Hello, you ladies have always provided suggestions which have helped me a lot when I am confused about a guy. I have been talking to one guy right now and some of his talks confuses me or looks like red flags to me sometimes. Sorry for the long post... I am posting it in bullet points down below: - Have talked over phone 4 times till now. Out of that 2 times he said he doesn't expect anyone to change after marriage and nor should any girl ask him to change. First time I agreed with it, but 2nd time when he kept repeating it, I said that we sometimes need to make adjustments or compromises for our partner and if he is considering that as a change. I said even if I don't specifically ask him, there will be some changes in life after we have kids. He said for kids it's fine since kids would be the priority, but between 2 of us, we shouldn't have to change. - He doesn't cook which is fine with me since I can cook. He mainly eats 2 meals one is light brunch and gets something healthy for dinner from outside mostly like salads or some Americanized veggie light food. Now I would have completely neglected this thinking things will change after marriage, but when I try to match it with above listed bullet i.e. he doesn't want to change. So I asked if he is willing to continue his diet as such since I eat home cooked food 3 times a day. I asked him twice and both times he said he is ok with eating 3 times and then he mentioned there is nothing wrong in eating the way he is eating. I feel such small things could become a problem in future.. Again am not married so asking if such small things can turn into big problems after marriage? - He has 2 younger brothers and one of them who is a year younger to him is married. I thought it could be that this guy is not finding a match and his brother was in love and hence got married, but he said it was an arrange marriage. I don't ask all questions at once and am trying to find a best way to ask why his younger brother was married first. I am ready to let go of this and never ask him about it since if he is a great guy it really doesn't matter to me, but I have had experiences in past where families were trying to hide a lot of things which would come out later. Also I noticed he doesn't talk much about his family. If I ask him questions he tries to finish it in as short as possible, so I have to ask specific questions to him. - I have talked to many guys who has female friends and I myself have guys friends, but in his case couple of his relationship with his female friends sounded weird to me. He said one of his female friend had to visit India for few weeks so she called him home, cooked and served him dinner and asked him a favor to water her plants and test drive her car few times a week while she is gone. She said she only trusts him for this matter of letting someone enter her apt. He lives few mins away from her place, but goes there and does what she asked for. One of her pots was cracked and it leaked the water which entered her living room and he cleaned it up. He said her another female friend visited the city, called him up and asked if he wants to join her for Vegas trip since she has some points accumulated and is getting free stay at the hotel. He was trying to say they shared a room and then he stopped. I am living in US for 10+ years and have never asked anyone for such favors so I felt it a bit weird, but maybe it's pretty common out there. - One of the calls he asked how frequent I talk to my extended family and how frequently I talk to my parents. He sounded shocked that I call and check on my parents everyday. Next call he said if there are any problems between a couple it should stay between 2 people and should not even be shared with parents too. I said I slightly disagree coz family can help to join a broken marriage and he sounded annoyed by that idea. He says he is modern in thinking, his family is orthodox but their views changed after he moved to a bigger city for job. - We both are from computer science fields and work in tech companies and planning to interview other companies. He now wants us to prepare for interviews together from next call or so, which I am planning to deny for now as I don't want to mix my matrimony thing and interview prep when we haven't met even once. His profile looked good to me, was very polite in initial 2 calls or so. I recently on weekend had to spent night at the airport after dropping off my parents for their flight and my flight was next day morning, he stayed awake overnight with me until I sat in my plane next day morning, so I thought he is kind. But some of his thoughts and behavior are sounding like a red flag to me, so asking for suggestions from you experienced ladies. Thanks for reading!