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Oh My God! Episode 9

Discussion in 'Saturdays with Varalotti' started by varalotti, May 22, 2009.

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May 22, 2009 #1
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OH MY GOD!

A Series By Varalotti Rengasamy

Episode 9

When Malya’s Doctor dropped a bombshell that Malya was an AIDS patient KG was thrown out of gear. Unmindful of KG’s shock the Doctor continued to talk.

“I work for the VHS AIDS Programme. During a routine check-up in that area six months ago we found that most of the commercial sex workers had aids. I counselled Malya to quit her profession and move away from that place. She is now surviving on retroviral drugs.”

“But how long….”

“I don’t know. Her immune system is almost non-existent. We’ll try some powerful drugs. And leave the matter to God.”

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #2

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Part 2

Malya was sitting on her bed and was sipping a cup of coffee when the two men entered the room.

“Sami, I could see anger in your face when I insisted on this Doctor. Now I see only pity. Which means this man should have spilled the beans. Sami, please, I can’t stand that look. Anger is okay with me, but not pity. Everyone of us is going to die someday. In my case it’s a bit earlier. That’s all.”

KG turned other side to hide his tears. The Doctor ran through the symptoms and gave her a shot of antibiotic. He filled up a page of his prescription pad with tablets and capsules.

As they moved out of the room KG held the Doctor’s hands.

“I know what’s in your mind. Will she survive? Well, the honest answer is I can’t tell. So long.”

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #3

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Part 3

Malya was in bed for a week. Then she showed some signs of recovery. KG insisted that they should continue with the classes.

As Malya was too weak to walk down to KG’s portion KG walked up to her room for the classes every morning. Malya normally sat up for the classes. But if she was too tired she would listen to KG’s words lying down. Nevertheless she was very attentive.

A week later KG asked her point-blank.

“Give me an honest answer, Malya. What do you want from God?”

Malya’s body had almost gone numb with a kind of vague pain. She was extremely tired. She was being propped by a lot of pillows.

“You mean, now, Sami?”

“Yes.”

“Nothing.”

KG was surprised.

“You see Sami, as a child, I wanted a normal father like any other child of my age. But God gave me a rogue, a rapist, a scoundrel and an alcoholic all rolled into one. Like any other child I wanted a healthy mother.

“My mother was sick all the time and died when I was hardly twelve years old. Like any other child I wanted to go to school. But my father wont let me.

“I wanted to play with other children, chase the butterflies, eat kulfi ice creams and fight with children of my age. Nothing of that sort ever happened.

“I was brutally raped by the animal called my father when I was 13. I screamed for help. My neighbours did not come. Nor did God intervene. I was sold for a mere thousand Rupees by that scumbag. I was initiated into prostitution when I was 14. In those days I used to scream in pain every night. God acted deaf. And I continued to suffer.

“Now Sami the game is almost over. The wavering light of the candle is going to merge with the vast darkness that surrounds it. Even if God showers on me all the wealth in the world now what’s the use? Even if I am made the queen of this country what’s the fun? I am counting my days.”

KG was tongue-tied. Malya continued.

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #4

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Part 4

“In those days I was angry with God. When somebody took the name of God I simply spat. When I saw God’s picture in my customer’s place I would throw it away.

“I had the vilest of men as my customers. And most of them regularly prayed to God and dutifully applied the religious symbols all over their body. I was then vexed with God and His ways.

“But now, Sami, I am looking at God from a different angle. Not that I have mellowed down. I think that I have grown up. Those days I wanted everything from God. A good father, healthy mother, loving family, wealth, happiness, a life .. everything. But today Sami, I don’t want anything from him.

“Earlier I wanted him to move the mountains and dry up the oceans. Today I don’t want Him to interfere even with the movement of an earthworm. Everything, everybody is fine as they are.

“The world is fine as it is. I, with my bad upbringing, my sinful past, my illness and impending death.. even I am fine in one way. Even that rapist, my father had a role to play. And he played it well.

“You know Sami, I don’t even expect God to love me after a life of sin. But ironically I have fallen in love with him. I don’t expect Him to love me in return. If He does, nothing like that.

“Even if He doesn’t, it’s fine with me. If God does not return our love, does that mean that our love for Him is false? I LOVE HIM. Period. In all probability it could be an one-sided love. Unrequited love. But that does not make it any less true.”

KG had frozen in his place. It appeared as if their roles had been reversed. Malya was playing the role of a teacher. KG was furiously writing in his note book while Malya was looking at her benefactor with amusement.

KG looked at Malya with admiration.

“I don’t have anything to teach you, Malya.”

“Sami, just teach me how to say I love you to God. That’s more than enough for me. I know that He does not expect me to say that. But having fallen in love with Him I want to say something, do something. Please Sami…”

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #5

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Part 5

KG decided to teach one of the greatest secrets of his tradition. Called the Dvayam, the mantra contains two statements perfectly synchronized with each other.

In the first, the devotee tells God. I am abandoning everything else and surrendering at your lotus feet, when you are with the Holy Mother, Mahalakshmi.

Sriman naarayana charanau sharanam prapathye.

KG whispered the line into Malya's ears and explained the meaning.

But that was only one half of the mantra. KG’s prelude to the other half was wonderful and made Malya cry in love.

“Let’s assume that a ten year old girl is playing in the street. Her mother loves her and holds her dearer than her own life. Now let’s imagine that the child suddenly abandons her game and comes to the door of the house. And then she shouts “Amma, Amma.”

“The mother is shaken. Why should my darling daughter call me all of a sudden? In the middle of her game? Has she fallen down or something? Has somebody hurt her? Is she hungry? Does she want anything?

“She abandons whatever she is doing and runs to her daughter. The mother is on the verge of tears.

“The daughter sees her mother. She then tells her in a very soft voice, “Amma, I called you to tell that I love you. I love you very much. That’s all.” Leaving the mother frozen at the door of the house the girl runs out to resume her game.

“We can’t even imagine the state of mother’s mind. She would be sobbing, crying and melting in love for her little one.

“Now when we say this mantra we play the role of the daughter while God sobs in love like our dear mother.

“By the fist half of the mantra you have abandoned the usual game you are playing in the streets of the world and have called your mother, the Lord.

“When you utter the words “sriman naraayana charanau sharanam prapathye” like an anxious mother He comes running to you. He is rushing to you just to ensure that you are fine. He is ready to give you whatever you want provided it does not hurt you.

Then you see Him, realise His love and tell him softly

“srimathe naraayanaaya namaha”
KG whispered the second line into Malya’s ears and then continued his explanation.

Oh Lord, I don’t want anything from you. I just called you to say, ‘I love you.’ I love you very much. And the God to whom the entire universe is but a speck of dust melts in love for you.

Malya looked at KG through a screen of tears.

“Sami, you know how to make me cry. Please repeat the lines together.”

“sriman naarayana charanau sharanam prapathye
Srimathe naarayanaaya namaha.”

“Sami please tell me the mother and daughter example again.”

KG complied.

Malya was crying silently. She then composed herself and told KG in a choked voice,

“I never had a mother like that. Nor can I ever be a mother. Yet I can’t help crying. That’s the power of love, Sami.”

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #6

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Part 6

Malya had almost recovered from her fever. She started coming down for classes. One day after the classes were over she asked KG in a matter-of-fact voice.

“Sami, when I die, will they bury my body or burn it? If they decide to burn it, who’ll lit the pyre? I don’t have anybody in this world, Sami. When my mother died I was there to cry for her. And my father lit the pyre. But who’s there for me, Sami?”

KG tried to intervene.

“Please don’t tell me that you’d do it. It’s an honour, no doubt. To be cremated by such a loving man. But honestly, Sami, who are you to me? My landlord, right? You’d be creating a Guinness Record, Sami – the house owner lighting the funeral pyre of his tenant.”

KG left the room in a fit of anger. Malya went up to her portion. Later in the evening KG sent word through the maid that there wont be any classes for a few days as he was otherwise busy.

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #7

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Part 7

Three days later. KG’s house was full of Brahman priests. KG sent somebody asking Malya to have her bath and come down.

Malya was surprised to see the sacred fire glowing in the centre of the hall. The priests were busy uttering some mantras.

KG took Malya by her hand and made her sit on a wooden plank placed before the fire.

“She is the girl.” KG told the priests. Malya was aghast. What was happening?

KG held her hands and whispered into her ears.

“I am officially adopting you as my daughter. From today onwards you are not just Malya. But Malya Gopalan.”

Malya lapsed into violent sobs. The ceremonies went on for about an hour. All of them had food together.

When they were left alone Malya fell at the feet of KG.

“But Sami, why did you do that? Sami, I am dirt. I am the scum of the society. You are like God to me. Why should you do that?”

KGs reply was very firm.

“Didn’t you question my relationship to you? Didn’t you say, who are you to cremate me? Well, this is my answer to your question.”

“Sami, you are God Himself.”

“Malya, why don’t you call me Dad?”

“No Sami, I won’t. I will never call you Dad or Father.”

“Why dear?”

“My mouth is filthy. You know with this mouth I called a rapist, a rogue, a scoundrel as my father. I don’t want to sully you by calling you father with the same mouth. You are and forever will be my Sami, my God, the only God who has ever loved me.“

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #8

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Part 8

Two weeks later the fever relapsed. This time Malya’s already ruined immune system meekly surrendered to the intruding germs.

KG took care of her like his own daughter. He supervised the preparation of special food for her. He spent most of his spare time by her side.

He had hired a full time nurse to take care of her.

One day when KG was about to take leave of Malya she held his hands and spoke to him in a weak voice.

“Is it necessary that we should think of God or His name or chant some mantra when we die? There are people who have a sudden death. And there are people who fall into a coma state and die after several years. How can they think of God, Sami?”

“If God insists that technically we should think of Him when we die, then He’s no God, Malya. The God I worship has very clearly answered this question in one of the sacred texts.

“He says that when the dying person can’t think of me, let him not worry. I will think of him instead. How can I let my devotee down? I will be constantly thinking of him and give him peace and happiness after death. Aham smaraami math baktham nayaami paramaam gathim.”

“Thank you Sami. Thank you very much. For everything.”

KG took leave of her and came down.

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #9

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Part 9

Around three in the morning the nurse woke him up.

“She wants to see you, Sir. Please hurry. We don’t have much time.”

KG was with her in a jiffy.

“Sami you taught me so many things. I can’t remember anything. I don’t even remember that mother-daughter mantra.

“But Sami, I can never forget one thing. And that’s you. You know Sami for the past one hour I have been doing nothing but chanting the word ‘Sami’ again and again. That to me is the most divine mantra. For it’s a mantra of love. Sami, please hold my head.”

KG held her in his lap.

“Malya, you are going to be fine. Think of His love. He will save you.”

“He has already saved me, Sami. And I am fine as I am, dead or alive. He came to me in your form and has spoken His love to me. Place your hand on my head and bless me Sami. I don’t want to go to Heaven, Sami. I am not interested in seeing the all powerful God in some divine form.

“But if I chance to see him somewhere in my long journey I will beg of him that I should be born your daughter in my next birth. No, no, no. I don’t want that. You should be born in my womb, Sami. Then and only then I can repay a small fraction of the selfless love you showered on this prostitute. So long, Sami.”

Malya died with her eyes fixed on KG. KG closed her eyes.

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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May 22, 2009 #10

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Part 10

“Needless to say that KG lit the funeral pyre and did everything as if his own daughter had died. Well, given KG’s nature that’s not surprising. What’s really surprising is KG’s conclusion to this touching real-life incident.

I have learnt from many Masters. Of all my teachers Malya is undoubtedly the best. She taught me the most precious lesson I have ever learnt.

People who read this story might think that God sent me to save Malya. It’s wrong. Absolutely wrong. God sent Malya to teach me all about love.

And I strongly believe that my spiritual evolution will be complete if and only if I am born as a son to her in some future birth. I am not sure if I have done enough penance to have that kind of a blessing.

Yamini had almost finished the ice-cream. Her stomach, her heart and her eyes were full. The first one with food, the second with love and the third with tears.

“You know something dear. Malya has taught me a valuable lesson too. I was just making a big fuss out of a simple software virus. And that was only on a computer. But poor lady! She had the king of all the viruses, the HIV on her body.

"And yet she did not let the virus travel to her heart. From now on whenever I stand before God, either in the temple or in our pooja room, I am going to chant the name Malya along with the other names of God. What a lady! What a love! And what a story!”

varalotti, May 22, 2009

varalotti, May 22, 2009

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