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On spontaneous humour

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sln, Dec 27, 2009.

  1. sln

    sln Platinum IL'ite

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    Moliers said”Impromptu is truly the touchstone of Wit”.Many of us in our age group have enjoyed Winston Churchill, Bernard Shaw and in the Indian context, C.P.Ramaswmi Iyer,Piloo Mody and others for their repartees and ready wit.According to Louis A Staffian’free wheeling barbs,pithy pot shots,caustic quips ready wit and rapid fire repartees help deflate egoists,dispose of bores,devastate dummies and demolish meanies”What I wish to share with you is a collection repartees of lesser mortals helping to relieve boredom and enjoy some fine moments.
    A chief minister of one of the states was answering the press surrounded by a group of ministers including a lady of ample proportions.When the press suggested that to save his position, he should broadbase the ministry,he pointed to the lady by his side and said “I already have Mrs -------- in the ministry-I can’t broadbase it any further resulting in uncontrolled laughter and he almost lost his post by this indiscreet remark.The same gentleman,when there was an uproar in the assembly that due to falling price of sugarcane, farmers were feeding their cattle with cane, he advised them not to do so as cattle lest they should get diabetes.
    I n exasperation over an argument my wife told my daughter,a little girl ‘You are always troublesome-I know you for the last twelve years”Back came the reply’I also know you mummy for the last ten years-you are always complaining”.Perplexed by the arithmetical anamoly I asked my daughter about the difference of two years for which she replied”For the first two years I did not know what kind of person mummy was”
    My American boss while visiting a customer, saw a calendar in the shop which depicted ladies having a bath in the river and a man holding the sarees and watching them from the tree on the river bank.The American after a close inspection of the calendar asked me”Lakshmi-who is this guy?”I said”He is lord Krishna one of our Gods, playing pranks with the girls”The American winked at me and said –sure this guy knows how to enjoy life”.This spurred him to devour Hindu Mythology.When one of our customers by name Kubera chettiar wanted some credit facility, back came the reply-He is the treasurer-Why does he want credit?
    Once in the height of summer I was travelling with my immediate boss affectionately called TKR accompanied by his wife.When we approached the Godavari river we could not resist having a bath in the river.My boss’s wife could not bear the scene of our revelling in the cool and clear waters of the river.She complained that she was unable to enjoy a bath because of the lack of privacy.My boss consoled her and said-have a bath and don’t worry about us.We shall imagine that we are seeing Zeenat Amman in the Hindi Movie.For the next thirty minutes I had to turn in a different direction and continue not to embarrass the lady.
    After fixing up an appointment the Joint Managing Direcor of my company a Britisher went to meet the MD of another company an American on the dot.The petite secretary asked us to be seated and said that the American was tied up.The Britisher quipped “send him a knife”
    I cannot resist recalling the conversation between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor.Getting angry over an argument Lady Astor told Churchill-If I am your wife I would have given you coffee with poison.” Churchill replied after a planned silence”If I had been in that unfortunate position I would have gladly accepted the poison If you have smiled atleast once while going through this snippet then that is the best way to look forward to a Happy New Year.
     
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  2. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    LS sir,
    It is definitely a post that brought smile to our lips, but also cheer to the heart.
    Wish you a happy new year !
    Jaya
     
  3. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear LN sir,
    so happy to see you with a post that enlightens our humorous sense!!! A post that we need now to welcome the new year with a smile !!!
    Now here I want to share one more joke of Churchill,

    Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill:
    "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."
    Another example:A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
    gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said
    Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
    </pre>George Bernard Shaw sent Sir Winston Churchill two tickets to his new play. “Bring a friend if you have one,” Shaw wrote.
    Churchill replied, “I can’t attend that night, but perhaps some other night, if there are any others after the opening performance.”

    with love
    pad



    </pre>
     
  4. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    A very good post LN Sir that brought in more than a single smile from all of us..nothing like humour to start and welcome the new year ..:thumbsup


    so just thought of adding one more......

    The Perfect Man, the Perfect Woman, and Santa Claus

    So what happens when the perfect man and the perfect woman get married, and try to help Santa Claus?

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

    One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

    There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.

    Question: Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?

    Answer #1: A Woman’s Response: The perfect woman! She’s the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

    Answer #2: A Man’s Response: So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident in the first place.


    Wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR:)
     
  5. Mahanu

    Mahanu Silver IL'ite

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    A good post and nice FB that brought waves of smiles. I would like to add one more impromptu wit.

    Once Albert Einstein went to deliver a lecture. While travelling, his driver asked him what was the topic of lecture on that day. When Einstein told him the topic, the driver replied, "Oh, that one!".

    Einstein was surprised to get that response and asked the driver what he meant by that response. The driver replied, "You have lectured on that topic so many times and I have been hearing that every time. I know everything you are going to speak. Even I can deliver the lecture on that topic."

    Einstein was taken aback. But, his curiosity got better of him and told the driver, "Look, the organisers and audience of this lecture have not seen me. So, today you deliver the lecture, as you have said, pretending to be Einstein."

    The driver agreed and before reaching the venue, they exchanged their seats in the car. The driver got down from the car, people taking him for Einstein took him inside with all respect and the lecture began. Einstein was standing in one corner of the hall, pretending to be the driver.

    The driver delivered the lecture exactly as Einstein would have done it and Einstein was dumb stuck on hearing the lecture. After the lecture ended, audience started asking questions on the topic. The driver was taken aback as he had no idea about the details of the topic.

    But, he responded instantly by saying, "Do you want me to answer such silly questions? Even my driver knows the answers for them. You people get clarification from him" and left the venue.

    How is that?
     
  6. natpudan

    natpudan Gold IL'ite

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    LN sir,

    a very humorous post which definitely made me laugh & not smile, many a times.

    some real time jokes do embarass us like the one that happenned to you.

    i too wish every one here a humour filled year ahead.
     
  7. dhivya rangarajan

    dhivya rangarajan Bronze IL'ite

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    Dearest LNsir,

    As good as ever.... enjoyed reading the post on promptness in humour, and the brakeless prompt narration stype you adopted for this!

    Simply adore you..

    Cheers,
    Dhiv.

    Wish you, Mithila mam and the rest of your family a very happy n prosperous new year!
     
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dea r LN,

    I am sure in yr company Mithila must be laughing the whole day, hurting her sides.:biglaughYou have a wonderful sense of humour, anmd u remind me of Cheeniya and OJ.Superb.

    the Zeenat one was damn good, as were the others.Churchill takes the cake, and the bakery.HAHA

    i not only smiled but laughed.Happy New year , dear friend, and tell me how is Banglore compared to Chennai, and how u two feel.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  9. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Very enjoyable post. And I agree, smiling is the best remedy for all illnesses. Some say crying too helps forget sorrows. All of us have come across people who spill tears during moments of uncontrolled laughter too. One's not too sure sometimes if they laughing away their pain or crying when faced with stupidity.

    In any case, I recalled a repartee while reading your collection. Many may be aware of it I think. A gentleman was served tea at a friend's residence. After sipping it, he whispered to his wife, the horse had diabetes.

    Incidentally, if I am not too wrong, the name was Moliere.

    Happy New Year.

    oj
     

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