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On Cheeniya's Legs -- The Long and the Short of the Matter

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ojaantrik, Jan 25, 2013.

  1. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Worries me you know. This Cheeniya guy has accused me of pulling his leg (or, legs). Not only so, he believes me to have joined a gang of leg pullers that has been attacking him since his childhood and, this is the most worrisome part of his accusation, our joint effort has stretched his legs to a size that no longer matches the rest of his body! He is even wondering if the Guinness guys might be after him to collect a whole lot of uncomfortable details now, such as his PAN number, his ATM PIN, his roll number from college days (which it seems he has forgotten since he used to bunk classes), the circumference of his tummy, his Municipal Tax bill and similar other information that he is averse to sharing with the public at large. All because he has outsize legs whose length the world is dying to find out. In an effort mind you to make him wear a crown that someone bearing a name as odd as Svetlana Pankratova (born April 29, 1971) had been surreptitiously wearing till recently.

    Sad, sad, sad!! His accusation sounds like a transferred epithet to me. In case you don’t recall what a “transferred epithet” refers to, let me quote from Cheeniya’s favourite author, or at least one of his favourites. (I am almost sure about this, whether he agrees to reveal this information to the nosey Guinness blokes or not.) The author happens to be P.G. Wodehouse and this is what he had once said:

    That was pretty close to the target, wasn’t it? I mean the leg he spoke of as opposed to Wodehouse’s

    It seems to me that Cheeniya, like Bertie Wooster, was attending to his meditative legs after his homecoming from a sojourn in exotic Chettinad as a wandering pilgrim of sorts, when this thought struck him. He might have been ruminating over a breathtakingly long “tana” performed by some singer or other and then transferring the length of the “tana” to his legs. Alternatively, and I tend to believe that this is the most likely course his intimate thoughts had taken, he had mistaken me as a member of the group of his leg pulling fans in Indus Land, the ones I mean who pull his legs for no other purpose but to express their insatiable thirst for his blessings, and in the process, elongate his legs far too much for his comfort. Unfortunately though, he ended up converting what should have been an epithet into an accusation and hurled it against innocent bystanders who had no connection whatsoever with the length of his lengthy legs. He did so because he is known to reserve nothing but polite phrases for his fans. Only, he did not realize that I am one of his fans too, but not the leg pulling kind. In fact, my avatar should convince you in no uncertain terms that I could not possibly have been pulling his legs like chewed chewing gums


    Well, that’s about the long and the short of the matter, though the “long” part appears to have caught Cheeniya’s imagination more than the “short”. And while he dwells on his “long”, I have this sneaking suspicion that the only way for me to win the approval of the readers of this snippet is to cut it short. Towards that end, let me conclude somewhat dramatically by inserting two images I had once had created for my granddaughter. She has so far refused to arrive on earth mind you (leave alone the grandson). These images were hiding in a remote corner of IL as parts of an unfinished story I had composed for the granddaughter's benefit, should she ever get to read it. And I have made it loud and clear to her that she will never be able to read a story, finished or unfinished, unless she is born in the first place.

    Since the granddaughter ignored my appeal with determination, I decided today to reinterpret the images. As opposed to what they were meant to be when they were created for the granddaughter, I am inclined now to view the first image as that of Cheeniya's eyes keeping a watch over his fan club. The second then shows how Cheeniya might reveal his legs to be pulled every now and then by his admirers in order to ensure that they continue to live in a state of bliss ever afterwards !

    And with that message, I submit the matter for your judgment. The whole thing worries me though, as I had said at the very beginning!!




    Funny_Eyes.gif





    Legs.gif



    Animations -- Argha Bagchi
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2013
    12 people like this.
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  2. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    oj, Cheeniya should have known better than to bandy words with you. But it is good that he did. because he inspired you to write this hilarious blog.. his legs pulled or unpulled seem to have become your muse.
     
    4 people like this.
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OJ,

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Poor Cheeniya, i wonder what is the difference in percentage points of thelengthof his legs.HAHA

    Superb one OJ, let us see what Cheeniya has to say eh !

    Regards

    kamal
     
    2 people like this.
  4. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balajee,

    Thank you for your appreciation. But the sworn Cheeniya fans might have been offended. I have this habit of putting my foot in the mouth!!

    Regards.

    oj
     
  5. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamal,

    Don't ha, ha. It appears that the rest of IL is sob, sobbing ... I was worried as I said. The judges may punish me now. Scary thought. In any case, I am locked up in a pillory as you can see, doing penance in advance. Before a judgment is passed I mean.

    Regards.

    oj
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Ojaantrik sir,

    :biglaugh..... Your profile picture is :thumbsup..... Your sense of humor is even better.

    But are you by any chance underestimating our IL's sense of humor? :)
    Anyway from one fellow (suffering from chronic foot in the mouth syndrome) to another ....:cheers
     
    5 people like this.
  7. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Tell you what dear Oj-da, this is possible only between you and Cheeniya sir, the leg pulling I mean. But for the rest of us, well I don't know about all of them, but for some of us it is all simple and pure admiration toward both of you! This Indus Land as you call it, is twice blessed! Where else do we get to witness something as fantastic as this, tell me?

    Very very apt Oj-da, both the images and your interpretation makes sense except the second is very limited and can be and will be done only by elite few ;-) much to the giggling nods of the rest of the followers like us!

    Thank you for this write up and bringing in cheer to my very very early morning! I thoroughly enjoyed it. Like you said, I am also 'one' of the many sworn Cheeniya sir's fans but Oj-da let me assure you that if anything I am only delighted to see this friendly banter between the two of you!
     
    7 people like this.
  8. arch1209

    arch1209 Platinum IL'ite

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    Great reading....Hillarious, mad me smile in the morning :)
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sir,

    So, stalwarts of IL arguing who is pulling whose legs!!!! Interesting!

    Some years back in a sunday Telugu paper two famous writers who both are excellent writers argued on some point in their writings. One sunday it used to be xxx writes, next week it is yyy replying, again xxx replying to yyy's explanation and on and on and on...for quite a long time. When sunday paper magazine edition comes this was the first thing we used to read.

    We are following.......getting entertained in the process. Don't stop too soon. Let it go on for a while!!!!

    Syamala
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Hahahahaha OJ-da. I was more than a little late coming here, but it only meant my sweet was preserved longer for me to taste. What a riot you are!!!!! Only you could take off like that on Cheeniya sir's FB. Hats off to you sir. I am indeed privileged and delighted to be privy to this exchange sheerly by being a member of such a unique site. Thanks a lot for coming back and continuing to regale us with such delightful snippets. :-D And having said that you know where I am off to! :-D
     
    3 people like this.

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