On the verge of a break down, please help

Can your family do little remodeling (your hubby should support this at least) the home in such a way that u get corner room, and add a door which people can use to come directly to living room, sit there and leave from there.

make a habit of closing your room when you r not there alsso, tell ur hubby to do the same. If other people opens ask them why? We can sit here in living room.

if still happens when u r not there , is it ok u lock it and leave the key home, tell mil if she needs something she can unlock and take. Put curtain all the time, lock will be behind curtain. People may take it rude , but hubby ok, mil understands your need for privacy, then it will be fine

 

Dear op

May be your H had seen enough drama around him to react.Your MILs reaction is a surprise (your H could be the reason).Dont try to get out of the house instead try to establish ownership.

Op its waste of energy to tell everyone what you want instead you could directly tell the girl or you could keep your pc in the living room.

 

was it a own house or rented house?If it's a own house,see you can construct some room for yourself.
I don't see any wrong with your MIL either. Neighbors are the part of your support system.If she needs some help,she can't call you or your husband.She needs to relay on friends and neighbors.Actually having people around is a good sign instead of living solo life.Because the way your house is right now is a problem.Otherwise she should able to entertain her guests without entering your room.
I'm not a privacy person ,so I may not understand the seriousness of your problem though.

 

The layout of your house is not relevant. Your MIL's lack of common sense is the problem.
No one should be sitting in your room without your permission. If the neighbor wants wi-fi they should get a connection installed at home.
I am surprised that you have been this tolerant. If I came home after a long day to see someone parked in my room, who does not have the decency to take a hint I would be ballistic and tell them to leave directly. Once should be enough.

 

Dear OP,

The issue is not trivial. I don't like people to use my bedroom as a living room.

First, tell the neighborhood girl to stay in the living room. Say it loud and clear if she violates ask her never come to your house. Ofcourse your MIL may still entertain in your absense. If possible threaten them saying that you have a spy cam in your room.

Or swap your MIL and your bedroom.

Your husband is used to seeing dramas by your MIL, so he may be immune. You need to prove him you mean business and make him find a solution.

 

Move to a better place to live in.

 

Like Iamgoodgirl said, I feel it is more cultural difference an your relationship with neighbors. I guess instead of shouting and pretending to leave home, you can ask your MIL calmly. My ILs and their relationship to neighbors are similar to your ILs where neighbors can go to bedroom. Initially I was feeling awkward but later on I just said my MIL very politely that I do not feel food when some one enter in my bedroom (instead of saying I don't like). My room is scattered every time and I don't know what they will be thinking. It is better if they just sit in living room (my FIL and SILs also supported me at that time) . Now whenever if some one try to come directly to room , my MIL stop her saying she might be changing dress or taking rest . Now no one come my room directly. your another day issue when your MIL friend came - when you entered you had sit for few minutes and then say 'Mom let me get fresh and change dress and after 30 min or so when you come back you can execuse them let me prepare team or get snacks.

 

You have 2 issues - Your DH not consoling you and the unwanted guests in your bedroom.

For the first issue - you have to make your DH understand that you mean everything you say/do. Tell him that if you are upset you want him to hold your hands and console you. Some people need a clear guideline on how to react to certain situations.

For the second one - Are you renting or do you own the place? If renting, try moving to a different home. OR move to your MILs room since there is no connection you can keep the door locked.

 

Cheenu,
1) The Wi-fi problem - why does it have only good range in your bedroom? Is it a construction problem? Can you have a connection in your living room, so that in case this neighbour girl wants to come back,she can sit in the living room and plug in to the connection from there?
2) Privacy- I get you. after a days work, all we want is to relax in our rooms a bit - and when someone disrupts that - we go crazy. Your H should ideally support you, but since he doesnt - there is no other option but to speak up for yourself. And I think you are doing a pretty good job of it. Just keep putting your foot down wherever it is necessary and stop thinking about the rest.