Now what??

Hi Girl... you have taken ONE BIG BOLD STEP!!!:thumbsup
don't look back... there is a wonderful life waiting for you ahead.. think of your future leave the past behind... if fate has it then your hubby will come after you one day and realise his mistakes otherwise believe me you are better off without him....
Take each day as it comes.
please don't get conned by his sweet talk and again make the mistake of returning to your in-laws house as this will give them further encouragement to abuse you.
It is but natural that you will miss your hubby initiallyafter all you loved him!!! you may wonder throughout your life whether this was a correct step but have faith in your instincts and convictions.
All the best to you...
K

 

Hugs to you my dear,

U dared to come out of the house in that critical situation, hats off.

First of all your FIL has no rights to use such words on you, it shows their cheap culture, and your hubby keeping quite and nodding his head is untolerable.

Ur DH is very very insecured because he is financially dependent on you FIL, if only he had confidence of earning his own money then definetly he would have sided you, its no use of thinking of this person who has no capability to move out and run a family.

First make your self financially independent, that will boost your confidence and you can sternly tell everyone in your inlaws house that you deserve respect.

I feel sorry that your mother also has mistaken you, try convincing her that you, coming out of your inlaws house has valid reasons, if still she is not convinced then just forget it and try to move on...

Since you are still young concentrate on your career, make lot of savings and if your DH still loves he will come to you again, this time no false promises, just say you are going to move to your new house, so make sure you take a separate house and then settle down.

Please don't take any decision in haste, sit down and think if you really want to live with this man who put you down in front of his own parents.

 

Hi First of all I dont understand how you fell in love. cos though not completely atleast 75% you shoud have known abt him. Looks like you never really understood him. Anywaz no use thing over the past, you need to think of your future. As everyone advised first try to fix your career after that the way you approach your problem will change. Dont take any hasty decisions. After you settle in a job think over the problem. Look at the problem from outside the box. Have an open discussion with your DH. Talk to him and ask what mistake did you do. cos everyone will think they are right and the other person is at fault. Only if you talk to your hubby you will know his side of the story.So you talk to him, tell him how you feel abt his dads approach. Ask him to find a job on his own and you guys try living seperately with no ones interventions. Marriage is not something to be broken at the drop of a hat, try to work on it. Ofcourse you can divorce and walk out of your marriage but even that should be meaningful.

 

Guys should be self made; just like your husband not respecting you , you FIL will never respect his son............

Do you think your husband is doing this out of his will? i think he is doing this because he is extremely dependant.

your FIL may be controlling; you dont have to be submissive to anyone.

you stand up for yourself show your husband that you can become financially indepedant atleast tht will throw some sense into him.........

while tables wont turn in a day...........you need patience and hope and lot of positive enthusiasm to stick in this marriage.

to start with start working........

 

Still.. if you really cant put up to expectations of these ppl (like many of us) then you have to move out.. with most of us, DH had their own job and no family business, for you u'll have to move out alone.

Remain in contact with your DH...
From what I read you've done enuff to make this marriage work, you really cant continue living in a house where there's no dignity.... this is a great fear that grips a gal whenever a business family alliance comes up.

If I were at your position. I would have done the same to first goto parent's place, then find a job since ur from a major B school & recessionary phase is getting over... give a complete space to married life.. & really look forward in life.. there are no kids & even if this was a love marr then I cant live under these circumstances just becos of that... when there's love the other person ensures to make your life better rather than defaming you in front of your own parents.

 

I happened to go through this thread today.

I think u r going in the right path. Ur husband seems to be very much dependent on ur FIL. If he joins ur FIL in abusing, I think u have to give serious thoughts about working on ur marriage life furthur.

I usually think marriages are not to be broken. But in your case, i think it doesn't stand good.If u badly want ur marriage to happen, then give it a lot of time to cool. U become financially independent first and then wait for ur husband to change. Because he has to learn to respect ur feelings. He can't just say haan daddy for everything.May be time and space would make him realise more and become mature.

It is really really difficult to leave a loved one.But it is not right to lose everything just for love. Atleast the person whom we love should be respecting us and our feelings if not anybody else.

So, just give lot of time. Meanwhile u can become financially dependent. Moreover, since the incident happened recently, by the time u give some time, u will also come out with an unemotional decision.

But before taking any major decision, think about it a lot in every angle, so that u don't regret once u have decided.The more logical u r, the more strength u will have to stick to ur decision.

Good Luck...

Love and Regards,
Archana.