Nosy Sister In-law

How to deal w nosy sis in-law. She dictates my marriage. While I’m still struggling w my marriage and issues w H his drinking and abuse. I am also unable to get a job yet, still struggling for a break. While she is always poking into our daily matters, the culprit is H, he shares almost every petty thing w her they get so shameless at a conversation even talk about bed room stories on how her H can’t get hold of her when he’s back from on site job at Diff state. She almost shares the most intimate things that only H should. Always portrays as she is loving lovable person always giving and generous kind, which is not true. As she’s completely opposite of what she flaunts. I always get insecure that this lady is catching up about me in daily basis from kitchen to bedroom stories. Since for past couple of months we r not getting along, her involvement is getting more. Her kids never give respect to me, neither say hi or talk turn their faces like their mom when any conversation happens, all these acts they do when my H isn’t witnessing. And when I complain he only proves me as wrong, that I misunderstand or think negative. I know how she bahaves w me, she doesn’t even acknowledge my presence and doesn’t bother to him, but if I do that same to her he gets mad at me. What a sister lover, he’s so obsessed by her and she involves mil these two ladies play me and dictate on how to control me and my kids.
I have explained her kids behavior, coming to my kids she wants to talk to them make them say aunt, slowly trying to manipulate them against me. What ever I like to do w kids she shows it as wrong. About disciplining or teaching, she readily gets involved to feed H to stop doing that and he warns me or stop doing things that we do as parents. What’s her control on my family life. I hate to hear from my kids taking her name or their kids names, while they only I’ll treat me.
H says being w me my kids won’t become intelligent or smart as I’m not smart and doesn’t know to raise kids. What kind of statement is this, I heard something similar from sil saying I can raise ur kids to be intelligent and it’s not my cup of tea. Who’s role is what, I’m confused, am I the mom or she. Her H is always away working hard always on business trips earns well and has provided great living and has a high class life style. And she only wants to sit home and keep judging on what I do in daily basis. Doesn’t she have any other work besides that. These two ladies broke his first marriage made that girl run away w their domination. I’m feeling tortured to take this. I feel like quitting this marriage but still don’t have a job to take a stand. This man cannot love a woman who’s there for him who does things for him everyday and who’s given him a family. Rather chooses to love his mom and sis and finds pleasure talking to them almost every single day sharing every detail. I didn’t sign up for this, he was not like this when we were living together before getting married. He only dedicated all his time and attention towards me. And now he’s showing the worst side of his. The other day out of no reason he picked a fight w me even when I wasn’t interested in replying he provoked provoked and said all bad things to me, all bad and foul words, what kind of education one might’ve attained who uses such filthy words to his wife. I said every one that came out shall go to his mom and sister. And I am one like them, if he has loads of respect for them, I’m no different than them. Obviously he didn’t like it, so I said if you’re not proud of listening the worst things used by ur mouth to ur own folks. U have no right to use on me.
Pl suggest how do I keep her out of this—The nosy lady. She keeps unnecessary status msgs posts relating to me to instigate My H of how wrong I’m to him. I’m tired of seeing those daily basis. I felt like attacking her directly saying to be out of my business. Not sure if things go even worse. As she’s v manipulate and things currently r not in my favor.

 

Hi @lukywife thanks for ur suggestions, presently ignoring the situation but it’s there always and feels like I had enough. And he has to put a stop to this and focus on his family. She’s happy in her life and has everything and why be after him. And again it’s not about her, if H is correct he won’t entertain all this. I did talk to him calmly he said many times that he will share and I should’t have a problem. He will do it life long.. an arrogant answer.

 

True. I agree to that. I took a 5yrs break from career and this initial one break is taking for ever. Thanks for ur suggestion.