1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

No Respect For Inlaws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Goahead, Jun 2, 2020.

  1. Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    72
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    I know that our Indian parents have always taught us to respect elders and I did that for almost 15 years .
    Now I have come to a point of adulthood in my life where I have become too mature to just respect someone based on age. Of course , when I meet someone who is old age : I will always have a respect of age for them and I’m always nice to them
    But with my In-laws , I have no respect left for them
    I mean seriously , my words may cause a spark but I dnt respect my in-laws at all . I rather look down upon them
    The reason being : as a person ( not in-laws) I find them cheap, manipulative , liar , self centered and always using situations for their benefits . I’m not just judging them on their behavior with me but to others as well. I’m sure the relatives in India see how cunning my mil is with words and always praising herself for small little things which she may do and when it comes the time for big things or actual doings : she stays mum and plays the old age card or health card . If I see , I’m sure the other relatives see that too but they being relatives, wnt point it to her on her face but I’m sure they talk behind her back

    She is manipulative and a liar and my Fil stays quiet knowing that she’s lying . Hence I dnt have any respect left for both of them
    Is that normal ? I dnt want to be that typical Indian Dil who should be respecting them all the time no matter what.. I’m done with all that and I feel that I’m too I dependent and self made and if I choose my friends and people I want to spend time with , I should not be dragged with negative folks like these .
    I sometimes literally look down upon them . I never say anything like that to my husband or anyone but inside I have been feeling guilty as well . One side of me tells me that respect is something that a person gains with their behavior and in 15 years you cannot just force someone to respect someone . If they were nice as being normal parents , they would still have some respect from me but I see that they even manipulated their son and try to use him as much as they can and have double standards with him as well . Hence I have zero respect for them
    Tell me
    1. Is that an ok feeling?
    2. My husband wants to move them sometime and how will I live with people I dnt respect ? Rather I actually look down upon them as manipulative liars and hungry money snatchers . I dnt trust even a single word that comes out of their mouth and I alway doubt them for playing me and husband ( husband never sees that and gets too emotional )
     
    Loading...

  2. Ramyarc

    Ramyarc Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    81
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    It's ok not to have respect for in laws but better not to show it, especially in front of your husband. we all have those people in our husband's family whom we want to stay away from (including me). However from my experiences, I have found that its best to deal with them via silence. Easier said than done. But that's the only way to maintain peace.
     
    suzii likes this.
  3. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    201
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    One side of me tells me that respect is something that a person gains with their behavior and in 15 years you cannot just force someone to respect someone
    By nature of india most of woman are passing their life with this dilemma. But i dont green. We need to respect person by their characters and behavior. Not because of age.

    It's better to prepare seperate arrangements for urself in ur home like seperate tv, seperate music system so on. Set boundaries in intial days itself to avoid their **** in your space and individuality. Try to diplomatic, express ur uneasy in actions not via words. Don't respect and don't blame. Just ignore and avoid much contact with them. Let's ur husband care them
     
  4. Sony23

    Sony23 Junior IL'ite

    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree with you dear, respect is earned may it be younger or elder, we indians have been taught to bear in laws just for the sake of parents or husband or kids but honestly a person can only take so much .trust me i been through this ****,sorry excuse my language,i respected and did their sewa even after knowing all their cunning plans but i was never accepted till date, there is a limit to everything..you need to put your foot down at some point, dont say anything bad just live your life,learn to first love yourself,focus on kids and be happy..i also have in law issues i hardly talk to them i never disrespect them but we rarely have a conversation.stay strong and away from toxic people.
     

Share This Page