit her about our fights, argument said bad stuff about my family...also he lied to her that he buy for me car, lease home for me and I am not doing anything except staying home ......
however, I purchased car for him, I helped him to settle in usa and he telling that gal he did all these....
when I asked him abt that chating he said I was in masti mood that's why I was talking like that ...on other hand I remembered long ago he said that gal is his sister but when I read their conversation my husband telling her I love u baby, hugs u tight wont let you go etc..... now is this sis and bro relationship

my husband saying he will not do again....but m totaling feeling down, confuse, worry and as you all know my husband is abuse too..my marriage was love marriage but love is seems I only have for him .....
I worry and very very sad. help me please he asking me forgve me..whom with he talking that gal also married gal.....my husband chating to her since 2010 and last chat with her was march 2013 ....in previous chat he complain about me to her....

Also, what about his caring after food washing dished, at time of monthly period he look after me by giving milk, buy grocery sometimes when I ask him and care about stuff I want to purchase, give me his salary because I have bank account, all light, car, house, electricity etc all my name so I manage payments. So, that's not love????????? someone please tell me why I am confuse why? GOD HELP ME...

now advice me please ladies... no words thanks all in advance for reading and suggesting.

Gauri03 · Jun 23, 2013

Based on your past threads, I think your path is clearly laid out in front of you. You seem to know it too. He does not love you; doesn't even care for you. He shows no interest in bettering his future. I think you said in one of your previous threads that he is on a student visa and you are awaiting the approval of your pending GC. Do you think he will hang around after he gets the GC? He has been cheating on you for 3 years with this girl, physically abusing you, and living off your earnings. On top of all this, he dares to set limits on how much cash you should bring home before he does you the great favor of donating his sperm! Seriously? Is this a marriage or a flea market where you bargain what favors to grant based on earning ability? What exactly is your incentive to continue to stay in this sham marriage?

Listen to your parents and dump the loser.

rita12 · Jun 23, 2013

after reading your suggestion I am num, sad, my tears in my eyes, and blaming myself for marry to him and loving hime truly. I loved and care and support him when he came usa. only with one thought he loves me and keep me happy...Now, after all these 17 months of marriage experience with him. I am feeling so down, cant trust anyone in my life anymore.... Also, what about his caring after food washing dished, at time of monthly period he look after me by giving milk, buy grocery sometimes when I ask him and care about stuff I want to purchase, give me his salary because I have bank account, all light, car, house, electricity etc all my name so I manage payments. So, that's not love????????? someone please tell me why I am confuse why? GOD HELP ME...

Gauri03 said: ↑

Based on your past threads, I think your path is clearly laid out in front of you. You seem to know it too. He does not love you; doesn't even care for you. He shows no interest in bettering his future. I think you said in one of your previous threads that he is on a student visa and you are awaiting the approval of your pending GC. Do you think he will hang around after he gets the GC? He has been cheating on you for 3 years with this girl, physically abusing you, and living off your earnings. On top of all this, he dares to set limits on how much cash you should bring home before he does you the great favor of donating his sperm! Seriously? Is this a marriage or a flea market where you bargain what favors to grant based on earning ability? What exactly is your incentive to continue to stay in this sham marriage?

Listen to your parents and dump the loser.
Click to expand...

Gauri03 · Jun 23, 2013

rita12 said: ↑

someone please tell me why I am confuse why? GOD HELP ME...
Click to expand...

Rita,

What you are feeling is normal. You haven't done anything wrong. You had hopes from your marriage and they have not been realized. Sadness is natural and normal. Even in the worst relationships there are moments of happiness and closeness. Your mind wants to cling to those moments because the alternative is too frightening to think of. It is not easy to let go of hope.

You want to believe he loves you. But isn't love more than sharing household chores and doing the occasional grocery. I am sure he cares for you at some level. After all he has shared his life with you for 2+ years. But is that enough? When someone loves you, they don't raise their hands at you. They don't have intimate chats with strange women on the internet. They don't set arbitrary monetary conditions on life altering decisions like having children. If there was one problem to overcome you could have tried to save this marriage. But you are facing physical violence, coupled with long-term infidelity. Where will you draw the line?

sdiva20 · Jun 23, 2013

Rita I thought you had decided to dump your husband in your last thread. What kind of help are you expecting from others? If you cannot listen to your voice of reason or your parents, what makes you think anything any of us says will sink in any different?

Your husband did not bring you the moon just washed some dishes in his own house or gave his wife some milk. Nothing earth shattering there. If your expectations are so low for yourself, its no wonder that he treats you like crap. None of us can restore your self respect- only you can bring it back.

sdiva20 · Jun 23, 2013

Gauri just put it more nicely than I did. Please seek some help. You can do much better. You can find someone who will love you like you deserve. Please wait for that person (and traust your fate) instead of wasting you love and youth on this man who is so not worth it.

rita12 · Jun 23, 2013

I don't know what is holding me? I don't know why after knowing all truth and listening everyone suggestion I am such................I know what you all are saying.......I guess I m just hoping for his good side which he doesn't have for me..Sorry I m listening you all want to act for better future..just m still confuse and very sad deep inside. what I did for this man in return what I got? Good people get good things? AM I wrong in helping him, loving him, supporting him that I am getting all these...........................

sdiva20 said: ↑

Rita I thought you had decided to dump your husband in your last thread. What kind of help are you expecting from others? If you cannot listen to your voice of reason or your parents, what makes you think anything any of us says will sink in any different?

Your husband did not bring you the moon just washed some dishes in his own house or gave his wife some milk. Nothing earth shattering there. If your expectations are so low for yourself, its no wonder that he treats you like crap. None of us can restore your self respect- only you can bring it back.
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rita12 · Jun 23, 2013

Gauri, Thank you for great answer and explanation. I AM VERY SAD AND FEELING DOWN..

Gauri03 said: ↑

Rita,

What you are feeling is normal. You haven't done anything wrong. You had hopes from your marriage and they have not been realized. Sadness is natural and normal. Even in the worst relationships there are moments of happiness and closeness. Your mind wants to cling to those moments because the alternative is too frightening to think of. It is not easy to let go of hope.

You want to believe he loves you. But isn't love more than sharing household chores and doing the occasional grocery. I am sure he cares for you at some level. After all he has shared his life with you for 2+ years. But is that enough? When someone loves you, they don't raise their hands at you. They don't have intimate chats with strange women on the internet. They don't set arbitrary monetary conditions on life altering decisions like having children. If there was one problem to overcome you could have tried to save this marriage. But you are facing physical violence, coupled with long-term infidelity. Where will you draw the line?
Click to expand...