Moliers said”Impromptu is truly the touchstone of Wit”.Many of us in our age group have enjoyed Winston Churchill, Bernard Shaw and in the Indian context, C.P.Ramaswmi Iyer,Piloo Mody and others for their repartees and ready wit.According to Louis A Staffian’free wheeling barbs,pithy pot shots,caustic quips ready wit and rapid fire repartees help deflate egoists,dispose of bores,devastate dummies and demolish meanies”What I wish to share with you is a collection repartees of lesser mortals helping to relieve boredom and enjoy some fine moments. A chief minister of one of the states was answering the press surrounded by a group of ministers including a lady of ample proportions.When the press suggested that to save his position, he should broadbase the ministry,he pointed to the lady by his side and said “I already have Mrs -------- in the ministry-I can’t broadbase it any further resulting in uncontrolled laughter and he almost lost his post by this indiscreet remark.The same gentleman,when there was an uproar in the assembly that due to falling price of sugarcane, farmers were feeding their cattle with cane, he advised them not to do so as cattle lest they should get diabetes. I n exasperation over an argument my wife told my daughter,a little girl ‘You are always troublesome-I know you for the last twelve years”Back came the reply’I also know you mummy for the last ten years-you are always complaining”.Perplexed by the arithmetical anamoly I asked my daughter about the difference of two years for which she replied”For the first two years I did not know what kind of person mummy was” My American boss while visiting a customer, saw a calendar in the shop which depicted ladies having a bath in the river and a man holding the sarees and watching them from the tree on the river bank.The American after a close inspection of the calendar asked me”Lakshmi-who is this guy?”I said”He is lord Krishna one of our Gods, playing pranks with the girls”The American winked at me and said –sure this guy knows how to enjoy life”.This spurred him to devour Hindu Mythology.When one of our customers by name Kubera chettiar wanted some credit facility, back came the reply-He is the treasurer-Why does he want credit? Once in the height of summer I was travelling with my immediate boss affectionately called TKR accompanied by his wife.When we approached the Godavari river we could not resist having a bath in the river.My boss’s wife could not bear the scene of our revelling in the cool and clear waters of the river.She complained that she was unable to enjoy a bath because of the lack of privacy.My boss consoled her and said-have a bath and don’t worry about us.We shall imagine that we are seeing Zeenat Amman in the Hindi Movie.For the next thirty minutes I had to turn in a different direction and continue not to embarrass the lady. After fixing up an appointment the Joint Managing Direcor of my company a Britisher went to meet the MD of another company an American on the dot.The petite secretary asked us to be seated and said that the American was tied up.The Britisher quipped “send him a knife” I cannot resist recalling the conversation between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor.Getting angry over an argument Lady Astor told Churchill-If I am your wife I would have given you coffee with poison.” Churchill replied after a planned silence”If I had been in that unfortunate position I would have gladly accepted the poison If you have smiled atleast once while going through this snippet then that is the best way to look forward to a Happy New Year.