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Not Able To Handle Things

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Saina999, Oct 13, 2021.

  1. Saina999

    Saina999 New IL'ite

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    Please somebody help me.It has been 10 years and the problem is still not solved.All that i posted previously and this is the continuation of story.Now Im having a 5 year old kid and he is also suffering like me in the past.Mistake is with both husband and inlaws.My husband is a kind of old generation man though he is educated his behaviour changes sometimes and im always scared of his behaviour.Inlaws are so much habituated to have the money of their elder son They are not allowing us to live happily.sometimes husband accepts this and sometimes he again changes that im the villain.He is grown up in a village environment and he doesnt have much friends.He just sits at home all time and the only people he talk to is his parents,grandmother and his mother's sisters thats all.Sometime back he realised that his parents are wicked and he told me that he made a mistake by sending all the money to them without saving a rupee.Now he is saying because of me he lost his relationship with his parents.Initial days of marriage i observed this in him and thought of telling this to my parents once im back to india but somehow mil forced me to have kids she kept so much pressure on me to have kids and made that happen.My husband is like so conjuse he doesnt want to spend anything .Should not keep maid,Should not use geyser for hot water,Should not buy vegetables if they are costly should not always buy food from outside.I always fighted for these small.issues and now i think he changed anyhow i get pocket money from.my parents and i try to manage with that whatever i want i buy with that.Problem is MIL still wants money and her plan is like once we fight and get divorced she wants her son to get married to a DIL who nods her head for whatever she says.Husband is also in that track.Now all of them are blaming me .Husband cannot utter a word infront of his parents even if they do mistake but if i do any small thing he will shout at me and make me cry always im doi g this from the time i got married.now my son is also with me .I just want to die because i beared with them and i cannot see my kid also suffer this pain.MIL BIl FIL want expect husbands money and my parents have to feed me and husband.Husband cannot utter a word if her mother makes me cry infront of him.A split personality husband and greedy parents of his.I tried to commit suicide but no success in that as well.
     
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  2. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Op..Dont think of commiting succide..Trust me u can find a solution..Why dont u find a job and keep ur salary with urself for your son and urself. Try to b diplomatic with ur husband and dont fight. Just focus on yourself and your son. Tell your husband to shell out a certain amount for household and dont bother about wgat he does with rest of the money.
     
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  3. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    When your parents are ready to support you financially, take up some course and get a job. Be financially independent and secure yourself first. See how life treats you when youre on your own and decide if its compatibility issue or financial issue.
     
  4. Saina999

    Saina999 New IL'ite

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    Thanks for the support.Im trying to find out a job now that is the only option left.I used to.work before marriage and because of this mad guy I stopped working thinking that he would take care.of me.He is tuned up in a way to earn money for parents from childhood.He doesnt know how to run a family how to take care of them.His parents are cheating him very easily and the blame is coming on me. I am very much worried about my kid's future.
     
  5. Saina999

    Saina999 New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your support.He is a kind of person who does not share his feelings and expects me to understand him.I have been telling him from so many years .Im fed up nowHe is hurting me a lot with his words.He says that im staying with him just for his money.All this i knew MIL training and i dont know how to change his mindset.Even if i try to tell softly he is saying im acting.If i cry also im acting.
     
  6. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    Please take help from your parents to invest in some additional course for your job if you have a long gap in your career. Doing a short term additional certification courses might help you get a job.

    Its really pathetic. But if he changed now, please hire a maid for daily chores and focus on studies/finding job.
    Really? I mean do you think your husband is serious about divorcing you? If he really wants divorce, don't fight back. Better to leave such a petty man. But if its just threatening to scare you or to make you dance to their tunes, be smart... Dont show yourself as weak/helpless. Show that you are enough by yourself for you and your kid to survive without him. Anyhow he isn't even providing you or your kid as per your posts. Nor he respects or treats you well.

    This is the worst worst worst decision. Please don't repeat it. What will happen if you die? To be born in this world it takes 9months but it won't even take 90seconds to die and end your life. But is it worth?.
    If you die, your husband will happily get married and forget you. What about your kid? You brought your child in this world. It's your responsibility to nurture kid till he/she is 18 and capable to take care of own self.
    What about your own parents who brought you in this world and gave you education and food shelter..to see you die infront of them?
    Please take counselling and first help yourself. Nobody can help you unless you help yourself. Not even God.

    I hope you never commit the mistake again to end your life.
     
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  7. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Find urself a good job and then u dont have to listen to this crap..when u know Ur MIL is teaaching her all this u shouldnt b bothered about what he says..Give utmost imp to your and your son's happiness:banana:
     
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  8. peet1983

    peet1983 Silver IL'ite

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    Divorce is much easier and right decision than suicide.
     
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  9. Saina999

    Saina999 New IL'ite

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    My parents and we stay in the same city.He is having some kind of personality disorder and not able to accept that.we went to my parents place this wekend and he was nagging with my child and with me .my father got angey and warned him.now he got angryy on my father and me .he is breakking all things at home and talking differently and we are scared now.myself and my kid is so scared now.i dont know what is going to happen tonight.my father bought some sweets for my kid he threwed that away and my mother gave some curry he threwed it.broke plates.behaving weirdly.whoever tells himAbt hisbehaviour he does like this.
     
  10. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, you should seriously consider this opportunity to seperate. Its up to you decide to for divorce or not. Not now.

    Its important to be alive for your kids . I cant imagine how horrible it is for them. They deserve better environment. Its your duty to protect them. Please take control of your life to your hands

    Will these numbers help.
    WOMEN HELPLINE
    Domestic Abuse Help in India

    See this post Putting The Happy Face
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2021

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