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Not A Right Time To Leave Him ? Advice Needed

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Natashabalk, Feb 15, 2019.

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  1. Natashabalk

    Natashabalk New IL'ite

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    Hello everyone i was a silent reader of this forum ,not shared about me much but i now i need a little advice
    I am in 40s we belong to a upper middle class family my husband runs a business he is kind ,soft never raises voice,everything was good until he brought his friend to our house couple of years back it all started flirting and all but one day it went to next level we started having an affair ,recently husband started feeling uncomfortable that i mention his name often i think he already knows what is going on and not able to ask me about it ,yesterday as valentine day present husband gifted me a chain and just hugged me and cried,from yesterday i feel bad for him although i could not say i have emotions to him or not ,how to leave such emotional husband iam planning to move out may be he read my mind by my actions.
    Anyone who had emotional husband/bf how to deal with them and move out of relationship please advice
     
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  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Who gets such a good husband??
    Why do you want to leave him
     
    anika987, Anusha2917, NeetaR and 2 others like this.
  3. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    If your husband's friend can cheat so blatantly on his own friend, how do you expect him to be loyal to you long term. His moral compass so weak and if he leaves you in couple of years what will you do. This is a passing emotional fling that happens when couple dont spend quality time regularly. Dont lose a good husband over this.

    Cut all contacts with your lover and focus on your husband. Whether you come clean or not, it doesnt matter. Just cut all connections and try to spend quality time with your husband.
     
  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Why do you think this flirting characterless man is better than your husband? If he can cheat his friend, he can cheat anyone. what was missing in this marriage? If your dh was the one doing it how would have you reacted?

    If you like to give another chance, cut all contact with that man and focus on your married life

    Feeling sorry for your dh. Do you have kids?

    Its your life, if you are done with this marriage,face the consequences, file divorce and move on. Hope your dh get a loving and sincere partner.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019
  5. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    People flirt mostly for timepass.
    Do you have kids?Have you thought about them?
    Wat about him?

    If at all you dont have any feelings towards your husband, then its not at all fair to stay with your husband and still cheat him. May be you need to give yourself some time to think
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019
  6. Natashabalk

    Natashabalk New IL'ite

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    Yes we have 2 kids one daughter 11 years old and son 8 years old
    He maybe a good husband and a great father to my kids ,he is very shy in a big crowd and nervous although he holds a big post in society but his friend is very social and has a crowd around them always and make them laugh,may be thats what got me attacted to him.
    Thank you for your advice,the point about what if he leaves me after few years i will think about it.

    May be he is treating me like a queen recently when our son came into our life he is dependant on me for everything may be it made me get bored from routine as i replied in other post my husband does not know how to impress or make me laugh or knows what i like the most the other guy makes me laugh and never feel sad when he is around ,about kids yes we have 2 kids
     
  7. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    All men are not same. He is shy., may not have a great sense of humor.
    We have many posters here whose husband's beat, verbal and physical abuse.
    You are lucky.
    He earns well, a kind husband, great father.
    Remember grass is always greener on the other side.
    Dont spoil the good life god blessed you.
    The friend is immoral for sure.
     
    Lalithambigai likes this.
  8. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    I dont understand what you want now. Do you want to leave your husband who treat you like a queen for
    a flirt who cheat his friend. Have you thought about your kids. What is your plan for them?

    Is this new man is ready to marry you and take care of your kids? Are you sure that you are the only one woman in his life now? You may be one of them. Are you sure he will make you laugh after marriage? One will do anything during courtship, but after marriage the reality can be different. I hope you take a wise decision of not spoiling your good life. Anyway, its up to you. You have to decide it.
     
    Lalithambigai, Anusha2917 and shravs3 like this.
  9. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    This has all the characteristics of a troll post.
     
  10. Neelaa

    Neelaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Exactly
     
    anika987 likes this.
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