Of Briefs And Bhakts

How would you feel when you meet an old buddy years or decades later?. I felt the same today when I ran into an old pal. Of course this pal is an inseparable part of me but has been dormant as a muse who has inspired many threads.. Today he oops sorry it emerged again in full glory to inspire me. Yes I mean my underwear.


It all started when I read a quote on Facebook about patriotism. Now what does patriotism got to do with undergarments.? According to this quote patriotism has become like your brief.. “Patriotism in India is like Superman’s underwear. You have to wear it outside and show it to everyone. Or else you are anti-national” said the wise guy who came up with it.


So unless you flaunt your patriotism you are deemed a traitor. And the foremost way to flaunt your patriotism is to stand up when national flag is exhibited and national anthem played in movie theatres. What a better place to display your nationalism than movie halls. After the movie is over keep a close watch on whether anyone is found sitting or is trying to move out while national anthem is played. Then rough ‘em up and voila’ you firmly put the stamp of patriotism on yourself.


So you see superman’s undy or (should we call it overy because he wears it over his clothes like the bhakts wear their nationalism ) is patriotic while our undies are not because our undies are, well undies and are worn as such. They are thoroughly anti-national un-bhakt undies.


So we need a rapid revaluation of our notions about underwear and patriotism. Since we cannot go out wearing underwear over our pants without inviting boos or without having a few stones thrown at us.


But undies really need a lesson in patriotism like those jokers in movie halls who remain sitting when national anthem plays. So they must be worn outside. Actually they deserve to be worn outside. Because anything that puts a real big hole in your wallet needs to be flaunted like your patriotism in this age of bhakts.


I asked a shopkeepers why undergarments often cost more than other clothes. “What do you think? They are endorsed by top stars. And they charge a fortune. For instance, the brand you buy regularly is endorsed by Sunny” he said.


Believe me, I v was virtually in seventh heaven or cloud nine (tick your preference). MY underwear was endorsed by Sunny Leone? May be she was wearing it too. At that moment, I was willing to reduce my bank balance to zero to buy a whole lot of that brand but the shopkeeper brought me down to ground level quickly by adding “Deol” after Sunny instead of “Leone”. That was outrageous. I have been paying through my nose for an underwear endorsed by a has been actort? I decided to change my brand


In the US many actors actually lend their names to briefs and briefs with their names cost more than expensive jewelry at times. (A good reason for wearing them like a necklace or a bangle or on your sleeve like bhakt brand patriotism).


Now it would be quite absurd to wear such underwear as underwear. May be you shouldn’t wear them at all but instead display them in a glass showcase in your living room for all to see and admire.(With burglar alarms in place for there is a high risk of them being stolen).


After this dekko at underwear being flaunted like bhakt brand patriotism , let us go to patriotism that is flaunted like superhero underwear. It is great for normal healthy guys to stand up during national anthem and display their patriotism but what about physically handicapped who can’t stand up and run the risk of a bhakt bashing?


For that movie halls need to invest in technology. They must spend on developing seats that would be programmed to automatically lift the filmgoers , physically challenged or unchallenged in a standing position after tying them up with belts or clasps. Then all those incorrigible unpatriotic types will realize that bhakts could be a catalysts for technological advancement.