Of dominating men

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Even though all ofus know this harsh truth, we find it difficult to live with it. This reality faces us in our daily lives, daily interactions and threatens to break relationships.

After so many years of independence and handling big roles at work, I turned feminist. I have strong views on feminism and totally don’t liketaking sh*t from any man. I reached a stage, where I was successful and extremely capable. I can do anything that a man can do (probably better). I am sure many women out there are at the same junction.

Then I married. Now, there is aman in the same house. And the world at large gives a man more rights - right to take decisions, right to take the lead, right to control, right to approve ordisapprove. Even for little things like what kind of onions to buy, what kindof plates to buy, what kind of bedsheets, my husband gets involved AND approves/ disapproves. Ultimately, things are bought after he approves.

I am not happy with this settingat all. of course, I am not someone who will give in easily. Even if I don’t care whether red or white onions find their way into the kitchen, I do have aproblem if a man decides every big and small thing.

I have lived on my own for 7years of my working career and had a struggling student life when I moved from a small town to a big city. I am totally a self made person. I have travelledalone, handled money, handled stalkers and blank callers. I have had failures at work, I have had heartbreaks. I can pretty much handle a lot. I definitely do not need a man to tell me what kind of onions to buy (or even what kind of moisturizer to buy. Yes, he even gives his opinions on that).

I don’t know if it’s him or allmen are like this. Do only I feel caged when he interferes in every little thing or do all girls go through this. After months of screaming myself hoarse and trying to explain to him that he has married a very independent, successful,capable girl, who doesn’t need hand-holding, things remain the same. He still gets involved in matters of the kitchen and the like.

I was surprised when he instructed how to use a microwave once I came to US after marriage. C’mon! Why does he think I wouldn’t know how to use a microwave!

We do talk about equality these days. We say women have moved ahead and are as much as or more capable than men. Many so-called modern / open minded men even accept this fact. And yet, their basic attitude refuses to change. They still find it appropriate to take the lead, give opinion, take decisions and reserve the right of refusal.

Its not that I just take it all in. I claw, I fight. And he does give in to my wants. But it is always arebellion. Does it always have to be like this? Will a woman always have tofight back? Wont men accept women equality on their own?

 

Thanks for going through, insha. I don;t think we should jus bow down for no reason and let people treat us inferior to men. Maybe rebelling is not a good idea because as you said it gives one a tag of bad woman.. But we must always put down our foot and learn to say NO. Playing along is not the way..