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No So Good Experience With Potential Groom Seeing

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by nolife, Dec 25, 2022.

  1. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    So I met this guy outside and to me it looked like he was not interested in me. He spoke for just around 1hr and later dropped me home.
    My mom kept contact with boys mom and some how got their famjly to visit me after 3 weeks. During this time, guy never bothered to message me or even save my number. So i did the same too, i did not message him though I took the initiative of calling him and meeting.

    Now guys family and him came yesterday . He never spoke and made eye contact with me. All the time he was talking to my dad . I initiated chat and asked few questions for which he replied.I am personally not open to marry such guys but now my mom is insisting that she will call his mother and ask her feedback if they are willing or not.

    I wish to know if it is girl side or boys side who tells yes after seeing? Please share your experiences married ladies.
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Traditionally the boy’s side would be the one to convey the decision. But if you are not comfortable then don’t dismiss your gut feeling. Let your parents know.
     
    anika987, nolife and Thyagarajan like this.
  3. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    Isn't it mutual? It doesn't matter who says yes first as long as it's a yes from both the sides which further takes the matter to marriage!
    Gone are the days when the girls side would anxiously wait for the letter or call from prospective groom side as if waiting for results of a degree examination!

    Anyhoo, you can ask your mother to talk to guy's mother and findout what they are thinking about your alliance.
    If they are positive, then ask for some time before deciding marriage dates and try to talk and get to know the guy.
    Sometimes, the guys might say yes in pressure to their mother's emotional blackmail. You need to be sure that the guy is interested in you 1st. Not his mother not his relatives not anyone else but 1st findout if he is interested to marry you. If that is not therez drop out!
     
  4. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you and this is where I am afraid about as I feel guy is pressurized by his mother and our conversation in the restaurant has been too short to decide.
     
  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Fix more meetings and go out with him to understand more.
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    He needs to show some interest…

    it’s not like he is a good or bad person maybe he is a good person but there has to be some interest shown from his side too..

    Maybe you can ask him upfront about his decision that way you can find what you want.

    Vibe and comfort is very important for any relationship
     
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  7. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Yes, he is not imterested and looks like he has come to my house on his mothers force. They finally rejected me

     
  8. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Gold IL'ite

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    congratulations! these pressure guys, no clarity guys, are just a nuisance now and forever. The mothers think that the sons change with the presence of the wife. We are not some movie characters to happen like that.

    Next time, schedule lunches in different restaurants (of course share the bill) . That way, the least you can get is to explore new restaurants. I do wish for you that you go exploring with a loved one soon.
     
  9. sneha1985

    sneha1985 Gold IL'ite

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    I had a no clarity guy strung me along for years. I had never met someone like him before, so wasn't sure how to deal with him. They don't even speak the truth. I asked him multiple times if he is interested and he kept saying he is but needs sometime for some personal things going in his life (these were just excuses). Even after almost 2 years nothing was happening, I pressured him to speak the truth and that's when he told me he is unsure and gave me reasons which meant he doesn't like me that much. He still wanted to continue, but I ended up the connection. So, always look at guys action and not his words. They could say they are interested even when they aren't.
     
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  10. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Above family rejected me.. I have similar situation with one more guy where he is not coming to meet me and its been an year.
     
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