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Of Jams, Damn Traffic and Combo Offers

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, Mar 8, 2013.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    [​IMG]

    [JUSTIFY]I hate jams - oh, hold on, let me clarify, I hate traffic jams. Now it's just too bad that I hate them, because I better learn to love them, living as I am in this century. I get more than my fair share of them. If traffic jams were like their edible counterparts, I am sure the statistic of diabetics in India would have been fairly nearing the 100% level. After all we are such a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet race, aren't we?????

    But then jams of the traffic variety have their use too. Like the time I used to get stuck behind those big blue Bangalore buses belching fumes and would be fuming myself, wanting to get out and punch the driver in his snout for not turning the engine off. But being the mere scooterist I was, I did not have such powers over the Lord of the roads viz. the Bangalore bus driver. (Well, I still don't). So if I did not like it, I had to lump it. Or practice a virtue which was talked of in the Vedanta class - titiksha or endurance. That which cannot be changed has to be endured. And if you are smart (like a certain business savvy Kamalji here), and Life keeps throwing lemons at you, you will make lemonade, market it and make your millions. :-D So that being the case, I decided to make use of the traffic jams to learn Kannada. Yes, you heard right. This was the classroom where, stuck behind the blue buses, I learned to read the Kannada numbers (written on the number plates on one side in Kannada and in English on the other). :-D Hmmmm...... not a bad way, I would say to make lazy folk like me do some compulsory learning on the way to work or home or anywhere for that matter.

    Now let me admit, learning is not the only thing that one can do when caught in a traffic jam (or one of those infinitely long traffic signals). Of late I spend my time watching hoardings. There are some pretty intriguing ones, I must say. Of these, the most eye catching, intriguing one has been a Vespa ad which says "come together" and there is a pic of a half scooter, half man. And then it said Rs. 59000 (or some figure thereabouts). I was left wondering what that would mean. Why would a man take his Vespa scooter to the shop to buy one? He would go alone, right? Or take another human being along? Or did they mean that if you took the man and the Vespa, you paid a total price of Rs. 59000 as dowry? Take half, get half free kind of offer????? (But then again you would pay the dowry and go live in the shop, isn't it)? And then there should have been the picture of a rotund mother-in-law beaming triumphantly in the background as well. But there was no mil in the picture. So that was not what they meant. Well the mind fairly boggled. I decided I could not tax the left overs of my brain over this one since I needed them to get home in the first place. I could look up the internet after that. But the internet was not particularly helpful. It neither gave me the picture nor the meaning. So I thought I would turn to my other ILs (my favourite ones, I mean, not the other variety) to enlighten me.

    Yet another hoarding (it is for furniture if I am not mistaken - this is the problem, one gets so carried away with the ad, one forgets what it is for. Also goes to show how little the ad and the product have to do with each other) says "You don't know bad till you see good". Well, true. Like I don't know how bad my work is till I see a similar job done by say Cheeniya sir, OJ-da, Mindi or Arch. But then does not the reverse hold good too? You don't know good till you see bad. So if you think you have it bad, wait till it gets worse or till you see someone else who has it worse. Something along the lines of "I cried that I had no shoes till I saw a man who had no feet". And along the same lines, I thought traffic jams were bad till I saw someone who had nowhere to go. So on those lines, I shall leave you to ruminate on that Vespa ad and enlighten me with your thoughts.[/JUSTIFY]
     
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  2. BHAVNAM6

    BHAVNAM6 Platinum IL'ite

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    My dear Satchi,

    While stuck in the traffic jam..

    your immunity is getting stronger after inhaling the belching fumes from the buses.....

    You are practicing the virtues of our rich Vedanta.....

    You are learning Kannada.......

    You are turning into a philosopher..

    you are enhancing your logic and reasoning ability.....

    And everything for free.....in this devastating global economy...

    All perks at once in no time....

    Come on girl....what more you could ask for....??!!!!

    Love,
    Bhavna
     
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  3. getstrngth

    getstrngth Gold IL'ite

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    Oh dear Satchi,

    I was missing your post for a long time. When there is no posts for you/ kamalji/ mindan are silent the whole day seems boring. Your posts on different genres makes us all keep going.

    I'm sure to have a happy weekend :).

    Way to go!!!
     
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  4. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    I have never thought of Jam in this way.. Indeed how sweet it is ! :clap

    Now you are taking the ordinary traffic jam to a new level with lemons, marketing & MILLIONS
    And then you are proving to be the superwoman by even learning numbers of a language!
    I totally get what you mean by compulsory learning as otherwise we tend to put these things off.
    :goodidea:

    :-D


    This para takes the cake, so to say.:tongue

    Out of an every day occurrence you have managed to make me a reader pause and ruminate be it the lemons, millions, learning numbers, even dragged in Lord of the Road and then our eminent writers and a super very cute line “You don’t know bad till you see good”!
    If I had not fallen for your expressive intense interesting captivating writing here is me falling again.. and what a great tribute to one woman I “know” to be appreciated on Woman’s Day!
    Bow


    traffic-jam-cartoon.gif
     
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  5. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    "When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing.”

    Forgot to add to my comment earlier .. :wink:
     
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  6. knbg

    knbg Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Awww Sats......

    Reading the title, I headed to the kitchen.....and came back with a combo.....a sandwich with lavish lops of Jam ( untouched by my DS after just the first day....you see, I hate to waste food..... )...and a cup of hot coffee.....
    You know me well.....I get so involved in snippets by my friends, that I create the right ambiance and relish them.....( Mindi's posts make me play a song.....and yours make me bring some goodie...like lassi, choci,icecreammms,butter n jam samwiches.....mmmm....:))




    like a certain business savvy Kamalji here), and Life keeps throwing lemons at you, you will make lemonade, market it and make your millions.

    ha ha ha.......now too it's not bad....you churn out snippets for our reading pleasure.......:)

    But then again you would pay the dowry and go live in the shop, isn't it)? And then there should have been the picture of a rotund mother-in-law beaming triumphantly in the background as well.

    :biglaugh
    my favourite ones, I mean, not the other variety)

    :rotfl
    Enjoyed the generous humor.....
    Regarding the hoarding......well.....I'm waiting too......

    See, without nothing I have filled a page...:hide:.( certain habits die hard...:bonk:bonk.......)
     
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  7. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchi,

    Loved your thread as usual. Only the half man half Vespa ad keeps bothering me. I am thinking hard, something the doctor has strictly forbidden me to do. Given the state of my shrivelled up and vastly reduced grey cells. I am required to

    The virtue in question being "brain-rest".

    But as I indicated, by the time you reach my age, you hardly have a brain left to ask it to rest. I am searching everywhere and failing to locate it. I do see a hole in my pocket through which it could have fallen and ended up in the municipal dump. Alternatively, this could be a pickpocket story. If it is, the pickpocket cannot be happy with what he stole. I wonder how much it fetched in the stolen goods market.

    Anyway, what is this half man half vespa object? Sounds like a mermaid to me or possibly a centaur. If you have forgotten what centaurs look like here is an example:

    animal-centaur (1).jpg

    And here is a bit of what internent tells us about them:

    Given their likely battle worthiness, following the centaur line of thought, is it possible that they were invented to tackle the Bangalore bus drivers who troubled you so? Alternatively, I am wondering if the creature you discovered is a technological marvel of sorts. A man who has no further use of his legs, a pair of Vespa wheels having replaced them. That would add speed to his life for sure, but will he be allowed to play cricket or football for that matter? On the other hand, if you were to invite him to your home for dinner, you will not need to offer him a chair I suppose. For this to be viewed as a silver lining, however, the Vespa had better be equipped with strong supports to help its upper half (or the half man) partake of the victuals you serve on the table. Or else, he would need to lie on the floor sideways and eat his dinner. A sorry sight surely. But there is no end to possibilities. He could be holding his plate in his hands and circling round the table exchanging pleasantries with the guests and even give you a ride somewhat in the spirit of the following picture (except for the guy's legs which you must assume do not really exist).

    carring-passenger.gif

    I am not sure if this might increase complexities in your life, but then "Life IS trouble" as Zorba had said!!


    Love.

    oj-da
     
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  8. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Bhavanam,
    after seeing your sales pitch above, i can now understand why you are such a successful business woman. :thumbsup. You can easily sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo.

    AC the celebrity......:hiya....

    Satchi,
    Palpitation after seeing the picture. Need some comfort food. Jam it is. :)
     
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  9. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    I suppose that is a standard marketing question. Is it possible sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo? I am wondering how I would answer the question. Here is one answer that occurred to me. Of course it is possible to sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo, but he has to live in Libya.
     
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  10. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Awww there was a loophole that I missed. Good one oj sir :)
     
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