Of Blackberry, Laptops, and Infidelity

Of Blackberry, Laptops, and Infidelity​

My daughter Seema (name changed), finished her MBA, and now working in a Bank in Jaipur. She comes back by 7 pm, cushy job and time, and her Bank 5 mins and 3 kms drive from home.


I come down from my office upstairs at around 8.30 pm, shower, collect my soda, whiskey, take out the ice, arrange the ciggies ashtray, my mobiles, specs, make my first drink, and search for the remote to watch news on NDTV which just starts at 9 pm.


Now daughter says why cant u come down earlier, I say what will I do coming early, for I will then start drinking earlier, and land up drinking more.


Remember the movie Sholay, where Gabbar tells Hema , that as long as u dance, ur lover that is Dharam paaji will live, as soon as u stop, I will shoot him dead ! Same with me, tea it is the whole day, around 7 cups, and when tea stops whiskey begins, hence I try and delay the whiskey time, so that I keep the self imposed limit of 150 ml, irrespective Harsha is in town or not.


Well , now that Seema is around, she is very excited to tell me about what happened at work, what targets she met, what clients she visited, some of them are my friends, but I have been sworn to secrecy. And also she tells me not to discuss her in the blogs, so be it, she has so many interesting tales to tell I could write a hundred blogs on them, but since she has told me not to, for reasons best known to her, I will not.


Today morning I told her, as she was leaving that yesterday it was 43.9 in Jaipur, and she said, papa in the bank we don’t come to know it is chilling there. And I said, no wonder I was roasting in my office. She said why do u not put on the AC, I said sweetheart, yr bank pays for the AC, here I have to pay, and since the office connection upstairs is commercial I land up paying double, that is around 8 bucks a unit, so I don’t use it .


And then better to get used to the heat , I still have the fan, and when I am blogging I am so mentally occupied, that I don’t feel the heat all that much, so the night sleep in the Ac is worth it really. I feel I have earned the AC !


Yesterday night, she was after me to get a laptop for myself.She said they have become so cheap, and that u are using the old desktop which does not look good. I said I just got the whole software and hardware replaced, just a couple of months back, for I could not find the old parts, so I had to change everything, now the Hard Disc is up from 80 GB to 320 GB, and I use just 5% of it, just the monitor is 10 years old, which looks dirty, but as long as it is working, it is fine with me.


But she was after me for a long time, and I refused. I fear getting addicted to a laptop, which is with u all the time. I am at my desktop from 10 to 8/30, and when I go down, for the next 14 hours I am away from the cyber world, and then in my own world of my family.


And with her first salary she wants to buy a Blackberry, and she wants me to get one too, they are cheap now I know, the oldest model comes for 10,000. That too is addictive, and I don’t want it even for 1000, for I have no use of it.


The other day, Bhabhi received an email from her buyer at around 11 pm, regarding some complaints in the goods sent, and she was upset and could not sleep properly. Now , BB have their uses, I don’t deny it. For people who are active in business and work, and those who travel, laptop and BB’s are a boon. But I am retired and I don’t travel much, these will be a nuisance for me, and even if someone were to gift it free to me, I wont take them, for I have no need of them right now.


I buy what I need, whatever the price, like I bought the first computer in 97, for a lakh with just a 1.1 GB hardisk and 64 rams, but I wont buy at any price what I don’t need.


As it is I have enough addictions of the computer, blogging, drinking, ciggies, cards and all that, which are difficult to leave once they attach themselves to me, and now these two addictions are waiting at the doorsteps to catch hold of me.


They are expensive , even if they are given to me for free.





Coming to Arnold , the Governor of California, u must have read about his marriage dissolving after 25 years. All because he flirted with his maid, and ten years back sired a child out of her.


What was his wife doing for 10 years ? They say a woman’s instinct is very strong, she is the first to know if her husband is upto some mischief, and here for 10 years she did not know. Or was it a case like Hillary Clinton, who kept quiet and supported her husband and now reaping the rewards ! For Arnold was the Governor of California, and this would have been bad for his Governorship . She too is from the Kennedy family of politicians.


And then there is the case of Kann, who was caught in New York, accused of molestion of the hotel maid. Now I do not understand something really here. He went for bath, did he leave the door of his room open ? And a maid is supposed to knock and come in, u are not supposed to enter a room even in open.


And this fellow came out nude, without even a towel, and could the lady have not screamed, and brought the other workers to the room !


Well something dosnt seem right here, but we will leave it here.


This kann, thrice married, many affairs, and they say in France, the more virile u are , meaning u have girlfriends and all that, u are looked upto by the public. They would not want a president like Morarji Desai.!!!


And Arnold could he not used a protection, every stupid persons knows what happens if u don’t. And I feel his wife should feel proud that my husband is so virile, that even at 60, other women vie for him ! And that he still has the power to produce a kid, so what if he as 4 of his own with the wife ! I feel something to be proud of , but well opinions differ here.


And now don’t u think India is heaven ? if an indian had been caught doing the hotel maid thing here, do u think he would have been inJail eh !And put in a solitary cell, and a case going on in days of the happening.


Man that way India is good, Hassan Ali, has 8 billion dollors in in his Swiss Account, dozens of passports, and see he is having a great time, Harshad Mehta was , god bless his soul, moving about freely, even given half a dozen Government Black Cats to protect him !!!


This is one good country, where even if u slip a little, or murder many or rape, u can get away, witnesses turn hostile and nothing happens to them for wasting the court’s time, try doing any of this in the United States, and the whole Govt will come down on you.


So now tell me what is good, US citizenship or Indian, yr guess is as good as mine.


East or West, India is the best eh !


KAMAL MAHTANI


Wife – Jab aap bhar jate hai , mujhe bahut ghabrat hoti hai
Husband – Ghabrao mat, main jaldi hi aa jaoonga
Wife – Bas aapke isse baat se toh main ghabrati hoon !!!





A man got admitted to a ladies Ward in a hospital.
Nurse to patient – are u not ashamed of being in the ladies ward.
Man – What is there to be ashamed of. I was born in a ladies Ward.





A couple went to a wishing well.
Man bent down,threw a coin and made a wish

Wife bent down a little more
And fell in the well.

Man shouted – Hey it works !!!




Wife sent husband for shopping.
She told him to go an dbuy something
That will make her look georgous.

He came back with 2 bottles of Vodka for himself !!!



Wife is sweet when she is new
But she is sweeter when she is true

But above all

She is the SWEETEST

When she does not belong to you !!!!!