its really ok honey. As much as I understand your frustration, please do not take a decision in sadness or frustration or lack of options. If I remember right, you have been married before and are looking for remarriage. I have been in exactly your shoes and I married someone who doesnt have a job or education (big mistake. I thought I earn so I will feed him. But their mentalities are different. its like kutte ko ghee hazm nahi hoti. Find someone who has a life of his own and you can atleast remotely respect.) Dont make these decisions in haste. Its so so so much better to have children(if thats on your radar) with a sperm donor than to marry and then that guy is nothing but a sperm donor and still throws tantrums to do that. Not trying to thrust my negativity on you. But hoping to share some hard earned wisdom. Atleast try explore and talk to fertility clinics (not regular gyneacologists) and you will know pros and cons. Make an educated decision.