1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Not Able To Handle Things

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Saina999, Oct 13, 2021.

  1. Saina999

    Saina999 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    He wants to satisfy his ego.He is abusing me in whatevwr way he wants.He says that im eating and enjoying happily.I have stopped eating food from 2 days.He is the one who made to stop work and now he says like this.Throws utensils breaks tv.Midnight also wen i sleep he disturbs me by making noise like throwing things once i cry he feels happy and sleeps.I told to my parents secretly about this and my father told if he going to repeat we will file a case against him.But once he gets exposed i dont want to stay with him he might do anything to me.Still hoping that he will understand.If i dint have kid i would have left him long back.Feeling depressed.
     
  2. Reena26

    Reena26 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    If your parents are supportive - that is really good. You are the mother - no child is going to be given to an abuser. You file and get an injunction against him that he stop his behaviors or can’t abuse or come near you. Do you have any way to record on your phone his abuse? I don’t even think now under the laws you can be thrown out of your home. Hugs.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2021
  3. Reena26

    Reena26 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    I went through something almost the same. I took a legal step when he abused me in front of my son that put a shame on him and his families reputation. I put a stop to everything - the abuse, their 2 hour phone calls every weekend demanding to know all we do, them trying to contact me. It has been 4 years and we are happy. I have told my family too - my mom told me you pack your bags and come home if they come. As a mom you have to protect your child first. Not your husband.
     
    KashmirFlower likes this.
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    11,913
    Likes Received:
    21,221
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    @Saina999,

    Don't worry about the emotional reactions of the families, societies, etc. #1 priority for you is to create a safe environment for your son and yourself. If you have to stand up to your husband, don't hesitate to do so. I don't think the situation can become any difficult that what it already is. I won't even suggest a discussion with him about what is wrong and just leave immediately. I feel you need counseling as you already indicated that you are suicidal. Your happiness and your son's happiness should be top priority for you.

    1) Ask your parents whether they can afford for your higher education.
    2) Find a job for you to sustain well on your own
    3) Create a peaceful environment for your child.

    You would never know how much impact the current environment can create in his mental health in future. You definitely don't want your son to grow up in the presence of your husband, unless he is willing to change himself, agree for a treatment and demonstrate he could be a good father and a good husband.

    If I have a daughter like you suffering, I will ask her to leave and stay with her parents forever. Please don't try to end your life as it would create more problem for your child. God bless you.
     
    KashmirFlower and Reena26 like this.
  5. Reena26

    Reena26 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Saina - I read your previous post and I can relate on one level. Is your son not the grandson of your in-laws? Their blood? How can they think of putting their needs before your sin? That too your husband? Can’t eat? That’s child abuse and you need to take legal action. It is his duty and responsibility to take care of his sons health. I had the exact same issue where my husband was not taught what marriage was. They thought they would just sit down on their son. Even when my son was 4 they were still preaching about the education they gave their son when now the focus should be on my sons needs. I was horrified. They told me they are old age at the age of 56/58 for FIL and that I should send him to a daycare and I should go out to work. As I said - it was the legal action that forced him to step up and change his attitude. I wonder if the money he sent from USA was demanded not freely given it would be considered extortion. Regardless I think it could fall under child abuse and neglect on all parties. Please see the Indian Penal Code sections for in-laws. Laws have changed. There is one called “abettment of suicide” if he is the reason for your illness or you go in hospital. But it should never come to that. Do you have friends or family members other than parents who are strong? There are ngo and human rights advocates if you don’t have money for legal fees. Please be safe.
     
  6. Reena26

    Reena26 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
     
  7. Saina999

    Saina999 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    He is acting infront of everyone as a good person and his wild behaviour nobody knows.he expects me to be like his slave doing everything watever he tells .He started abusing physically. Everyday is like a horror movie to me.I should just stay calm if he abuses verbally or else i will get punished physically. I have stopped telling to my parents also coz they are having health issues and im scared if something happens because of these issues.I havent told to any of my relatives till now I dont feel they can help.


     
  8. Saina999

    Saina999 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
     
  9. Reena26

    Reena26 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Saina. I am really worried for you. It is never ok to accept physical abuse. What kind of monster is he? You need to record him on your phone and call law enforcement. Is he doing this in front of your son? I am really worried for you. You need to leave and take your child.
     
  10. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    733
    Likes Received:
    761
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Op

    Our parents are stronger than we think. No parents want their daughter to suffer. You are educated and you can earn your living. You will not be burden on anyone. If you live with your husband longer you will become depressed or suicidal. Your kid may get mental issues too.

    can you go to your parents house with kid? Plan for exit quietly. After going to parents house contact lawyer and find out about your options. Take all important documents quietly with you. He may come to pacify you. He will repeat and continue same behavior later also. Be strong and safe.
     

Share This Page