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Oh god!!! Not again, please…

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Angellic, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. Angellic

    Angellic IL Hall of Fame

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    [JUSTIFY]OH GOD!!! NOT AGAIN, PLEASE…

    Its gonna be a terrible day…I thought in my mind…

    I was walking down the straight and narrow winding road with a bag hanging on my shoulder too heavy for me to carry… swallowing my pain, walking with a heavy heart...

    What happened? Why am’ I walking alone? I have never been walked alone…never walked without my mom, bro or dad…Why am’ I here?:confused2: Then I could recollect my last night fight with my parents…I argued with my parents for something and in the end of the fight I realized that they always take me for granted…

    Nowadays, they don’t love me also, even my bro didn’t take my side…no one was ready to see from my point of view… It hurt me to the core…then I took this decision - To move out of my home sweet home to make them realize my worth. :bonk

    My heart became too heavy and tears automatically started rolling down my face. I was walking without any confidence and with heart occupied with fears…At that moment, my mind reminded me about my bro’s b’day which is in a week’s time. I’m supposed to surprise him with my unique gift…

    I shouldn’t have taken this stupid decision, I thought...

    No, I should prove my worth…that was not fair, not at all fair to hurt me by not agreeing to my point of view as always,:rant I argued with my own self...

    Dear brain, please stop confusing me; I need to think…I want to do something. It’s not safe for me to travel alone. What should I do then? Btw, how my parents didn’t notice me stepping out of my home with this bag. How did they let me go?:confused2: Who cares about me? Again I started weeping for my own idiocy…

    I sat on a bus stand thinking about where to go? What to do?

    Then I thought, “SHRIDI SAIBABA TEMPLE”…I opened my bag, I saw my wallet. It had few five hundred rupees notes and my debit card…I recollected the name of the travels from which we booked our ticket during our last visit to saibaba temple…I took a ticket from there and the person incharge instructed me to cross the highway as bus will reach by 9:45 p.m…I crossed the high way…

    Something happened!!! :confused2:

    I was sitting in the bus stop looking for the bus…I saw my bro walking in a hurry. Just crossed me but didn’t see me, I guess…I smiled and thought I should go back to my home,…They might have realized my worth by now…saying this, I walked behind my bro…Calling him…

    He didn’t turn back…how dare you idiot?

    I didn’t have ma dinner yet and with empty stomach, I’m shouting…I’m hurting my throat to gain your attention and you…you are ignoring me…what happened to this idiot? Saying this, I took a few longer steps to overcome him…as I was doing that…suddenly I slow down my movement as I saw my parents crying looking at something…

    what was that? Why are they crying?

    My heart was in my mouth when I saw myself lying on a pool of blood…My mom was crying and asking me sorry and telling me to open my eyes…

    That jolted me awake , my heart started racing. It was extremely terrifying…

    Che, what a terrible dream it was? Maa, I had a bad-sad dream today…was my reaction as soon as I got up…

    I narrated my dream to my mom and bro …my bro started his gyan, why you always think so negatively? Your mind is filled with so much of negative thoughts & “what ifs” that even your dreams become negative these days…

    Generally I get dreams when I think about something very intensely. Few days back, I saw a video about “SUICIDE @ EA CHENNAI”. I was quite upset with that video and had a convo about ghost/athma with my friends…I think all these resulted in such a scary dream…

    Oh God, not again…

    Thank god it was a dream… I thought to myself…

    With love,
    Angellic
    [/JUSTIFY]
     
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  2. Mridhu

    Mridhu Silver IL'ite

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    Good read.....nicely written....
     
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  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Angellic,

    Let the Lord bless you with a long life, happiness and peace of mind.

    Viswa
     
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  4. Angellic

    Angellic IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Mridhu...
     
  5. Angellic

    Angellic IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks for ur blessings Vishwa sir...
     

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