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Old Forgotten Tamil Proverb,"mamiyare, Mai Ettukongo".

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Satlak, Jul 25, 2017.

Have you heard of this proverb?

  1. Yes

    1 vote(s)
    12.5%
  2. No

    7 vote(s)
    87.5%
  1. Satlak

    Satlak Gold IL'ite

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    The other day I was talking to my mother. And when we spoke about how some people manipulate a situation to their advantage by making fiction seem true, my mother said ,"mamiyare mamiyare mai ettukko madiri" which when translated means "mother in law, mother in law! Please apply Kajal/kohl" . This was one of the oft repeated proverbs I had heard as a child. The story behind the proverb is interesting . It is about an ailing old lady and her wily daughter in law. The daughter in law starves her. When the old lady's son that is the dils husband comes home from work, he asks her why his mom is looking famished. The daughter in law says that she tried her best to feed her but the old lady refuses and gets aggressive if forced. She tells him "I will go and ask her again now. You stay outside because you need to know how she behaves with me whe you are not around". She goes to the old lady's room in front of her husband. Then, whispers into her ears"mamiyaare! mai ettukarela ?" which translates as , "Mother in law! Will you apply Kajal in your eyes?". Kajal was the last thing the starving old lady wanted so she replies, "Vendam", that is "No!". Then the daughter in law again whispers the same thing. The old lady raises her voice and says vendam. When she again insists, the old lady shouts ,"how many times should I say no? "Then the wily daughter in law comes out and tells her husband who , sitting outside had heard his mothers refusals " see how she gets aggressive if I insist that she eats."

    The story is a humorous take for on how people can play with words and situations and have their way at the cost of others.
     
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  2. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow, that's really cruel.
     
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  3. Satlak

    Satlak Gold IL'ite

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    Yes that was very cruel indeed! The wily woman misused her abundant intelligence.
     
  4. LakshmiKMBhat

    LakshmiKMBhat Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, people can be very cruel and it is so easy to change the meanings of innocent words.
     
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  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Satlak,

    Welcome to Snippets. I had never heard this proverb before. It sounds just like the scenes in all the sass-bahu serials, but if there is a proverb, there must also be some truth to it! There can be no smoke without a fire or proverbs without reason. Of course, this kind of manipulativeness runs both ways. As for the guys, if they have some advantages, there must be something to balance it - this seems to be their misery in having to balance between mother and wife.
     
    Satlak likes this.
  6. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    @Satlak,
    So shocking to see things could happen this way too! , as generally a proverb has some background reality to it in many cases. I remember seeing a video also recently not sure whether it was thro' facebook or youtube, where the only son similarly has a doubt on his wife as his Mother who was bedridden was deteriorating very badly. He therefore installed a CC camera in her bedroom and found that his wife was actually not only not feeding her but also manhandling her / pushing her from her cot etc.
    The above proverb ofcourse has a jocular touch to it but sad to realise to what extent this relationship of MIL/DIL can deteriorate and the son's position in all this!
     
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  7. SCSusila

    SCSusila Gold IL'ite

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    I have heard this proverb , but the meaning I have heard is a bit different .
    It is like this : the daughterinlaw has no real care or affection for the older lady , but just for appearance sake in front of others , to make good impressiin that she is caring , she will say sweetly " mamiyare mai ittuko" , when the old lady is weak or ill or sleepy , when there is absolutely no need for her to apply mai to her eyes . So its like useless upacharam .
     
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  8. Satlak

    Satlak Gold IL'ite

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    That's very sad . Yes there seem to be some daughters in law who harass their mothers in law just as some mills harass their dils.
     
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  9. Satlak

    Satlak Gold IL'ite

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    Ha ha.. indeed it seems straight out of a scene from a Saas bahu serial!
     
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  10. Satlak

    Satlak Gold IL'ite

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