Old Age Home? Have a heart!

lalithasai · Jun 18, 2007

Hi Sri,

I agree with every word that you say. Life is always complicated with never ending expectations in everyone of us irrespective of age. I hope and pray for the vision and strenght to overcome these complications in ever stage of my life.

Have a lovely day.

Tamildownunder · Jun 18, 2007

Dear Cheeniya,

On this topic I feel that youngsters should realise that they too will get old one day and they will be at the receiving end from their children who have watched how their parents have treated their grandparents. Like the famous saying in Mahabharath, the most surprising thing in the world is people see others getting old, but they think that they will remain ever young. I recollect Avvaiyar's words,

Kodithu kodithu muthumaiyil pini
Kodithu kodithu muthumaiyil thanimai
Kodithu kodithu muthumaiyil purakanippu
Kodithu kodithu muthumaiyil ekkam

I cried when I heard that one of my relative old lady living with her son who was illtreating her said, 'please mix poison in my food so that I will also get relief and you will also be relieved'. Ofcourse, if they can spend the rest of their days peacefully in old age homes, it is better.

Regards,

TDU

Regards,

Cheeniya · Jun 19, 2007

Dear TDU
That old lady's words as quoted by you wrenched my heart. What can I say?
I feel very sad indeed
Sri

sowminivibu · Jun 19, 2007

Dear sir,

this is the first time i visit ur thread and i immediately hit upon this topic...well i am 24 yrs old and i am the eldest of three daughters and i have a daughter who is 16 months old......my husband is frm a family of three sons where he is the youngest...

as u had rightly said i also belong to the school of thought tht parents under any cicumstances be it parents or in laws shud not be let in an old age home..its not for any prestige issue or to abt earning a bad name in the society..but to be true to our conscience...i am sure i wud not be doing tht....as u have rightly said in the old age its not the physical comfort tht they ask for..but true love n affection frm us the children.....

i wud like to bring to notice abt sum views tht u knw my in laws carry on with them...out of the 3 sons...the eldest son is in dubai and the second son is in the US adnwe are also in dubai....my hubby always has his heart in chennai..he keeps telling u knw we need to go back n get settled in chennai asap....but to our astonishment....whenever we say this my mil keeps telling we shud not cum here to chennai as it is such a headache if these children are there around....the eldest son is so rice and he has invested quite sum money in chennai and given them the comforts......they love to go out shopping,go fora round in the car and keep looking to buy new properties in chennai...my mil is very happy if we give hr a visit for a week..but when i say i am gonna stay in chennai for a month..then she becums quite shocked....

also when this topic of old age home cums,...u wud b surprised..she says i wud go and enroll myself in classic kudumbam..this is sumwhere on the OMR road..i often tell her..amma pls apdi soladhingo..at any instance we ppl are there and wud not let u guys like tht to go there n stay in the old age home....infact she never listened and went n checked if in future if need arises if she wud get an admission there.....

well sri sir,now tell me the situation is vice versa....we the younger lot say dun go to an old age home..but they take it upon themselves..well certain things i believe cant change hoever modern we becume....we cant at any cost let our paretns like tht..if such a situation arises then i dun feel we are doing justice to ourselves..i dun even think what my child wud do to me..but just tht when i live i have to be humane and do my duties well....

lov
sowmi

Cheeniya · Jun 20, 2007

Dear Sowmini
I am happy to get acquainted with you through my fourm. It's nice to have someone who can express herself so well visiting the forum for the first time.

You are indeed lucky to have parents and in laws who put the interest of their children before their emotional needs. Shows how much they love you. Having said this, I must also tell you that you are indeed a unique and warm person to plead with your mil to stay with you and drop the idea of settling down in a old age home particularly considering that many would jump at the opportunity of packing them off!

The Classic Old Age Home is a real classic. I have been there a few times and I should admit that the promoters have thought of every need of older people and provided for it. You can see quite a lot of beaming faces there! A stay in a place like that and constant touch with children will certainly go a long way in finding a solution to this burning problem.
Sri

sowminivibu · Jun 20, 2007

Dear sir,

It is very nice to get i touch with you..i shud say the pleasure is more for me for getting to interact with u...sir in future one of my goals is to serve the society in sum way possible.....let me start to think of starting a service home as such myself..tht way i wud b able to serve not only my parents but wud get to serve many :-D

lov
sowmi

Cheeniya · Jun 21, 2007

Dear Sowmini
It is indeed laudable that at such a young age you already have a noble goal of serving others. May God bless you and use you as His vehicle for spreading cheer and happiness.
I am myself feeling a bit guilty that I have not spared a thought for others even at this age. What you say makes me feel guiltier. I have one ambition though. I want to build a cemetry for pet animals in Chennai. I have been after the Chennai Mayor for allotment of a suitable land on lease. I want to develop it as a lovely garden where the pet animals can repose in peace. The thought took its root when my pet pomeranian died and we had no place to bury it. Finally we let it rest in a wooded area in Adyar.
Veettukku oru maram valarpom is a slogan of the environmentalists. I would say that every one of us should do at least one good deed for the society within our limitations.
Sri

sathya · Jul 7, 2007

hello

life is full of adjustments
thatha patti sollai kekkanum
amma appa solvathu nallthukke..
Vaathiyar namakkaka thane solgiraar
vazhkai thunai solvathai ketpathaal
vandiyodum neenda nedum pathayil
ennai vitta chakkaram pol
appada retirement enravudan
puthainthu kidantha asagal
thulli ezhuvathen..
anru solla thayangiyathai
inru ninru gargikka neram kidaithatho?
asaiyay anbai sonnaal ketkaatha
nenjamum undo..
amma adikka vanthal
thatha paati anaithal
podugirathe puthiya paalam
pinaippugal kadumaiyaga irunthaal
pirippatheppadi..
kadum sorkalai...vayathanaal
kadalai sorkalaga maatrikkolla
porumaiyum vittu kodukkum
manappaanmayum vendum..
parents irukkattum
there are people who keep
uncles and aunts too..
ungalukkum ungal inimayana ammavukkum
enthan anbu vanakkamgal

sathya

Cheeniya · Jul 8, 2007

Dear Satya
I find that poetic response too hard to match and so I reply in my usual way!
Life becomes more and more beautiful with a lot of compromises. The joy of compromise (vittu kuduthal) is the greatest of all. But unfortunately in this rat race called life, no one is willing to compromise and that causes a lot of friction!
Whether we are driving a car or waiting to board a flight, we always tend to edge others out of our way! We are indeed making our lives too mechanical void of all emotions!
Sri

Kamalji · Aug 23, 2007

Dear Mr.Cheeniya,

I have just joined Indus, and i have become a fan of yours.The way u write,yr sensivity,is something very few people have.You are 64, and i am 54.

I feel so sad about these old age homes.As kids we were helpless and it is our parents who nurtured us to what we are today.And today when they are weak, we take away their homes,and leave them to rot in old age homes.What has the world come to,sir.

You are doing a yomen service to mankind,and God will always be kind to you,by making ur children wonderful human beings.

Reg the old age home, how are the expenses met ?
God bless u and yr family.Regards.kamal